The pre/trans fallacy, and why you should learn the skill of coaching (with Eben Pagan)
Spencer Greenberg speaks with Eben Pagan about the vertical conception of development, exploring how individuals evolve through emergent psychological stages. They discuss applying this model to entrepreneurship, relationships, and the critical role of coaching as a meta-skill for personal growth and supporting others.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Introduction to the Vertical Conception of Development
Piaget's Stages and Adult Cognitive Development
Predictability and Order of Developmental Stages
Entrepreneurial Developmental Stages (Kiyosaki's Model)
Balancing 'Throwing Yourself into the Fire' with Staged Development
The Triune Brain Model and Three Types of Success
Applying Developmental Thinking to Relationships
The 'Pre-Trans Fallacy' in Understanding Others
Learning from Diverse Perspectives, Even from 'Enemies'
Claire Graves' Values Model and Spiral Dynamics
The Importance of Coaching as a Meta-Skill
Defining the Role and Value of a Coach
Common Mistakes and Effective Approaches in Coaching
Guiding Individuals to Clarify Values and Next Steps
5 Key Concepts
Vertical Conception of Development
A model suggesting that humans progress through emergent levels of psychological development, similar to biological evolution, where each stage builds upon and transcends the previous one, requiring personal construction of reality through experience.
Constructivist Developmental Model
The idea that each individual must construct their own model of the world and reality through experiences, trying things out, and building paradigms, leading to new brain wiring and 'superpowers' at each emergent level.
Triune Brain Model
A model (used metaphorically here) that posits three nested brains—physical (reptile), emotional/social (mammal), and thinking (neocortex)—suggesting three fundamental ways of experiencing and succeeding in reality: physical, emotional/social, and mental/conceptual.
Pre-Trans Fallacy
The tendency for people to perceive something developmentally emergent or at a higher order as being at a lower or less sophisticated level, simply because it is different from their current understanding.
Spiral Dynamics
A popularized model derived from Claire Graves' work, describing different levels of human values development. The first six levels involve making others with different paradigms 'wrong,' while the seventh level allows for understanding and relating to all previous levels without judgment.
9 Questions Answered
It's a model suggesting that humans go through emergent levels of psychological development, where each stage builds upon the last and requires individuals to construct their own model of reality through experience.
While some aspects of developmental stages seem to happen in a particular order for everyone, some people may appear to skip stages or develop capabilities without doing the work of earlier stages. However, fully experiencing each stage can make the overall developmental structure stronger.
Adult developmentalists believe that adults can continue their cognitive development indefinitely by engaging in practices like meditation, learning new models, and having diverse experiences across different domains (physical, relationships, business, art).
It's useful to have at least a bare minimum of experience in many different domains and roles to build a stronger, more robust foundation, which provides more reference points for creative problem-solving. However, too much experience in one area can constrain thinking.
It's the tendency to view something developmentally emergent or at a higher level as being less sophisticated or 'behind' one's own current level, simply because it is different.
Coaching is a crucial personal and professional skill because it helps individuals support others in their growth, guiding them through transitions and transformations by facilitating their own discovery of future goals and action steps, rather than providing direct advice.
Asking a sequence of questions like 'What do you want to achieve?', 'What happens if you achieve it?', 'What do you want to avoid?', and 'What happens if you avoid it?' can prime a person for clarity and insight, leading them to identify their own next action steps.
The biggest mistake is performance anxiety stemming from the misconception that a coach must have all the answers and tell the other person what to do, rather than understanding coaching as facilitating the other person's own discovery of solutions.
By taking the time to understand their background, personality, and motivations, one can gain insights into how they achieve things, even if their values or objectives are disliked. This allows for learning effective strategies without necessarily condoning their actions or values.
16 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Emergent Solutions
Cultivate an optimistic belief in ’emergent islands’ (superior solutions) that are unpredictable but consistently appear. Persistently seek these through collaboration, imagination, experimentation, and perseverance, as this mindset fosters creativity and persistence beyond your current understanding.
2. Beware the Pre-Trans Fallacy
Be aware of the ‘pre-trans fallacy,’ which is the tendency to misinterpret higher-order, emergent ideas or behaviors as less sophisticated or beneath you. Actively seek aspects in differing viewpoints that might represent a higher developmental level or offer beneficial insights, rather than dismissing them.
3. Learn from All Perspectives
Take time to deeply understand people you superficially dislike or disagree with, recognizing their unique genius and learning effective strategies from their approach, even if you disapprove of their values or goals. In controversial issues, strive to understand and learn from both sides, as tribalism often blinds you to valuable insights.
4. View Relationships as Entities
View your romantic relationship (or any partnership) as an emergent entity separate from individual identities. When disagreements arise, ‘side with the relationship’ and collaborate to tessellate your values, trusting that the resulting solution will be superior to individual desires.
