Raising our happiness baseline (with Sasha Chapin)

Jun 19, 2024 1h 21m 15 insights Episode Page ↗
Spencer Greenberg speaks with Sasha Chapin about challenging the happiness set point, non-dual meditation, self-compassion, and training visualization for personal growth.
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Shame with Curiosity

Imagine behaviors or emotions you’re ashamed of, view them curiously, and embrace the physical sensations without judgment, finding them interesting or thrilling. This re-frames aversive emotions, lowers ego defenses, and can lead to profound psychological shifts and phenomenal self-love.

2. Cultivate Phenomenal Self-Love

Move beyond intellectual self-acceptance to deeply accept all your emotions and experiences moment-to-moment, without flinching away from any part of yourself. This reduces inner conflict, enhances connection to the world, and allows for more effective personal change.

3. Relax Mental & Emotional Contractions

Observe how your mind habitually contracts or flinches away from emotions and experiences, especially when anxious. Gently probe these contractions and consciously relax them with loving, patient awareness. This can significantly expand your consciousness and reduce reactivity.

4. Practice Non-Dual Meditation

Engage in practices that dissolve the perceived boundary between self and world, such as deeply inquiring into body sensations or mentally labeling self-sensations as “not me.” This can lead to a more dilated, less reactive, and profoundly more relaxed state of consciousness.

5. Train Visualization (If Aphantasic)

If you have aphantasia, practice exercises like verbally describing a room with eyes open, then immediately trying to do so with eyes closed, to rewire verbal and visual brain connections. Reconnect with childhood imagination to overcome emotional estrangement from fantasizing.

6. Prioritize Basic Happiness Maintenance

Implement fundamental well-being practices: regular exercise, sufficient sunlight exposure, reduced refined sugar intake, shorter commutes, and increased time with friends. These foundational habits significantly ease the path for deeper psychological work.

7. Engage in Combat Sports

Practice combat sports like Brazilian Jujitsu to experience controlled “violence,” which can resolve aggressive cravings and foster comfort with your body, physical contact, and danger. It also provides humbling, ego-reducing experiences.

8. Practice Deep Conversational Attention

When interacting with others, consciously give your maximum, 100% attention to pick up on subtle cues and emotional undercurrents. This enhances conversation quality, makes others feel more relaxed, and deepens your understanding.

9. Explore “Woo” with Discernment

Be open to exploring “woo” or new-age practices, especially if conventional methods haven’t worked, focusing on those that offer experiential truths despite potentially unscientific explanations. Discern carefully, as some can be genuinely valuable.

10. Record Ideas for Writing

Consistently record all essay ideas, even nascent thoughts, using a tool like ThoughtSaver, allowing them to stew and develop over time. This prepares the groundwork for efficient writing when inspiration strikes, reducing unfinished drafts.

11. Write Essays in One Sitting

When inspired, attempt to complete an entire essay draft in a single sitting. This strategy significantly increases the likelihood of finishing the piece, preventing it from languishing in an incomplete state.

12. Cultivate Writing Emotional Tolerance

Develop emotional self-tolerance to write effectively by being willing to honestly face and transmit your true thoughts and feelings, even if they cause anxiety or exposure. Sincerity is less cognitively demanding than inauthenticity and improves writing quality.

13. Have Awkward Conversations

Actively seek out and engage in difficult or uncomfortable conversations that you have been avoiding. This practice is identified as a “final frontier of emotional work” and can lead to significant personal growth.

14. Experiment with Meditation Techniques

Recognize that meditation instructions are often individual and abstract; experiment keenly with various techniques to discover what truly works for you. Subtle shifts in practice can yield profound, personalized results.

For inner work, explore Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is,” Locke Kelly’s non-dual meditation, Michael Ashcroft’s expanded awareness course, and the book “Difficult Conversations.” These resources are suggested for their potential positive impact.