Moment 91 - The "Harmless" Thing You Do That Hurts So Many People! - Richard Osmond
The episode explores the experience of being unusually tall, highlighting how constant microaggressions and comments about physical differences can lead to feelings of shame and self-consciousness. It emphasizes the importance of treating everyone normally and being mindful of repetitive remarks.
Deep Dive Analysis
6 Topic Outline
Richard Osman's Experience with His Height
Height as a Source of Constant Microaggressions
Connecting Personal Experience to Broader Social Issues
Impact of 'Harmless Jokes' and Body Shaming
Origin and Long-Term Effects of Height-Related Self-Consciousness
Coping Mechanisms for Feeling Different
2 Key Concepts
Microaggressions
Richard Osman explains microaggressions as the constant, everyday reminders of being 'different' that accumulate over time. Even if not intentionally cruel, these comments or observations, when repeated by many people, can make an individual feel perpetually singled out and self-conscious, similar to what people of color or differently gendered individuals experience.
Body Shaming
Richard Osman defines body shaming from his personal experience as feeling ashamed due to comments or observations about one's physical stature or appearance. He notes that he previously perceived his feelings as embarrassment or shyness, but now recognizes that being made to feel ashamed about his height constitutes body shaming.
6 Questions Answered
Being 6'7" means constant reminders of being different, leading to self-consciousness, avoiding certain activities like gigs or cinemas (due to not wanting to block views or fit), and experiencing 'harmless jokes' that accumulate into a significant burden.
Richard Osman's experience of constant reminders about his height, while not discriminatory in the same way, helps him understand the non-stop microaggressions faced by people of color or differently gendered individuals, highlighting the shared experience of being perpetually singled out.
Richard Osman suggests that how people react to someone being 'different' acts as a 'c word radar,' revealing those who are genuinely unpleasant and seek to make others feel small out of their own unhappiness or hate.
While individual jokes might be harmless, their constant repetition (e.g., 'glad I wasn't behind you' at a gig) becomes boring and burdensome for the person who is the subject, making them feel perpetually singled out and self-conscious.
Richard Osman notes that he previously perceived his feelings about his height as embarrassment or shyness, but the younger generation has accurately named such experiences as 'body shaming,' providing a validating term for what he and others have endured.
His significant self-consciousness began around age 17-18, particularly when he was going off to university, leading him to hide away from things and not live the life he wanted for many years.
4 Actionable Insights
1. Treat Others Normally
When interacting with someone who is different, talk to them normally and avoid pointing out their differences, as they are constantly reminded of it and do not need it highlighted further.
2. Avoid Repetitive Jokes
Before making a joke or comment about someone’s physical difference (e.g., height), consider if they have likely heard it many times before, as it can become boring or unpleasant for them.
3. Recognize Body Shaming
Understand that comments about someone’s stature or physical differences, even if not intended cruelly, can constitute body shaming if they make the person feel ashamed or embarrassed.
4. Use Humor as a Shield
If you feel different or insecure, cultivate skills like humor and strong communication to “paper over the cracks” and navigate social situations more comfortably.
6 Key Quotes
I'm six foot seven which is too much is the truth.
Richard Osman
If you're different in any way right you're reminded of it non-stop.
Richard Osman
It's a really good radar for what people are like I call it a c word radar sometimes this being different in any way.
Richard Osman
If someone is different right just talk to them normally.
Richard Osman
I would never have thought of it as that I just was embarrassed it just made me feel shy it made me not want to go out but it's body shaming.
Richard Osman
Anyone who's 5'9 or 6'7 we all want to be 6'2.
Richard Osman