Moment 170: The Scientific Method For Unstoppable Confidence: Professor Steve Peters

Jul 12, 2024
Overview

A doctor discusses addressing low self-esteem and maladaptive coping strategies by first ruling out mental illness. He introduces a model of the "human system" versus interfering "chimp" and "computer" systems, emphasizing defining one's ideal self.

At a Glance
6 Insights
9m 36s Duration
7 Topics
5 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Addressing Low Self-Esteem and Maladaptive Coping

Initial Assessment: Ruling Out Underlying Conditions

Defining Your Ideal Self: The Starting Point

Understanding the 'Real You' vs. System Interference

The Role of the Chimp and Computer Systems

Validating the True Self: Beyond Deception

Distinguishing Natural Behaviors from Helpful Ones

Maladaptive Coping Strategies

These are behaviors like overeating, entering abusive relationships, or impulsive actions that people engage in, often unconsciously, as a way to deal with low self-esteem or other emotional pain, sometimes even as a form of self-punishment.

The Human System

This refers to the core, authentic self of an individual, which inherently desires and chooses positive traits like calmness, confidence, and happiness, and is capable of rational thought. It represents who you truly are without interference.

The Chimp System

A part of the mind that interferes with the human system, often leading to impulsive, emotional, or irrational behaviors. These actions are natural responses but may not align with the individual's desired self.

The Computer System

Another part of the mind that interferes with the human system, operating based on programmed responses and habits. These automated behaviors can also lead to actions that are not aligned with the individual's true self.

Psychopathy (Neuroscientific View)

From a neuroscientific perspective, this condition is characterized by certain brain tracks not being fully developed or functional, resulting in a lack of empathy, remorse, and conscience, which can lead to deceptive behavior.

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Where should one start when trying to overcome low self-esteem?

The first step is to rule out underlying medical conditions like depression. Once that's clear, the key is to define who you truly want to be, separate from current negative experiences or maladaptive coping strategies.

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How can I identify my 'real self' when I'm struggling with negative behaviors and feelings?

Your 'real self' (the human system) is the person you inherently want to be – calm, confident, happy. The negative behaviors and feelings are often interference from other parts of your mind, like the 'chimp' or 'computer' systems, not your true essence.

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What is the difference between 'natural' behavior and 'good' behavior?

All behaviors originating from the 'chimp' system are natural, even those that are harmful or illegal. However, natural does not equate to good or helpful; for example, overeating can be natural but is not beneficial for health.

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How does a psychologist differentiate between genuine self-definition and deception?

A psychologist will look at evidence, remorse, whether someone compensates for mistakes, and their past life events to tease out if the person is genuinely defining themselves or if there's an underlying issue like psychopathy.

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Why do I engage in behaviors that seem to punish me, like overeating when I have low self-esteem?

These are often maladaptive coping strategies, where you unconsciously punish yourself because you believe you don't deserve to treat yourself well or experience happiness due to your low self-esteem.

1. Seek Professional Medical Assessment

If experiencing symptoms like low self-esteem, ensure your mind is not ill (e.g., depression) by consulting a doctor. This is the critical first step to rule out underlying conditions that require treatment.

2. Define Your Ideal Self

Get a blank piece of paper and write down who you want to be and what behaviors you want to have, focusing on your desired state rather than current problems. This process helps define your true self and can immediately boost self-esteem.

3. Differentiate True Self from Interference

Recognize that your desired characteristics (e.g., calm, confident) represent your true “human system,” while anxiety or negative behaviors are interferences from the “chimp” or “computer” systems. Understanding this distinction helps realize that your outward presentation is not always your authentic self.

4. Recognize Natural Machine Behaviors

Understand that actions of the “chimp” system, even unhelpful ones like overeating or people-pleasing, are natural, not necessarily personal flaws. This reframing prevents you from confusing yourself with the machine’s automatic responses, which can otherwise be seen as weaknesses.

5. Explore Roots of Low Self-Esteem

After defining your true self and understanding the machine’s role, investigate why you developed low self-esteem. Recognizing its origins can help in unpicking these patterns and understanding them as natural but unhelpful.

6. Express Difficult Emotions

If you are not yet in a place to define your ideal self, allow yourself to express all your feelings and get them off your chest. This initial step is important for emotional release and can precede deeper self-exploration.

You're almost punishing yourself, you know, I don't deserve to to eat well and I don't deserve to eat the right things so I deserve to be overweight or I deserve to look like this.

Professor Steve Peters

If we remove the chimp and computer system then you're completely in control of yourself so you would choose to be calm you would choose to be confident so therefore that's you the human system.

Professor Steve Peters

When I'm presenting to the world is interference, it's not me.

Professor Steve Peters

Anything the chimp does, anything it does is natural. There's nothing you're going to give me even if it murders someone that's what chimps do, they're violent.

Professor Steve Peters

Natural isn't always good.

Professor Steve Peters

Defining Your True Self to Combat Low Self-Esteem

Professor Steve Peters
  1. Ensure your mind is not ill (e.g., rule out depression).
  2. Acknowledge any maladaptive coping strategies you are currently using.
  3. Get a blank piece of paper.
  4. Write down 'who you want to be' and 'what behaviors you want to have,' focusing on positive aspirations rather than current negative experiences.
  5. Recognize that the person you describe is your authentic 'human system,' and any current negative presentation is interference from other mental systems.