Moment 68 - Do This If You Don’t Like Your Job: Marcus Buckingham
This episode explores the "competence curse" where individuals pursue careers they excel at but dislike. It introduces a practical "Loved It / Loathed It" exercise to identify "red threads" – activities that bring energy and mastery – and offers strategies to reweave one's job or life to incorporate more of these fulfilling moments.
Deep Dive Analysis
10 Topic Outline
The Curse of Competence in Career Choices
Prioritizing 'What' Over 'Who' and 'Why' for Job Satisfaction
Introducing the 'Loved It / Loathed It' Exercise
Identifying and Understanding 'Red Threads' in Work
The Psychological Damage of Loveless Work
Applying Self-Reflection to Find Love Outside Work
The 'I Love It When' Exercise for Articulating Passions
Strategies for Weaving Red Threads into Your Current Job
Making Your Job vs. Finding Your Job
The Importance of Early Frameworks for Identifying Passions
5 Key Concepts
Curse of Competence
This refers to the phenomenon where being highly skilled or good at something can inadvertently lead individuals into careers they dislike. Despite achieving high performance, they may hate the actual activities involved, resulting in deep dissatisfaction.
The 'What' Trumps 'Who' and 'Why'
This framework posits that the specific daily activities and tasks ('what' you do) are ultimately more crucial for job satisfaction than the people you work with ('who') or the overarching purpose of the job ('why'). Disengagement often stems from a mismatch with the actual day-to-day work.
Red Threads
These are specific activities, moments, or contexts within a workday that genuinely energize an individual, make time fly, and evoke a sense of innate mastery or flow. Identifying and incorporating more 'red threads' is key to creating a fulfilling work experience.
Loveless Job
A job is considered 'loveless' if, after consistent self-assessment (e.g., two weeks of the 'Loved It / Loathed It' exercise), an individual finds no 'red threads' or activities they genuinely love. Remaining in such a job can lead to significant psychological damage.
Making Your Job
This concept suggests that highly successful and satisfied individuals don't merely 'find' a perfect job; instead, they actively identify their 'red threads' and intentionally re-weave or maneuver their existing roles. They adapt their responsibilities to incorporate more of these loved activities, thereby creating a job that perfectly fits them.
5 Questions Answered
Yes, competence can be a 'devilish curse' because individuals can excel and achieve high performance in activities they actually hate, leading them down a career path that doesn't bring genuine joy or fulfillment.
According to Marcus, the 'what' (the actual activities you fill your days with) ultimately trumps the 'who' (the people you work with) and the 'why' (the purpose of your work) in determining job satisfaction.
Staying in a 'loveless job' for an extended period can lead to psychological damage, making you a different person, and this emptiness can negatively impact your relationships at home.
By paying attention to 'red threads' identified through self-assessment, individuals can consciously seek opportunities to weave more of these loved activities into their daily work, potentially learning new competencies or maneuvering their role.
In the US, 73% of Americans believe they have the freedom to maneuver their job to fit themselves better, yet only 18% actually report using their strengths every day, indicating an 'attitude-behavior consistency problem'.
10 Actionable Insights
1. Prioritize Daily Activities (The What)
Focus on the specific activities you fill your days with (“the what”) over the purpose (“the why”) or people (“the who”) for long-term job satisfaction, as the “what” ultimately trumps the other factors.
2. Conduct a Loved It / Loathed It Audit
Carry a blank pad for a week, drawing a line down the middle with “Loved It” and “Loathed It” columns. Jot down every activity, moment, or context that either lifts you up (a “red thread”) or drains you, to identify patterns of engagement and disengagement.
3. Identify Your Red Threads
Pay attention to activities you instinctively volunteer for, where time flies by, and you feel a sense of mastery or being “up.” These “red threads” are clues to your innate passions and energy sources.
4. Write Personal Love Notes
Complete the sentence “I love it when I…” with a verb describing an action you genuinely enjoy, rather than focusing on external praise or abstract concepts, to articulate what truly energizes you.
5. Weave Red Threads into Your Day
Each morning, instead of just focusing on your to-do list, intentionally identify and weave 3-5 “red threads” into your day. This proactive approach helps you gradually reshape your work to be more fulfilling.
6. Reweave Your Current Job
Instead of immediately quitting, try to “rewire” or “reweave” your existing job by consciously incorporating more of your identified “red threads.” This can involve learning new competencies or taking on different tasks within your role.
7. Expand Search if Work is Loveless
If two consecutive weeks of the “Loved It / Loathed It” audit yield no “red threads” at work, extend the audit to your entire life – hobbies, family, community – to find where your true passions and energy lie.
8. Beware the Competence Curse
Recognize that being highly competent or receiving external validation for a job you dislike can be a “devilish curse,” leading you down a path of dissatisfaction because you’re good at something you hate.
9. Avoid Loveless Work’s Damage
Understand that spending years in a “loveless job” can psychologically damage you and negatively impact your home life, as emptiness from work is often brought back to your family.
10. Teach Self-Awareness Early
Encourage children, even as young as nine, to develop a language around their emotional reactions to activities, helping them identify their “red threads” early and guide their career choices more effectively than external pressures.
5 Key Quotes
Competence can be a a devilish curse, because you can get the A's and hate the work. You can get high performance but actually hate the activities.
Marcus Buckingham
The what trumps the who and the why in the end, like what are you actually filling your days with?
Marcus Buckingham
You are psychologically damaged, you're a different person after five years of loveless work. You're damaged.
Marcus Buckingham
Many people will actually find is that if you hate lawyering it might well be that you're the wrong kind of lawyer. It might not be that you have to ditch your degree, it might be that you can start to rewire or re um sew, reweave your job so that it has more red threads in it.
Marcus Buckingham
The most successful people... they didn't find it, that's totally the wrong verb. They made it.
Marcus Buckingham
2 Protocols
The 'Loved It / Loathed It' Exercise
Marcus Buckingham- Take a blank pad and draw a line down the middle.
- Label one column 'Loved It' and the other 'Loathed It'.
- Carry the pad with you for one regular week.
- Throughout the day, note down any activity, moment, or situation that lifts you up, makes time fly, or gives you a sense of mastery in the 'Loved It' column (these are 'red threads').
- Note down any activity where you procrastinate, time drags, or you feel drained in the 'Loathed It' column.
- At the end of the week, review your lists.
- If there's nothing in the 'Loved It' column for two consecutive weeks, you have a 'loveless job'.
'I Love It When' Self-Reflection
Marcus Buckingham- Write one 'love note' to yourself, starting with 'I love it when...'
- Finish the sentence with a verb describing an action you are doing (e.g., 'I love it when I create,' not 'I love it when people praise me').
- Optionally, write a second sentence following the same structure.