What's true and what's myth about trauma? (with George Bonnano)

1. Differentiate Potential Trauma from Harm

Recognize that “potential traumas” (violent, life-threatening events) do not always lead to long-term psychological injury, as most people recover without lasting harm, which reframes understanding of traumatic events.

2. Avoid Over-Labeling Minor Distress

Refrain from labeling everyday distress or minor upsetting events as “trauma” because this can make you unnecessarily anxious and distort your brain’s threat detection system, leading to heightened anxiety.

3. Understand Normal Early Trauma Symptoms

Expect and do not be alarmed by common trauma symptoms like nightmares or intrusive thoughts in the first few days or weeks after a potentially traumatic event, as these are normal brain processes attempting to make sense of what happened.

4. Severe Trauma Is Remembered, Not Repressed

Understand that genuinely severe and traumatizing events are typically remembered, not forgotten or repressed, significantly impacting your life and challenging the myth of hidden or recovered memories.

5. Brain Keeps Score, Body Scorecard

Adopt the perspective that “the brain keeps the score, and the body is the scorecard,” meaning the brain processes and tracks experiences, and physical symptoms are manifestations of brain activity, not hidden trauma stored in the body.

6. Manage Internet to Reduce Anxiety

Take control of your internet usage, especially “doom scrolling,” as the internet’s design to feed buzz-generating content can distort your brain’s threat detection and make you overly anxious.

7. Break Down Problems into Manageable

When facing overwhelming challenges, practice “context sensitivity” by focusing on what is happening right now rather than the entire problem, making it easier to identify and address immediate issues.

8. Cultivate Diverse Coping Tools

Develop and utilize a variety of coping tools and strategies, as relying on only one or two methods makes you inflexible and less able to adapt effectively to different challenging situations.

9. Evaluate and Adapt Coping Strategies

After attempting a coping strategy, actively assess whether it worked; if not, be willing to try something different, understanding that resilience often involves trial and error rather than a single successful approach.

10. Recognize Your Own Coping Skills

Pay attention to what you actually do when struggling throughout your day or week, as many people possess effective coping mechanisms they are not consciously aware of, which can be better utilized once recognized.

11. Use Deep Breathing for Calm

Practice deep breathing to relax muscles and oxygenate your body, which can help calm your mind and improve clarity of thought, especially when feeling tense or anxious.

12. Employ Grounding for Anxiety

When experiencing anxiety or panic, use grounding techniques by focusing on your body or the immediate environment to shift attention away from internal thoughts and help regain composure.

13. Seek Treatment for Persistent PTSD

If symptoms of PTSD persist for more than a month or two and interfere with your daily functioning, seek evaluation and treatment from a mental health professional (psychiatrist or psychologist) rather than waiting for it to resolve on its own.

14. Avoid Immediate Professional Intervention

Refrain from seeking professional help immediately after a potentially traumatic event (within the first few weeks), as early interventions have often backfired or made people worse by pathologizing normal, temporary reactions.

15. Consider Prolonged Exposure Therapy

For diagnosed PTSD, consider prolonged exposure therapy, which involves repeatedly recounting the traumatic event in a safe, structured environment with a therapist, as it helps integrate fragmented memories and process the experience.

16. ACEs Are Not Individual Destiny

Recognize that while adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) correlate with negative outcomes at a population level, they are much less predictive at the individual level, meaning high ACEs do not condemn an individual to a life of struggle.

17. Differentiate Chronic Stress from Trauma

Understand that prolonged chronic stress, lasting months, can lead to physical and psychological breakdown, but it is distinct from a singular traumatic event and its specific aftermath.

18. Short-Term ‘Ugly’ Coping is Okay

Acknowledge that occasionally using “ugly” coping mechanisms like having a drink to get through a particularly difficult moment can be natural and acceptable for short-term relief, but not as a consistent strategy.

19. Avoid Inflexible Coping Mechanisms

Be wary of relying on any single coping mechanism all the time, especially self-destructive ones like substance abuse, as this inflexibility prevents true adaptation and can lead to further problems.

20. Address Avoidance Behaviors for Anxiety

Confront avoidance behaviors related to fears, as consistently avoiding what you fear tends to maintain or even increase anxiety rather than resolving it.