E31: Entrepreneurialism is a Disease
Steven Bartlett explores life's changes and purpose. He shares personal resilience strategies: expressive writing, incremental fear exposure, self-compassion, mindful breathing, and forgiveness. He also offers insights on career ambition and creating one's own life meaning.
Deep Dive Analysis
12 Topic Outline
Impacts of Change and the Search for Purpose
Running a Business: A Daily Heartbreak
Building Resilience: Changing the Narrative Through Expressive Writing
Building Resilience: Facing Fears Incrementally (Exposure Therapy)
Building Resilience: Practicing Self-Compassion
Building Resilience: The Power of Meditation and Mindful Breathing
Building Resilience: Cultivating Forgiveness
Bonus Resilience Point: Embracing Mortality
Rethinking Career Progression: Why a Pay Rise Isn't Always the Answer
The Meaning of Life: Creating Your Own Purpose
Business Updates: Social Chain's Growth, Employee Shares, and Environmental Focus
Personal Updates: Speaking Engagements and Relationships
6 Key Concepts
Dwelling
This refers to the cognitive process of reliving a negative event over and over in one's head, overthinking and rehashing the pain. It's described as a 'cognitive spinning of the wheels' that doesn't lead to healing or growth, but rather keeps individuals stagnated in negative feelings.
Expressive Writing
A practice involving free writing continuously for 20 minutes about a challenging issue, exploring the deepest thoughts and feelings without aiming for a masterpiece. The goal is to release and get thoughts down on paper or vocally, which helps gain new insights and move forward from adversity.
Exposure Therapy
An incremental approach to overcoming fear by slowly and repeatedly exposing oneself to the feared thing in small doses. Over time, this helps change the negative associations with a particular stimulus, reducing the fear response.
Self-Compassion
The practice of offering warmth, kindness, and non-judgmental understanding to oneself when confronting suffering or hard times. It involves recognizing that suffering is part of the human condition and training one's inner voice to be supportive rather than critical.
Mindful Breathing
A micro-meditation technique that involves bringing attention to the physical sensation of breathing – the air moving in and out, and the expansion of the chest. When the mind wanders, attention is actively brought back to the breath, helping to achieve a more present and peaceful state.
I'm Not There Yet Syndrome
A 'disease' built into the human condition, characterized by a constant feeling that one hasn't reached their desired state or level of success. This syndrome can lead to overstretching oneself and potentially diminishing happiness by always striving for more, rather than appreciating current contentment.
8 Questions Answered
One can deal with bad news by changing the narrative through expressive writing, which involves free writing for 20 minutes about the issue to gain new insights and release pent-up emotions, helping to heal quicker and be happier sooner.
An effective strategy is exposure therapy, which involves slowly and repeatedly exposing oneself to the thing that scares them most in small, incremental doses. This practice helps to change the associations one has with the feared stimulus, building confidence over time.
Cultivating self-compassion involves three steps: first, admitting one's suffering; second, remembering that suffering is a universal part of the human condition; and third, being kind to oneself about the suffering, accepting oneself, being patient, and recalling past resilience.
Mindful breathing, a form of micro-meditation, helps by bringing attention to the physical sensation of breathing, allowing one to pause and find peace in the present moment. Studies show it can reduce negative emotions when faced with disturbing stimuli, acting as a defense mechanism for emotional resilience.
Forgiveness is crucial because it allows one to let go of resentment and ill will, not for the sake of the offender, but for one's own well-being. It's described as freeing oneself from being a 'prisoner' of past wrongs, leading to more empathy, positive emotions, and a regained sense of control.
Embracing mortality by realizing that 'you're going to die' helps put day-to-day 'bullshit' into perspective, making it seem less important. This perspective allows for strategic detachment from minor issues, reminding individuals what truly matters, like family and loved ones.
A pay rise or promotion often comes with increased responsibility, stress, and less personal time, which can actually diminish happiness for some individuals. Society's narrative often pushes for continuous professional ascent, but honest self-reflection might reveal that one is already content and that more progression could be detrimental to mental health and relationships.
The speaker believes there is no shared, predetermined, or supernatural meaning to life. Instead, the meaning of life is that which each individual gives it, emphasizing the importance of creating one's own purpose and living simply and in the moment.
