Become a better communicator: Specific frameworks to improve your clarity, influence, and impact | Wes Kao (coach, entrepreneur, advisor)

Apr 6, 2025 Episode Page ↗
Overview

This episode features Wes Kayo, co-creator of Alt-NBA and founder of Maven, discussing how to become a world-class communicator. She shares practical tactics and frameworks for executive communication and influence, emphasizing agency and preparation.

At a Glance
30 Insights
1h 33m Duration
14 Topics
7 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Introduction to Wes Kao and Communication Importance

The 'Sales, Then Logistics' Communication Framework

Achieving Conciseness in Communication

Signposting and Effective Formatting in Writing

Developing and Practicing Communication Skills

Cultivating Confidence and Accuracy in Communication

The 'Most Obvious Objection' (MOO) Framework

Strategies for Staying Calm in High-Stakes Conversations

Effective Strategies for Managing Up

Giving Constructive Feedback: Strategy, Not Self-Expression

Delegating Effectively While Maintaining High Standards (CEDAF)

Utilizing a 'Swipe File' for Communication Inspiration

Leveraging AI for Enhanced Communication

Lightning Round: Book Recommendations and Personal Insights

Sales, Then Logistics

This communication principle emphasizes first selling the audience on *why* they should do something (the benefits, the problem it solves) before diving into the *how* (the details, process, logistics). It ensures buy-in before discussing implementation, preventing slow or no response.

Concision vs. Briefness

Being concise is about the economy of words and the density of insight, not merely a low word count. A concise message is clear and impactful, avoiding meandering language, even if it's longer than a brief, confusing message, and often requires preparation.

Signposting

Signposting involves using specific words, phrases, and structural elements in writing or verbal communication to guide the audience, signal upcoming information, and highlight important points. This technique reduces cognitive load for the reader or listener and helps maintain attention.

Most Obvious Objection (MOO)

The MOO framework is a mental filter for anticipating likely questions or pushback before a meeting or presentation. By spending a few minutes thinking about potential objections, one can prepare responses or pre-emptively address concerns, reducing the chance of being blindsided.

Strategy, Not Self-Expression

This principle for giving constructive feedback focuses on motivating behavior change rather than venting personal frustrations. The goal is to trim everything that doesn't contribute to the desired outcome of the person changing their behavior, ensuring the feedback is productive.

Question Behind the Question

A technique used in high-stakes conversations where, instead of simply answering a direct question, one probes to understand the deeper, underlying concern or motivation behind why the question is being asked. This allows for a more relevant and impactful response and continues the conversation.

Swipe File

A swipe file is a collection of inspirational examples of effective communication, such as well-articulated phrases, compelling copy, or effective strategy documents. The act of collecting these items helps train one's awareness to notice, analyze, and borrow from effective communication strategies.

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Why is communication so important for leaders and professionals?

Communication is crucial because it's often 'the job' itself for leaders, enabling buy-in, effective decision-making, and achieving desired outcomes. Poor communication can lead to confusion, skepticism, and apathy, hindering progress.

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How can I ensure my audience buys into my ideas before I share all the details?

Always start with 'sales' before 'logistics' by first explaining *why* the idea is important, what problem it solves, and how it benefits the business or the individual, before diving into the specific 'how-to' details.

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What is the key to being truly concise in my communication?

The key to conciseness is preparation, not just brevity. By clarifying your core point beforehand, you can ensure your message has a high density of insight and avoids meandering, even if it's not the shortest possible message.

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How can I make my written documents easier for busy executives to understand and skim?

Use 'signposting' by incorporating specific words (e.g., 'for example,' 'because,' 'as a next step'), phrases, and a clear structure to guide the reader, highlight important information, and reduce their cognitive load.

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How can I develop and improve my communication skills effectively?

Treat every interaction as 'game day' to get enough practice, adopt a hypothesis-driven experimental mindset, and focus on improving one specific tactic at a time rather than trying to change everything at once.

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How should I balance confidence when presenting ideas or recommendations?

Speak accurately about your level of conviction, stating hypotheses as hunches rather than facts, and backing them up with evidence and logic. Avoid both overstating your certainty and diminishing your well-reasoned recommendations.

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How can I anticipate and prepare for objections in meetings?

