Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be
This episode features Dr. Jordan Peterson, who discusses the importance of truth, authenticity, and personal responsibility. He shares actionable strategies for self-improvement, career advancement, and navigating relationships, emphasizing the pursuit of meaning over happiness.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
The Importance of Truth and Authenticity in Life
Persona vs. Authenticity: Jung's Perspective
Strategies for Navigating Career Stagnation and Negotiation
A Practical Exercise for Building Self-Awareness
Understanding Privilege, Existential Guilt, and Virtue
The Value of Struggle and Pursuing Meaning Beyond Happiness
Critique of Remote Working and Virtual Environments
Balancing Virtual Engagement with Embodied Life
Unintended Consequences of Technology and Pandemic Response
Critique of COVID Policy and Political Decision-Making
Political Temperaments, Free Speech, and Societal Dialogue
Encouraging Others Through Honest Listening and Questioning
The Nature of Happiness vs. Meaningful Living
Jordan Peterson's Motivation: The Pursuit of Truth
7 Key Concepts
Persona
According to Carl Jung, a persona is a functional shell or avatar of oneself, necessary for mediating casual social encounters. However, problems arise when this artificial front becomes the entirety of one's identity, leading to a desperate and unhappy existence disconnected from true underlying reality.
Thrownness
This Heideggerian term refers to the existential experience of being arbitrarily 'tossed' into life with unchosen attributes, such as gender, cultural background, talents, and limitations. Some of these attributes confer unearned privilege, which comes with a dose of existential guilt.
Existential Guilt
This arises from the recognition of one's unearned privileges and the historical atrocities that form the foundation of human existence. Atonement for this guilt is achieved by striving to live the best possible life, speaking the truth, treating others with respect, and putting one's own 'house in order.'
Gold Medal Depression
This phenomenon occurs when Olympians achieve their ultimate goal, only to experience emptiness and dread due to a loss of orientation. It illustrates that humans are fundamentally built to strive and derive value from the uphill climb towards ever-receding goals, rather than from static attainment.
Reciprocal Altruism
This technical term describes a balanced and often unexplicitly negotiated exchange of mutual obligations and favors within a relationship. It involves individuals tracking and fulfilling their commitments to each other, leading to peaceful and functional interactions.
Alienation (Marxist Concept)
Marx's concept of alienation describes how repetitive, mechanistic factory work can estrange individuals from the products of their effort, destroying their artisanal relationship with what they produce. While efficient for poverty reduction, technology can also alienate due to its artificial and mechanistic nature.
Free Speech (as 'the right')
Free speech is presented not merely as another right, but as the fundamental right. It is essential because no one possesses ultimate knowledge, and a continually changing future necessitates constant dialogue between people of different temperaments to chart a wise course forward.
10 Questions Answered
To build self-awareness, one should sit alone and honestly ask, 'What's one thing I'm doing wrong that I know I'm doing wrong, that I could fix, that I would fix?' Meditating on this question will yield a necessary answer, often pointing to small, tangible improvements.
Living behind a persona, especially one crafted for social media, can lead to a lack of true connection and meaning in life. The individual may become desperate and unhappy because their actions and relationships do not reflect their authentic self.
To improve one's position, first, get your resume/CV in order and address any perceived inadequacies. Then, apply for other jobs to understand market opportunities and build leverage. Finally, approach your current boss with a clear evaluation of problems and a proposal for advancement, backed by your explored alternatives.
One pays for unearned privilege through virtue, by striving to live the best possible life. This involves speaking the truth, treating others with respect, upholding the dignity of the individual, and putting one's own 'house in order.'
Humans are fundamentally built to strive and derive value from the 'uphill climb' towards challenging goals. Aiming for an ever-receding, transcendent goal provides continuous meaning and self-improvement, which is considered more profound and fulfilling than the fleeting nature of mere happiness.
Virtualization struggles to replicate the complex, embodied environments crucial for human development, such as the social and identity-forming aspects of university life. It risks excluding vital formative experiences that are not conceptually understood or easily replicated online.
The pandemic highlighted humanity's naivety in the face of existential challenges and our tendency to imitate totalitarian societies in response. It suggests a critical need to evaluate whether our reactions and policies caused more death and misery than the virus itself.