5. Master Basic Coaching Skills
Learn and practice coaching skills to develop them as a core aspect of your identity, enabling you to effectively support others’ developmental growth. This enhances your ‘humaning skills,’ making you a more effective collaborator, mentor, and supportive presence in various life roles.
6. Utilize Achieve, Avoid, Act Model
Use the ‘Achieve, Avoid, Act’ coaching model: First, ask what someone wants to achieve and its benefits. Second, ask what they want to avoid and its benefits. Third, ask for their next concrete action step, leveraging the psychological priming effect to elicit immediate, self-identified actions.
7. Conduct a Values Alignment Exercise
Perform a values clarification exercise by listing your top five values, then listing the top five ways you spend your time. Compare these lists to identify misalignments and areas for greater value-based living, bringing self-awareness to how you direct your life.
8. Continuously Self-Evolve
As an adult, commit to continuous personal development through practices, meditation, learning, and new experiences. Continuously develop yourself across physical, relational, business, and artistic domains to increase your impact, power, and creativity in the world.
9. Gain Diverse Life Experiences
Embrace new experiences and ’throw yourself into the fire’ with passion projects across various life domains (physical, emotional, social, learning, business, art, psychology, philosophy) to foster exploration and growth. Identify and fill developmental gaps by gaining direct experience in areas where you lack it, strengthening your overall foundation for multi-dimensional success.
10. Progress Through Entrepreneurial Stages
If aspiring to be a great entrepreneur, progress through the stages of employee, self-employed, business owner, and investor. This sequence helps you gain foundational skills and diverse perspectives, making you a more effective and robust entrepreneur.
11. Cultivate Rational Faith
Maintain ‘rational faith’ in emergent solutions, especially when facing friction or challenges in collaboration. Persist until a superior, unpredictable outcome materializes, even if you cannot initially understand or predict it.
12. Give Others Benefit of Doubt
When someone seems unreasonable, give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming a reasonable underlying motive. Actively investigate what that motive might be, fostering an open-minded approach that often reveals valid reasons for their behavior.
13. Understand Life’s ‘Games’
Learn the ‘games’ (political, status, business models) inherent in different life domains to avoid being hustled, reduce personal frustration, and become more flexible and effective. This helps you stop taking situations personally and navigate them with greater strategic awareness.
14. Balance Activist Perspectives
Practice ‘popping in and out’ of intense perspectives, such as activist causes, to understand their moral weight. Simultaneously maintain a broader view to prioritize your efforts among the many important issues in the world, recognizing that no one person can solve everything.
15. Practice Self-Direction
Practice self-direction and conscious choice in all life domains (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, creative). Collaborate on this journey and serve as a role model for others, recognizing the miracle of being able to consciously pilot your own life.
16. Daily Project Oversight
If you’re managing a complex project, personally visit the site daily to observe progress and ensure accountability. This hands-on approach, as demonstrated by successful builders, prevents others from ‘bullshitting’ you and keeps the project on track.
6 Key Quotes
I think that it's useful to think about these stages as being almost like stages in a video game or something. And if you go play the whole stage out and you see how the whole thing works, you understand it all a lot better.
Eben Pagan
You have to believe that there's something that you have no way of being able to understand or predict or create yourself. And then you have to stay in the friction until it emerges, until it actually shows up.
Eben Pagan
When we're looking at something that's transcendent to us, right, we usually see it as being something that's less sophisticated than us.
Eben Pagan
Every human is a genius, like in their own way. And once you understand how they figured out how to do that thing, then you can have an insight into how to do something that you're trying to do better.
Eben Pagan
If you side with the relationship, if you identify with the relationship itself, then you realize each of the partners has values that are sacred, that are important to be represented. But each of them also has some crazies and some, you know, some neurosis and some wackiness.
Eben Pagan
Coaching is me facilitating and supporting as they figure out their next steps and their answers. And then if I have some value to add by, you know, giving them some advice once in a while, that's fine as well.
Eben Pagan
1 Protocols
Achieve, Avoid, Act Coaching Model
Eben Pagan- Ask: 'What do you want to achieve?'
- Ask: 'What happens if you achieve it?' (To identify second-order benefits/implications)
- Ask: 'What do you want to avoid?' (Or 'What do you want to prevent?')
- Ask: 'What happens if you avoid that thing?' (To identify benefits of successful avoidance)
- Ask: 'What's your next step?' (This question, after the previous ones, primes the person for clarity and insight, leading them to identify their own next action.)
- (Optional) Ask: 'What could you do first?'
- (Optional) Ask if they will do it, put it on the calendar, and start holding them accountable.