Moment 27 - How To Become The Person You Want To Be: Prof. Steve Peters
This episode explores the mind's "human" (rational) and "chimp" (emotional) circuits, explaining how they influence self-image, values, and behavior. It provides a method to identify your true character traits and manage the chimp's interference.
Deep Dive Analysis
7 Topic Outline
Understanding the Mind's Dual Circuitry: Human vs. Chimp
Distinguishing True Drives from External Influences
The Chimp's Inbuilt Need for Approval
Identifying Personal Character Traits and Intentions
The Reality of Your Intrinsic Self and Chimp Interference
Responsibility for Managing the Chimp's Behavior
Individual Differences in Ideal Self-Perception
5 Key Concepts
Human Circuits
This circuitry is rational, logical, and focused on facts. It represents your desired self-image and character traits, such as being compassionate or trustworthy, and is the part of you that intends to act in alignment with these values.
Chimp Circuits
This circuitry is emotionally based and primitive, generating thoughts and reactions that are often driven by feelings rather than reality. It can interfere with your human circuits, leading to actions that contradict your true intentions, and has an inbuilt need for approval to avoid exclusion.
True Drives
These are compulsive driving forces within us, such as the need to eat, have security, or be a parent. They are distinct from behaviors attached to external desires, like gaining approval or achieving material possessions, which are often influenced by the chimp circuits.
The Computer System
This system acts as a backup to both the human and chimp circuits, imposing other influences that can affect how your true self presents to the world. It works in conjunction with the chimp to sometimes override your human intentions.
Chimp's Need for Approval
This is an inbuilt drive, stemming from the primitive need for a chimpanzee to be part of a troop for survival. In humans, this translates into a desire for approval, often from the entire world, which can lead to distress when not received, unlike a chimp's focus on its immediate troop.
5 Questions Answered
The mind generates two images: one from the rational 'human circuits' reflecting desired traits, and another from the emotional 'chimp circuits' reflecting how you feel about yourself, which may not align with reality.
Social media and a desire for approval can lead us to adopt values and drives (like wanting a Lamborghini or public speaking) that are actually behaviors attached to deeper, often chimp-driven, needs like recognition and love, rather than true intrinsic drives.
One method is to write down the 'perfect person you want to be,' focusing on character traits like compassion, honesty, and integrity, which reveals your true human circuit's intention.
Hopes are aspirations (e.g., winning an Olympic medal) that you accept may not happen, keeping you in the logical human circuit. 'Have-tos' are absolute demands (e.g., 'I have to get an Olympic medal') that engage the emotional chimp circuits and can lead to stress if not met.
Yes, you are 100% responsible for managing your chimp's behavior, even if it interferes with your true intentions. It's not an excuse model, and apologies are necessary when the chimp acts inappropriately.
6 Actionable Insights
1. Define Your Ideal Self
Write down the perfect person you want to be, focusing on character traits like compassion, honesty, and integrity, rather than achievements or external drives. This list reveals your true self, representing your core human circuit.
2. Manage Your Inner Chimp
Take 100% responsibility for managing your “chimp” circuit, which can cause immediate, emotional reactions. When your chimp interferes and leads to undesirable behavior, apologize and correct it, as it’s not an excuse for your actions.
3. Identify True Intrinsic Drives
Distinguish between genuine intrinsic drives (e.g., need for security, food) and external values or behaviors (e.g., desire for recognition, approval) often influenced by social pressures. This helps you understand what truly motivates you versus what you’ve adopted.
4. Limit Approval Seeking
Recognize that the innate drive for approval, stemming from primitive needs, should be limited to your “immediate troop” (close circle). Disregard the need for approval from the wider world, especially on social media, as it’s not relevant to your core well-being.
5. Separate Hopes from Demands
Differentiate between what you hope to achieve (human circuit, accepting potential failure) and what you feel you “have to” achieve (chimp circuit, leading to stress). Accepting that desired outcomes may not happen allows for a more rational and less stressful approach.
6. Recognize Chimp Interference
Be aware that your “chimp” circuit can interfere with your true, compassionate intentions, causing immediate, unthoughtful reactions. Understanding this neuroscience helps you avoid self-blame when your actions temporarily don’t align with your core character.
3 Key Quotes
The reality is fantastic. That is you. It's not who you hope to be. It is you. It's not a myth. It's neuroscience. It's you.
Steve Peters
You're a hundred percent responsible for managing the chimp.
Steve Peters
The chimpanzee has got it right. We've got it wrong. The chimpanzee recognises anyone only wants approval from its immediate troop. Whereas we actually try and get approval from the whole world.
Steve Peters
1 Protocols
Discovering Your True Self-Image
Steve Peters- Get a blank piece of paper.
- Write down the perfect person you want to be, focusing on character traits like discipline, empathy, compassion, honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, and respect.
- Recognize that this list represents your true self and how you would naturally be if there were no interference from the chimp or the computer system.