Moment 116 - The ONE Type Of Trauma You Cannot Heal From: Professor Steven Peters
This episode explores the profound impact of early childhood trauma on brain development and lifelong emotional responses. It distinguishes between "gremlins" (processable issues) and "goblins" (irreparable circuit damage), advocating for acceptance and management of deep-seated traumas rather than striving for complete eradication.
Deep Dive Analysis
8 Topic Outline
The Role of Early Childhood Trauma
Individual Differences in Trauma Response and Interpretation
Emotional Memory Development from Fetal Life
Distinguishing Between Gremlins and Goblins in Trauma
Strategies for Accepting and Managing Unchangeable Traumas (Goblins)
Impact of Unchangeable Traumas on Therapists and Relationships
Brain Development and the Age of Trauma Formation
The Brain's Self-Repair and the Role of Time in Grief
5 Key Concepts
Child's Definition of Trauma
A traumatic event is defined by the child's subjective experience and the significant impact it has on their developing brain circuits, rather than an objective adult assessment of the event's severity. This means an event like a favorite sweet being stolen could be traumatic for one child but not another.
Emotional Memory
This form of memory begins working in fetal life, even before birth, and starts to process and react to trauma. It develops approximately three years before the 'human circuit' for conscious memory, which is why people typically have no memories from before the age of two or three.
Gremlins (Trauma)
In Professor Peters' terminology, a gremlin represents a belief or an experience that an individual can process, work through, and ultimately get rid of. These are aspects of trauma that are amenable to change and resolution through various interventions.
Goblins (Trauma)
Goblins are beliefs or experiences that have caused significant, often irreparable, damage to the brain's circuits, making them too difficult or impossible to remove entirely. The approach to goblins shifts from trying to eradicate them to accepting their presence and learning effective management strategies.
Pathological Grief
This occurs when the brain's natural process of healing after a loss becomes stuck, often due to underlying belief systems within the individual's 'computer' (mind). In such cases, clinical intervention is often required to help the person process their grief.
6 Questions Answered
Early childhood trauma can have lifelong repercussions because the brain's circuits are still developing, and significant traumatic events can damage these circuits, leading to lasting impacts on how a person perceives and responds to situations.
No, a traumatic event is defined by what the child perceives as traumatic and the significant emotional impact it has on them at that moment, rather than an adult's objective assessment of its severity.
Emotional memory begins in fetal life, but the 'human circuit' for conscious, recallable memory doesn't fully develop until approximately three years of age, which explains why most people have no memories from before this period.
No, some deeper, earlier traumas, referred to as 'goblins,' may have caused irreparable damage to brain circuits and cannot be completely erased. For these, the focus shifts from eradication to acceptance and learning to manage their impact.
The brain continues developing up to around age 30, with the rationality centers maturing between 25 and 30, and in some men, up to about 32. After this point, the brain's fundamental structure is largely 'finished,' and individuals may need to accept and manage their system as it is.
The duration of grief is highly individual, with no single 'normal.' While intense grief might last around three months and still be significant at 12 months, for some, the process can take up to 10 years, as the brain requires its own time to process such experiences.
5 Actionable Insights
1. Accept Irreparable Emotional Damage
Recognize that some deep, early traumas (“goblins”) may have permanently damaged brain circuits and cannot be fully eradicated. Instead of trying to change them, focus on managing their impact when they arise.
2. Manage Persistent Negative Beliefs
For persistent negative beliefs or low self-esteem stemming from deep-seated issues, accept their potential to reappear. Learn how to “put them in a box” to stop them from having an impact on your life today, rather than trying to remove them entirely.
3. Support Loved Ones Realistically
If a loved one struggles with issues potentially rooted in irreparably damaged brain circuitry, shift from trying to change them to helping them manage their system. This approach prevents damaging the relationship through unrealistic expectations.
4. Allow Brain Time for Healing
Understand that the brain requires time to process and repair emotional scars, especially after significant losses or changes. Allow the brain its own timeline for healing, as there is no single “normal” grief period.
5. Recognize Early Trauma’s Lifelong Impact
Be aware that traumatic events, defined by the child’s perception rather than adult standards, can damage developing brain circuits from fetal life up to around age 30, shaping lifelong emotional responses and perceptions.
4 Key Quotes
gremlin is a belief or an an experience you can process and actually get rid of whereas a goblin is something which is really damaged the circuits.
Professor Steve Peters
We can take down gremlins, gremlins but we can't goblins, you have to accept.
Professor Steve Peters
Let me manage my system instead of trying to make my system do something it can't do.
Professor Steve Peters
Don't beat yourself up if you're struggling with someone, it may be you are hitting the nail on the head but exactly what you've just said, we're not going to move this person so stop worrying about it and say let's try managing it first.
Professor Steve Peters
1 Protocols
Managing Goblins (Unchangeable Traumas)
Professor Steve Peters- Accept that the problematic beliefs or experiences (goblins) will always appear.
- Develop a way of dealing with them when they arise.
- Learn how to put them 'in a box' to prevent them from having an impact on your life today.
- Work forward from this managed state, rather than trying to eradicate them.