How To Stop Getting Dragged Around By Your Anxieties, Thought Loops, and Insecurities | Sebene Selassie
Dan Harris and meditation teacher Sebene Selassie preview their new audiobook, "Even You Can Meditate," offering a practical guide to starting or restarting meditation. They discuss adapting practices, understanding mindfulness beyond just the mind, and navigating common challenges like the five hindrances.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Introduction to 'Even You Can Meditate' Audiobook
Sebene Selassie's Background and Meditation Journey
Buddhism's Non-Theistic Nature and Accessibility
Meditation as a Lifeline for Trauma and Health Crises
Addressing Concerns: Meditation and Peak Performance
Meditation's Benefits: Not a Panacea, but Reduces Suffering
Adapting Meditation Practices to Individual Needs
Exploring Different Meditation Postures and Positions
The Overarching Importance of Intention in Practice
Deconstructing 'Mindfulness': Sati and Embodied Awareness
Mindfulness as Non-Judgmental Attention for Freedom
The Role of Remembering and Forgetting in Practice
Understanding Freedom from Mental and Emotional Hooks
Why 'Mindfulness' is a Misnomer: Beyond the Mind
The Body as a Reliable Anchor in Meditation
5 Key Concepts
Sati (Pali word)
The ancient Indian word from which 'mindfulness' is translated, meaning an embodied, global, or holistic awareness. It encompasses being attentive to one's environment, including the body, mind, and emotions, with a non-judgmental quality.
Mindfulness
The capacity to pay attention in the present moment without judgment for the purpose of freedom, as defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It involves meeting experiences with warmth and friendliness, allowing one to be with things previously thought unbearable.
Intention
The act of deciding the best for oneself, choosing well-being, and clarifying one's 'why' for engaging in meditation. This 'why' can serve as a powerful engine for sustaining the practice, potentially expanding from self-care to a broader desire for the well-being of all.
Freedom (in meditation)
Refers to both the ultimate aspiration of nirvana and the more immediate experience of being unhooked from anxieties, worries, and pains. It's the ability to find moments of peace and not be dragged by negative thought loops or emotions.
Four Foundations of Mindfulness
A classical framework for mindfulness practice, starting with awareness of the body. The body is emphasized as a reliable anchor for awareness because it is always in the present moment, unlike the mind which can wander to the past or future.
7 Questions Answered
Meditation can instantly make your life better by reducing stress and improving focus, but it is not a magic bullet that fixes everything. It helps manage the 'extra layer of suffering' we add to pain, allowing us to meet reality with grounding and capacity.
No, there's no single 'right' way to meditate; you can stand, lie down, or sit in a chair. While an open posture is encouraged for breathing and alertness, the practice is about cultivating awareness, not adhering to rigid physical positions.
Buddhism is not a theistic religion; it offers a set of teachings that form the foundation of mindfulness meditation and can be adopted by agnostics or people of any religious belief as 'something to do' rather than 'something to believe in.'
No, meditation, particularly mindfulness, actually helps improve concentration, focus, and efficiency. It makes individuals calmer and less emotionally reactive, which is why it's adopted by high-performers like executives and athletes.
Mindfulness, from the Pali word 'sati,' is an embodied, global, and holistic awareness that includes the body, mind, and emotions. It's about paying attention in the present moment without judgment, with warmth and friendliness, for the purpose of freedom.
The body is crucial because it is always in the present moment, serving as a reliable anchor for awareness. While the mind can wander, returning to bodily sensations helps ground the practice, especially since our culture tends to over-privilege the mind.
Intention is about deciding what is best for oneself, choosing well-being, and understanding one's 'why' for practicing. This clear purpose can become a powerful engine for sustaining the practice, potentially expanding from personal care to a broader desire for the well-being of others.
22 Actionable Insights
1. Meet Pain with Grounding
Employ meditation to meet pain and suffering with grounding, centering, and capacity. This approach helps you deal with reality rather than distracting yourself or trying to get away from it.
2. Reduce Added Suffering
Use meditation to reduce the “extra layer of suffering” (e.g., “why me” narratives) that we add to pain. The practice helps you learn to be with things as they are, rather than adding mental anguish.
