Moment 127: How To Build Unbreakable Confidence By Making This ONE Promise To Yourself: Chris Williamson
The episode discusses how to build confidence by focusing on action over positive thinking. It emphasizes the importance of keeping small promises to oneself and taking tiny, consistent steps to create undeniable evidence of capability, rather than relying on idealism or mere learning.
Deep Dive Analysis
9 Topic Outline
Critique of Traditional Confidence-Building Methods
Leading with Action to Build Confidence
The Role of Pride in Self-Improvement
Importance of Keeping Small Promises to Yourself
Understanding Identity Lag and Its Impact
The Pitfall of Learning Without Application
Designing the First Step for Sustained Motivation
Compounding Effect of Small, Consistent Actions
Personal Journey of Building Virtuous Habits
4 Key Concepts
Evidence-based confidence
Confidence is built on a stack of undeniable proof from past actions, rather than positive thinking alone. Negative experiences, like public embarrassment, can create thicker, harder-to-strip layers of evidence that are difficult to overcome with mere affirmations.
Identity lag
This concept, attributed to Mark Manson, suggests that a person's sense of identity or self-perception typically lags behind their actual status or achievements by approximately one to two years. This means you might not immediately feel like the person your actions indicate you are.
Learning as masturbation
This describes the act of consuming intellectual content or learning about something without applying it in real life. It's a form of self-gratification that provides the illusion of progress but doesn't lead to actual behavioral change or practical results.
Does this grow corn?
This is a practical test for evaluating the usefulness of a concept or piece of information. It asks whether the idea is actionable, provides tangible benefits, and can be directly applied to one's life to produce real-world results, much like growing corn provides sustenance.
5 Questions Answered
You must lead with action, as your ability to discount positive thoughts will be too strong if you're chronically unconfident. Start with small, achievable actions that build undeniable proof of your capabilities.
Habits are difficult to break, especially the habit of inaction. Many people fall into the trap of 'learning as masturbation,' believing that understanding a concept is the same as applying it, which prevents real behavioral change.
Start with incredibly small, easy promises to yourself that you will never break. The first step should be so tiny that you cannot say no to it, allowing you to build trust with yourself and compound small wins over time.
Your sense of identity often lags behind your actual status or accomplishments by about one to two years, meaning you might not immediately feel like the person your actions suggest you are.
Apply the 'does this grow corn?' test: ask if the concept is practical, actionable, and provides a clear way to use it in your life to achieve tangible results.
6 Actionable Insights
1. Lead with Action to Build Confidence
Initiate action first instead of relying on positive self-talk, especially if you struggle with insufficiency, because a set point of negativity can easily crush good thoughts.
2. Build Self-Trust with Small Wins
Consistently keep small promises to yourself, starting with steps so tiny you can’t say no, because this builds undeniable evidence and trust in your own word, which is crucial for confidence.
3. Define Weekly Pride-Worthy Actions
Reflect on what specific actions would make you feel proud of your week, then take those actions, as having pride in your performance and how you show up is valuable.
4. Prioritize Action Over Mere Learning
Recognize that learning about concepts is not the same as enacting them; true change requires taking action, not just accumulating knowledge, to avoid ’learning as masturbation'.
5. Evaluate Advice for Practical Utility
When encountering new ideas or advice, ask ‘Does this grow corn?’ or ‘How can I use this in my life?’ to ensure it’s genuinely useful and applicable to your behavior.
6. Adopt a Long-Term View for Habits
Understand that building lasting habits and routines is a long game, where very tiny, consistent steps compound significantly over an extended time horizon, rather than aiming for immediate perfection.
7 Key Quotes
It's all evidence for better or for worse, stack of undeniable proof.
Chris Williamson
Your set point of negativity is going to just crush that into the ground.
Chris Williamson
Pride is something that everybody misses, that having pride in your name, your performance, uh the way that you show up for other people is something that you can do but you need to do something that is worthy of being prideful about.
David Goggins (quoted by Chris Williamson)
True hell is when the person that you are meets the person that you could have been.
Chris Williamson
Learning as masturbation, uh and believing that learning about something is the same as enacting it and it's not.
Chris Williamson
Does this grow corn?
Chris Williamson (quoting a friend)
The goal isn't to have the perfect daily routine tomorrow, the goal is to still be winning your daily routine in 50 years time.
Chris Williamson
1 Protocols
Building Confidence Through Action
Chris Williamson- Lead with action, not positive thinking, especially if you deal with a crippling sense of insufficiency.
- Identify what would have had to happen in a week's time for you to look back with pride.
- Stop breaking promises to yourself, even small ones (e.g., wake up at 7 AM, don't hit the snooze button).
- Start with an incredibly small step, making it so small that you cannot say no to it.
- Make small, easy promises to yourself that you will never break (e.g., write one blog post per week for three weeks).
- Keep making small, incremental steps, expanding out from the initial win.
- Expand your time horizon sufficiently to realize that very tiny steps can compound over the long term.