Use the 'Most Obvious Objection' (MOO) framework by spending a few minutes thinking about the most likely questions or pushback you might receive. This allows you to prepare responses or address concerns proactively.

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What should I do if I don't know the answer to a question in a high-stakes conversation?

Instead of just saying 'I'll get back to you,' try to answer a similar question in the direction you think the person is asking, and then probe to understand the 'question behind the question' to continue the conversation in the moment.

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What is the most impactful way to manage up to my manager?

The most highly leveraged way to manage up is to proactively share your point of view and recommendations, backed by evidence, rather than just asking your manager what to do. This reduces their cognitive load and demonstrates strategic thinking.

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How can I give constructive feedback that actually leads to behavior change?

Adopt a 'strategy, not self-expression' approach. Focus solely on the parts of your feedback that will motivate the other person to change their behavior, trimming any personal frustrations or venting, and ideally getting out any emotional energy before the conversation.

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How can I delegate tasks effectively while maintaining high standards?

Use the CEDAF framework: ensure **C**omprehension of the task, create **E**xcitement by explaining the 'why,' **D**e-risk potential issues, **A**lign with the person by allowing questions, and establish a short **F**eedback loop.

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How can I use AI tools like Claude or ChatGPT to improve my communication?

Use AI as a thought partner for initial drafts, especially for challenging communications like declining requests. Provide clear context and your point of view to get better outputs, and then iterate by editing and asking the AI for improvements on your revised versions.

1. Take Agency for Communication

If you’re not getting the desired reaction from your communication, reflect on how you might be contributing to the confusion or skepticism and how you can explain things more clearly, compellingly, and anticipate questions.

2. Anticipate Most Obvious Objection

Before communicating, spend a few minutes thinking about the ‘Most Obvious Objection’ (MOO) your audience might have; prepare your counter-arguments or proactively address them to avoid being blindsided and strengthen your pitch.

3. Lead with Sales, Then Logistics

Before detailing the ‘how-to’ or logistics of something, first ‘sell’ your audience on the ‘why’ and get them excited and bought into the idea, even if concisely, to avoid slow or no response.

4. Be Concise Through Preparation

Conciseness is about economy of words and density of insight, not just brevity; the most consistent way to achieve it is through preparation, even just a few minutes, to clarify your core point before communicating.

5. Share POV When Managing Up

Reduce your manager’s cognitive load by proactively sharing your point of view and recommendations, backed by observations, rather than just asking ‘what should we do,’ demonstrating strategic thinking.

6. Feedback for Behavior Change

When giving feedback, focus on ‘strategy, not self-expression’; trim emotional venting and only share what will motivate the person to change their behavior, keeping the goal of behavior change in mind.

7. Use CEDAF for Delegation

When delegating, use the CEDAF framework: ensure Comprehension (all info needed), build Excitement (explain why), De-risk (anticipate and mitigate issues), Align (ensure mutual understanding), and establish a fast Feedback loop.

8. Speak with Accurate Confidence

Avoid overstating hypotheses as facts or diminishing strong recommendations; speak accurately about your level of conviction and the evidence you have to prevent problems and ensure responsible decision-making.

9. Practice Like It’s Game Day

Treat every stakeholder as important and practice your best communication behavior consistently, not just with executives, to get enough repetitions and improve your skills across all interactions.

10. Review Written Communication

Take a few extra moments to review your written messages (emails, Slack) for clarity and completeness; a poorly written message can cause significant back-and-forth and waste many people’s time.

11. Avoid ‘Single-Minded Martyr’

When advocating for an idea, avoid being a ‘single-minded martyr’ by considering the broader organizational context and current priorities, and be willing to right-size your proposal or accept that ’not right now’ might be the best decision for the company.

12. Use Signposting

Employ specific words (e.g., ‘for example,’ ‘because,’ ‘as a next step,’ ‘first, second, third’) and structure to guide your audience, signal upcoming information, and grab attention in both written and verbal communication.

13. Frame ‘Why’ Concisely

Briefly remind people why you are discussing something and why it matters (1-2 minutes or a couple of sentences) at the beginning of a conversation or presentation to ensure everyone is on the same page and listening intently.

14. Prepare for Meetings

Before a meeting, take 30 seconds to one minute to ground yourself on why you are there, what you want to share, and what you want to get across, to be more focused and concise during the discussion.

