Moment 119: How To Figure Out ANYTHING In Your Life: Marie Forleo
This episode explores the "figureoutable mindset" with three rules for approaching problems and dreams. It emphasizes the importance of honest self-assessment regarding true desire versus "wanting to want" something, and how our use of time reveals our actual priorities.
Deep Dive Analysis
7 Topic Outline
Introduction to the Figureoutable Mindset Rules
Rule 1: All Problems or Dreams Are Figureoutable
Rule 2: Unfigureoutable Problems Are Laws of Nature
Rule 3: Not Caring Enough About a Goal is Acceptable
The Concept of 'Wanting to Want Something'
Time Usage as a Reflection of Priorities
Distinguishing Between 'Can't' and 'Won't'
3 Key Concepts
Figureoutable Mindset
This mindset is underpinned by three rules: acknowledging that all problems or dreams can be solved, recognizing that some things are unchangeable laws of nature, and accepting that it's okay not to care enough about a particular goal, prompting one to find a different, more meaningful pursuit.
Wanting to Want Something
This phenomenon describes when an individual desires the motivation or the identity associated with pursuing a goal, rather than genuinely desiring the goal itself. It leads to setting goals one feels they 'should' want, but for which they lack true internal drive.
Can't vs. Won't Distinction
This is a tool for self-honesty, where the word 'can't' is often a euphemism for 'won't,' meaning a person is unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices or that the task is not a priority. Recognizing this difference helps clarify true intentions and priorities.
4 Questions Answered
The three rules are: all problems or dreams are figureoutable; if a problem or dream isn't figureoutable, it's a law of nature; and it's okay if you don't care enough to solve a particular dream or reach a goal, so find something you do care about.
Often, people fail because they don't genuinely want the goal; instead, they 'want to want' it, meaning they desire the motivation or the identity associated with the goal, but not the effort required.
One way is to recognize that 'I don't have the time' is often a cloaking of true priorities, as how one uses their time is a clear demonstration of their actual values.
The distinction is that 'can't' is often a euphemism for 'won't,' meaning 'we really don't want to' or 'we're not willing to make the sacrifice.' Recognizing this helps people be more honest and freeing about their choices and priorities.
5 Actionable Insights
1. Assess True Desire for Goals
Before pursuing any goal, honestly ask if you genuinely want it or if you merely “want to want” it, as external pressures often lead to pursuing things you don’t truly care about. This prevents wasted effort and self-blame for lack of motivation.
2. Replace ‘Can’t’ with ‘Won’t’
When you find yourself saying “I can’t” do something, replace it with “I won’t” or “That’s not a priority for me right now” to reveal your true priorities and motivations. This fosters honesty and frees you from self-judgment.
3. Time Use Reveals Priorities
Recognize that how you allocate your time is a direct reflection of your actual priorities and values, not merely a lack of available hours. This helps identify what you truly value versus what you claim to value.
4. Release Uncared-For Goals
If you discover you don’t deeply care about a particular dream or goal, it’s okay to let it go and redirect your energy towards something you genuinely desire. This prevents feeling unmotivated or like a failure.
5. Adopt a Figureoutable Mindset
Believe that most problems or dreams are solvable, and if something isn’t, it’s a law of nature (like death or taxes). This framework encourages proactive problem-solving and honest self-assessment of commitment.
5 Key Quotes
You may not care enough to solve a particular dream or reach a particular goal and that's okay, find something that you do care deeply about and go back to rule number one.
Marie Forleo
99% of the time when we human beings say can't it's a euphemism for won't.
Marie Forleo
We want to want something.
Steven
All problems or dreams are figureoutable.
Marie Forleo
If a problem or a dream isn't figureoutable, it's a law of nature.
Marie Forleo
1 Protocols
Marie Forleo's Three Rules for a Figureoutable Mindset
Marie Forleo- All problems or dreams are figureoutable.
- If a problem or a dream isn't figureoutable, it's a law of nature (e.g., death, taxes).
- If you don't care enough to solve a particular dream or reach a particular goal, that's okay; find something you do care deeply about and go back to rule number one.