Suffering and the self (with Jay Garfield)
1. Reduce Craving and Aversion
Actively work to reduce your attraction to things you don’t have and your aversion to things you do have, as these egocentric attitudes are identified as the fundamental causes of suffering.
2. Differentiate Pain from Suffering
Recognize that physical pain or unpleasant experiences are not inherently suffering; suffering arises from your aversion to that pain or experience. By dropping the aversion, you can experience pain without suffering.
3. Change Internal Psychological Responses
Focus on altering your own psychological responses to external events rather than trying to change the entire world around you, as this internal shift is the path to achieving happiness.
4. Reduce Ego Attachment
Actively work to drop the egocentricity from your experiences and stop thinking that everything is about ‘me’ and ‘what I want’ or ‘don’t want’ to reduce suffering and experience the world more objectively.
5. Recognize Suffering as Internal
Understand that suffering is primarily your own mental and psychological reaction to what is happening, or not happening, around you, rather than an intrinsic quality of external events.
6. Cultivate Flow States
Increase the percentage of your life spent in ‘flow states’ during activities like walking, talking, or sports, as this naturally reduces the self-illusion and leads to a happier life.
7. Depersonalize Suffering
Shift your focus from reducing ‘my’ suffering to releasing suffering in general, recognizing that suffering is a universal phenomenon to be alleviated without needing to determine if it’s yours or someone else’s.
8. Work for Others’ Happiness
Recognize your deep interdependence with others and set your life as a mechanism for making other people happy, as this is the only way to genuinely achieve and enjoy your own happiness.
9. Practice Mudita (Joy in Others)
Cultivate ‘mudita,’ which is taking joy in the success and happiness of others, to enhance your own well-being and transform potential envy or resentment into a source of personal joy.
10. Eradicate Subject-Object Duality
Work to eliminate the dangerous distinction between yourself as a ‘subject’ and the world/others as ‘objects’ in your experience, moving away from a self-centered view of the universe.
11. Transform Abusive Relationships Internally
If in an abusive relationship, focus on transforming your own attitude towards it by cultivating a willingness to let go, rather than attempting the often impossible task of changing the abuser.
12. Understand the Self as Illusion
Engage with the philosophical concept that the ‘self’ is an illusion, an illusory object rather than a real one, as this understanding can help reduce suffering rooted in self-positing.
13. Challenge Self-Concept with Thought Experiments
Use thought experiments, such as imagining yourself with another person’s body or mind, to challenge your reflexive identification with a fixed ‘self’ and recognize it as an owner separate from body and mind.
14. View Attention as Psychological State
When meditating, understand that the ‘spotlight of attention’ is a particular psychological state or experience, not a pure subject or ’experiencer’ behind experiences, to move towards a ’no-self’ understanding.
15. Recognize Sense of Self as Feeling
Perceive the ‘sense of self’ as merely an illusory feeling or sensation, similar to experiencing the color red, rather than a fundamental, permanent aspect of your being.
16. Restructure Perceptual Habits
Engage in long-term meditative practice to fundamentally restructure your perceptual and conceptual habits, which is necessary to overcome the deeply ingrained self-illusion experientially.
17. Practice Non-Self-Absorbed Appreciation
When engaging with art or experiences, cultivate a focus on appreciation, admiration, and gratitude for the creators or the experience itself, rather than becoming lost in personal emotional implication.
18. Actively Notice Self-Disappearance
Become more attentive to moments or periods when the sense of self isn’t present, and actively try to understand what led to those states and how to extend them.
19. Cultivate Moral Commitment to Future
Recognize the causal connections between past lives (ancestors, societal influences) and your current life, and between your current actions and future lives, fostering a moral debt of gratitude and commitment to future generations.
20. Develop Insights for Others’ Suffering
Approach deep personal development practices, such as meditation or monastic training, with the motivation to become a better instrument for alleviating the suffering of others, rather than solely for personal benefit.
21. Seek Deep Familiarity for Transformation
Understand that while intellectual comprehension of Buddhist concepts is possible without meditation, achieving a transformative effect requires deep familiarity, which can be gained through meditative practice, long study, or immersive conversations.