Politicians should not abdicate their responsibilities to 'domain experts' by simply saying 'follow the science.' Instead, politics requires analyzing the entire situation and charting a course forward, considering all factors, rather than devolving decision-making to specialized fields like public health.
The best way to encourage someone is to listen genuinely and ask honest questions without a manipulative agenda. This approach allows the person to untangle their own thoughts and discover their path, rather than being led or stifled by external advice.
A better question to ask is 'How are you doing?' because life encompasses both brilliant and terrible aspects. Profound experiences, like deep music, are not merely happy but often involve awe and horror, leading to a deeper sense of meaning that transcends simple happiness.
24 Actionable Insights
1. Practice Daily Self-Correction
Each night, honestly ask yourself one thing you’re doing wrong that you know you could and would fix, then meditate on the answer to gain self-awareness and identify necessary changes.
2. Start with Micro-Improvements
Begin improving your life by addressing small, tangible things that are wrong, like organizing your immediate environment, as these micro-improvements lead to rapid overall progress.
3. Aim for Your Ideal Self
Imagine the best version of yourself and then single-mindedly direct your efforts towards becoming that person, providing a clear vision and purpose for your life.
4. Pursue a Transcendent Goal
Seek a goal that you can never fully attain, allowing for continuous uphill striving and personal development, as this ongoing pursuit is where true value and meaning are derived.
5. Commit to Your True Self
Cultivate authenticity by speaking and being your truth in all facets of life, especially in relationships, as genuine connection is difficult to achieve when wearing a mask or acting out a persona.
6. Form a Functional Persona
Develop a functional social shell to mediate interactions in casual encounters, but ensure it doesn’t become your entire identity, allowing for genuine connection beneath the surface.
7. Maximize Your Negotiating Position
In any challenging situation, especially when feeling trapped, do everything possible to put yourself in the most virtuous and powerful negotiating position by understanding details and being prepared to act strategically.
8. Strategize Career Advancement
If dissatisfied with your job, meticulously analyze the specific problems, articulate your value, update your resume, proactively address any gaps, explore other job opportunities, and then negotiate with your boss from a position of strength.
9. Avoid Deceit to Preserve Wisdom
Refrain from polluting your thoughts and actions with deceit, as lying warps your internal mechanism for orienting yourself in the world and compromises your ability to make wise decisions.
10. Incorporate Daily Wellness Practices
Start your day with flexibility and breathing exercises, such as those from Kundalini yoga, to reduce anxiety and improve overall well-being.
11. Dedicate Mornings to Creative Work
Reserve the early hours for focused writing or artistic projects, followed by a walk and breakfast, before engaging with the connected virtual world.
12. Balance Digital and Private Time
Consciously manage your engagement with technology and the virtual world by balancing periods of connection with introverted privacy and disconnection, especially from everyone except your intimate partner.
13. Integrate Culture and Relationships
Ensure your life includes not just projects and entertainment, but also genuine culture (beauty, drama, art) and intimate relationships and friendships, as these are vital for a rich and balanced existence.
14. Avoid Presuming Best for Others
When trying to help someone, disabuse yourself of the notion that you know what is best for them, as this responsibility is not yours and can hinder their personal growth.
15. Prioritize Listening Over Advice
The most effective way to help someone is not by giving advice, but by genuinely listening to them, allowing them to untangle their own thoughts and problems.
16. Ask Genuine Questions
When interacting with others, especially those you want to help, ask honest, real questions to understand their perspective, rather than leading them towards a predetermined answer.
17. Clarify Preconditions for Satisfaction
In arguments with loved ones, ask what specific words or actions would satisfy them, encouraging them to articulate their needs and facilitating resolution.
18. Seek Specifics for Reconciliation
If someone expresses what would satisfy them in an argument, even if you feel awkward, commit to uttering those words or performing those actions as a good-faith demonstration of your commitment to peace.
19. Atone for Privilege with Virtue
Acknowledge any unearned privileges you possess and atone for them by striving to live the best possible life, speaking the truth, treating people with respect, upholding individual dignity, and putting your own house in order.