11 Actionable Insights
1. Create Your Own Life’s Meaning
Recognize that life may not have a predetermined, supernatural purpose, and instead, actively strive to create your own purpose or purposes. Simplify your life to stay in touch with fundamental feelings, become calmer, and feel more fulfilled.
2. Embrace Mortality for Perspective
Strategically detach yourself from day-to-day ‘bullshit’ by embracing the realization of your own mortality. This perspective helps you understand what truly matters, like family and loved ones, and prevents overestimating the importance of trivial issues.
3. Cultivate Forgiveness
Commit to forgiving people or situations that have wronged you, not to reconcile or let them off the hook, but to release yourself from resentment and ill will. Practice compassionate forgiveness by actively thinking kindly towards the offender, acknowledging their humanity and struggles, to remove the burden from your shoulders.
4. Cultivate Self-Compassion
Train the voice in your head to be a supportive best friend by admitting your suffering, remembering that all humans experience pain, and being kind to yourself without judgment. This practice, offering warmth and kindness to yourself, can lead to lower depression, anxiety, and stress.
5. Prioritize Peace Over Promotion
Question the societal narrative that higher status or more money automatically leads to happiness, as overstretching yourself with more responsibility and stress can diminish your peace. Honestly self-reflect on what you truly value in life, such as mental health, social life, and relationships, and act accordingly rather than blindly pursuing progression.
6. Develop Resilience for Leadership
Recognize that resilience is a crucial trait for leaders and ambitious individuals, as success often correlates with the amount of ‘bullshit’ one is willing to endure. Understand that resilience is sculpted by experience, not an innate quality, and can be developed over time.
7. Overcome Fear Incrementally
Confront your fears by slowly and repeatedly exposing yourself to the thing that scares you in small, manageable doses. Gradually increase the challenge over time to build confidence and change negative associations with the stimulus, helping you to tackle bigger challenges.
8. Practice Expressive Writing
Engage in free writing continuously for 20 minutes about a challenging issue, exploring your deepest thoughts and feelings without aiming for a masterpiece. This cathartic release helps you gain new insights, process pain, and heal quicker from adverse events.
9. Practice Mindful Breathing
Bring attention to the physical sensation of your breathing for short periods, such as 20 seconds, by taking deep breaths through your nose and out of your mouth. This micro-meditation helps you find peace in the present moment, deal with negative emotions as they arise, and protect your emotional state.
10. Process Trauma Directly
Avoid compartmentalizing trauma or bad experiences, as suppressing these issues will cause them to resurface at inconvenient times. Instead, engage in healthy ways to move through adversity, such as expressive writing, to cope quicker and prevent emotional buildup.
11. Regularly Connect with Parents
Make a routine of calling your parents every weekend, as this simple act means a great deal to them and helps maintain a valuable relationship. Do not wait for bad news to prioritize staying in touch, as parents are not eternal.
6 Key Quotes
Running a business is like having your heart broken every single day.
Steven Bartlett
Ultimately we're all paid in line with the amount of bullshit that we're willing to put up with.
Steven Bartlett
Forgiveness is letting a prisoner go and realizing that you were the prisoner the whole time.
Steven Bartlett
Success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success.
Steven Bartlett
Just because you can ask the question does not mean there is a valid answer for example what number is orange.
Steven Bartlett
If you ever fall into the trap of thinking that your business has been built by just you then not only are you an asshole but you are at serious risk of going backwards because you aren't acknowledging what got you there.
Steven Bartlett
2 Protocols
Developing Self-Compassion
Steven Bartlett- Admit your feelings to yourself, acknowledging the moment of suffering, stress, or pain.
- Remember that you are not alone in your suffering; remind yourself that it is a part of life and everyone struggles.
- Be kind to yourself about your suffering by accepting yourself as you are, being patient, and reflecting on past instances where you overcame hardship.
Compassionate Forgiveness Method
Steven Bartlett- Actively think compassionately towards the offender or situation, recognizing them as a human being who makes mistakes, has room for growth, and may be going through their own struggles.
- Make a commitment to forgive them or the situation, letting go of resentment or ill will.
- Understand that this act of forgiveness is for your own sake, to release the burden and regain a sense of control and security, not necessarily to reconcile with the offender.