3. Cultivate Non-Judgmental Awareness
Cultivate mindfulness to observe what’s happening in your mind and body with a non-judgmental, warm remove. This allows you to view difficult emotions or physical discomfort without drowning in them.
4. Confront Uncomfortable Emotions
Use mindfulness to confront and “be with” uncomfortable emotions and painful sensations directly. This is an alternative to avoiding them through self-medicating behaviors like technology addiction, shopping, or drinking.
5. Ground in Body Awareness
Ground your meditation practice by starting with body awareness, as the body is always in the present moment. This makes it a reliable anchor for your awareness when the mind tends to wander.
6. Reframe Distraction as Practice
Reframe getting lost in thought during meditation as part of the practice, not a mistake. The act of remembering and returning to the breath or body is mindfulness itself.
7. Set Clear Intention
Set a clear intention for your meditation practice, starting with a desire for personal well-being, health, happiness, and reduced stress or suffering. This initial choice helps direct your practice.
8. Explore Your “Why”
Explore and track your “why” for meditating over time, as a clear intention acts as a powerful engine and motor for consistent practice. This motivation can evolve from self-care to broader purposes.
9. Broaden Intention to Others
Broaden your meditation intention beyond personal well-being to include benefiting others, finding more meaning in your work, and purpose in your life. This allows your intention to spread out into well-being for all.
10. Practice “Remembering to Wake Up”
Practice “remembering to wake up” from distractions (e.g., thought loops, unhelpful behaviors) and “start again” with renewed awareness. Apply this repeatedly, both during formal meditation and in daily life situations.
11. Enhance Focus & Calmness
Practice meditation to enhance focus, effectiveness, efficiency, calmness, and reduce emotional reactivity. This ancient technology helps executives, athletes, and others achieve peak performance.
12. Start Meditating Consistently
Start meditating consistently, as benefits can appear quickly (e.g., within a couple of weeks) and compound over time. These improvements can accrue like a good investment.
13. Prioritize Self-Care
Prioritize self-care through meditation, as taking care of yourself provides more energy. This increased capacity then allows you to be more present and available for others.
14. Find Your Meditation Style
Find a meditation style that works for you by exploring various traditions and techniques. The goal is to discover what best suits your life, brain, and specific needs to derive benefits like reduced stress and improved sleep.
15. Experiment with Practices
Experiment with various meditation practices, trying them out in a suggested deliberate order initially. Ultimately, figure out which ones work best for you and your individual needs.
16. Adapt Posture for Comfort
Adapt your meditation posture by standing or lying down if sitting still is difficult or causes physical pain. There are many ways to meditate beyond traditional sitting positions.
17. Maintain Open Posture
When meditating, sit up straight or at least keep your body open, avoiding a collapsed posture. This supports proper breathing and enhances your sense of alertness during practice.
18. Use Standing for Grounding
Use standing meditation as a good option to feel grounded. Bring your awareness to your feet, as it helps you connect with physical sensations and stay present.
19. Lie Down to Release Tension
Practice lying down meditation to fully relax the body and release tension often held while upright. This allows you to rest your full awareness on the body without the struggle of maintaining posture.
20. Anchor with Breath & Sensations
Consistently bring awareness to your breath and bodily sensations during meditation. This serves as a reliable anchor to guarantee you’re in the present moment when your mind inevitably gets lost in thought.
21. Approach Buddhism as Practice
Approach Buddhism as a practical philosophy to “do” rather than “believe in,” as it is not a theistic religion. This makes its foundational teachings on mindfulness accessible to agnostics or people of any religious belief.
22. Join Meditation Challenge
Join the free five-day ‘Even You Can Meditate Challenge’ from March 23rd to 27th on the ‘10% with Dan Harris’ app. This challenge offers different practices from Sebene and live online events with guided meditation and Q&A.
5 Key Quotes
I always get very suspicious when somebody tells me they're good at meditation.
Dan Harris
What it can take away is that extra layer of suffering that we add to the pain. The oh, woe is me, the why me, and to really be with things as they are.
Sebene Selassie
Getting lost and starting again is not a problem. That is correct meditation.
Sebene Selassie
It's not something to believe in. It's something to do and can be adopted by people who are like me, you know, agnostic or by anybody with any religious belief.
Sebene Selassie
The body is always in the present moment. So it's a really reliable anchor for our awareness.
Sebene Selassie