20. Aim for Goodness, Not Happiness
Instead of making happiness your primary goal, aim to be good and virtuous, and consider happiness a grateful gift that may come unexpectedly during that pursuit.
21. Ask “How Are You Doing?”
When checking in on someone, especially if you want a genuine response, ask “How are you doing?” instead of “Are you happy?”, as it allows for a broader and more honest expression of their state.
22. Speak Truthfully and Accept Consequences
Believe that truth will ultimately save the world, so speak truthfully, observe the outcomes, and accept the consequences, trusting that this path is ultimately beneficial.
23. Engage in Free Dialogue
Participate in continuous, free dialogue with people of diverse temperaments and perspectives to collectively navigate a changing future, as no single person or group holds all the answers.
24. Focus on Individual Solutions
Recognize that the most serious problems often find their right solutions at the level of the individual, rather than through top-down political mandates.
8 Key Quotes
What's one thing I'm doing wrong that I know I'm doing wrong, that I could fix, that I would fix? You meditate on that, you'll get an answer. And it won't be one you want, but it'll be the necessary one.
Jordan Peterson
The way you pay for your privilege is with your virtue.
Jordan Peterson
We're built to walk uphill and when you reach the pinnacle of the hill, you want to stop and appreciate the vision. But the next thing you want is a higher hill in the distance because it's the uphill climb that it's from the uphill climb that we derive our value.
Jordan Peterson
I believe that we will conclude that our response to the pandemic caused more death and misery than the pandemic itself.
Jordan Peterson
Politics is not public health. That's medicine. Politics is the art of analyzing the entire situation and charting a course forward, all things considered and for politicians to trot out the experts and say, follow the science just means that they've abdicated their own responsibilities.
Jordan Peterson
Free speech is so necessary. It's not another right. It's the right.
Jordan Peterson
I aim to be good and pray for happiness.
Jordan Peterson
I believe that truth will save the world.
Jordan Peterson
4 Protocols
Protocol for Self-Awareness and Micro-Improvements
Jordan Peterson- Sit on your bed one night and honestly ask yourself, 'What's one thing I'm doing wrong that I know I'm doing wrong, that I could fix, that I would fix?'
- Meditate on this question, acknowledging that the answer may not be what you want but will be necessary.
- Identify a small, tangible thing to fix, such as organizing your messy room or cleaning a specific area.
- Begin making these micro-improvements in your immediate environment to foster rapid personal growth.
Protocol for Navigating Career Stagnation and Seeking Advancement
Jordan Peterson- Differentiate and analyze your current job situation in detail, identifying specific problems like repetitive work, poor relationships with superiors, or issues with co-workers.
- Update your resume or CV, addressing any perceived holes or inadequacies truthfully, and prepare a credible plan for rectification (e.g., taking online courses) if needed.
- Apply for approximately 10 other jobs to explore opportunities, secure interviews, and potentially receive job offers, building a stronger negotiating position.
- Approach your current boss with a clear evaluation of the problems, what you could offer with improved compensation (e.g., a 40% raise) and a progression plan, and mention that you have explored other opportunities.
- If your boss responds with contempt or disinterest, seriously consider finding a new job, as this indicates a potentially unamenable work environment.
Protocol for Encouraging a Loved One
Jordan Peterson- Disabuse yourself of the notion that you know what is best for the person; do not take on that responsibility.
- Ask honest, real questions about how they are feeling and what is going on, without trying to lead them in a particular direction.
- Listen attentively to their answers, allowing them to untangle their own thoughts and express what they need to say.
- In an argument, ask 'What are your preconditions for satisfaction?' or 'What would I have to say or do that would, in principle, satisfy you?'
- If they specify an apology or action, ask for the exact words or steps, and perform them, even if inelegantly, as a good faith demonstration of commitment to resolution.
Jordan Peterson's Daily Routine for Balancing Virtual and Embodied Life
Jordan Peterson- Wake up and perform a series of Kundalini yoga-based flexibility and breathing exercises to reduce anxiety.
- Reserve a couple of hours in the morning for writing or working on artistic projects.
- Take a walk or have breakfast with his wife, engaging in personal, disconnected activities.
- After these private activities, turn to the 'connected world' of email, podcasts, and other virtual engagements.