15. State Your Needs Upfront

Clearly articulate what you need from the other person at the beginning of a conversation or presentation, such as ‘what I’m looking for from you is feedback on the changes,’ to set clear expectations.

16. Trim ‘Cog and Float’

When writing, ask yourself how you might be adding unnecessary ‘cog and float’ and actively look for tighter, clearer, and cleaner ways to phrase your questions, information, or recommendations.

17. Use Complete Sentences

Avoid overusing bulleted sentence fragments; instead, use complete sentences to clearly show the logical flow and connective tissue between ideas, ensuring your reader doesn’t have to decipher your meaning.

18. Use Formatting Sparingly

Avoid excessive formatting like bolding too much text, as it negates the purpose of highlighting; use formatting more sparingly than you think necessary to ensure emphasis is effective.

19. Avoid Biased Framing

Present information without biasing data towards your agenda, as people will notice and discount your message if they perceive a clear bias, eroding trust.

20. Address Question Behind Question

If you don’t know an exact answer, instead of just saying ‘I’ll get back to you,’ try to answer a similar question in the direction you think the person is asking, and probe to understand the deeper ‘question behind the question’ to continue the conversation.

21. Reflect Back Questions

When unsure how to respond, reflect back the question to the speaker to clarify understanding and buy yourself time to formulate a thoughtful answer.

22. Speak Up About Problems

As a junior person, leverage your proximity to problems and customer interactions by actively speaking up and sharing your observations and insights with your manager, who may lack that visibility.

23. Vent Before Giving Feedback

Before giving constructive feedback, vent your frustrations to a trusted third party (therapist, partner, friend) to release emotional energy and ensure you approach the conversation grounded and focused on the desired outcome.

24. Create a ‘Swipe File’

Maintain a ‘swipe file’ (e.g., an Apple Notes file) to collect well-articulated phrases, strategic insights, or effective communication examples from others, training yourself to notice what works well and borrow from it.

25. Use AI as Thought Partner

Utilize AI tools like Claude for initial drafts of communications or to brainstorm responses, providing your point of view for better output, and then iterate by asking the AI for improvements on your edits.

26. Expect Longer Timelines

Adopt the motto ’everything takes longer than you think’ and build in buffers for tasks, errands, career development, and project launches to reduce stress and manage expectations effectively.

27. Always Be Selling

Embrace the motto ‘Always Be Selling,’ which means consistently putting forth effort to convincingly present and advocate for your recommendations and ideas to others, not just pawning wares.

28. Craft Work Around Strengths

Intentionally craft your work to focus on your core strengths and the areas where you excel and add significant value, even if it’s a narrow slice, to maximize impact and personal satisfaction.

29. Measure Speed to Reaction

Track how quickly and enthusiastically you get the desired reaction from your audience; if there’s a lot of friction, practice communication skills to speed up the process and reduce back-and-forth.

30. Focus on One Habit

When improving communication, pick one tactic to focus on and practice it in various settings until it becomes a habit, rather than trying to implement too many changes at once and feeling overwhelmed.

If I'm not getting the reaction that I'm looking for, how might I be contributing?

Wes Kao

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

George Bernard Shaw (quoted by Lenny Rachitsky)

The blast radius of a poorly written memo is way bigger than most people think.

Wes Kao

You can't cut to the chase unless you know what the chase is.

Wes Kao

If you've sold them, stop talking.

Lenny Rachitsky

I don't know what I think until I write it down.

Joan Didion (quoted by Lenny Rachitsky)

Everything takes longer than you think.

Wes Kao

Always Be Selling.

Wes Kao

CEDAF Framework for Effective Delegation

Wes Kao
  1. C - Comprehension: Ensure the person has everything they need to understand the task, including logins and understanding the desired end result.
  2. E - Excitement: Explain the 'why' behind the task to make it as exciting as possible, connecting it to career goals or company priorities.
  3. D - De-risk: Anticipate and address obvious risks, such as the person going in the wrong direction or misunderstanding the scope (e.g., have them do a small portion first and regroup).
  4. A - Align: Give the other person a chance to ask questions and ensure mutual understanding and alignment on the task.
  5. F - Feedback: Establish the shortest possible feedback loop, checking in frequently (e.g., after the initial explanation, after a day) to ensure progress and address issues early.