Most Replayed Moment: Would You Still Love Them If You Came Off The Pill...? Your Hormones Are Controlling You!
This episode features Dr. Sarah Hill, a psychologist, discussing how women's hormones influence attraction and well-being. She explains how the menstrual cycle affects partner preferences and details the profound, often unrecognized, impacts of hormonal birth control on a woman's brain, libido, mood, and relationship attraction.
Deep Dive Analysis
12 Topic Outline
Women's Partner Preferences Across the Menstrual Cycle
Estrogen's Role in Attraction and Fertility
Scientific Methods for Studying Hormonal Influence on Attraction
Dr. Sarah Hill's Personal Journey with Hormonal Birth Control
The Societal Importance and Tradeoffs of Hormonal Birth Control
Five Key Ways Birth Control Changes Women
Mechanisms of Hormonal Birth Control and Sexual Psychology
Impact of Birth Control on Libido and Masculinity Preferences
Changes in Attraction After Discontinuing Birth Control
Men's Attraction to Naturally Cycling Women
The Potential Link Between Birth Control and Male Testosterone Levels
Alternative Explanations for Declining Male Testosterone
4 Key Concepts
Fertile Window
This is the period in a woman's menstrual cycle, typically from day 9 to day 15, when estrogen levels are high, ovulation occurs, and pregnancy is possible. During this time, women experience increased sexual desire and a heightened preference for cues in partners related to high genetic quality, such as masculinity.
Testosterone as an Immunosuppressive Cue
Testosterone is known to suppress the immune system. Therefore, high levels of testosterone in men can signal that their bodies are in such good physical condition and their immune system is robust enough to handle this suppression, indicating greater immunocompetence and genetic quality. Women at high fertility tend to prefer these testosterone-related cues.
Progestin's Mechanism in Birth Control
Progestin is a synthetic progesterone present in all hormonal birth control. When detected by the hypothalamus in the brain, it signals to suppress ovarian stimulation, preventing egg maturation and ovulation. This mechanism keeps a woman's natural estrogen levels low.
Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG)
This is a protein released by the liver, which increases due to the synthetic hormones in birth control. SHBG binds up free testosterone, rendering it inactive in the body. This reduction in active testosterone significantly contributes to decreased libido in women using hormonal contraception.
7 Questions Answered
During the fertile window (around day 9-15), when estrogen is high, women's sexual desire increases, and they show a heightened preference for cues related to masculinity and testosterone in potential partners, signaling high genetic quality.
She wrote it because, as a psychologist studying women's brains and a long-term birth control user, she realized she was unaware of its profound effects on her own brain and behavior until she went off it, feeling 'woke up' and more alive. She wanted to empower other women with this information.
Hormonal birth control can change sexual desire and attraction, emotional states (moods, stress management), sexual function, and the ability to put on muscle mass, affecting overall nutrition and fitness goals.
It suppresses ovulation by using synthetic progestin, which keeps natural estrogen levels low. This turns off the estrogen surge that typically increases sexual desire and preference for masculine traits. Additionally, it increases sex hormone binding globulin, which reduces free testosterone, further lowering libido.
Yes, research suggests it can. Women partnered with attractive men may become more attracted and sexually satisfied, while those partnered with less attractive men may become less attracted and satisfied after discontinuing the pill.
Evidence suggests men are generally more attracted to naturally cycling women. If a partner discontinues hormonal birth control, a man is likely to experience an increase in attraction, especially during her high fertility window, as men's brains are wired to pick up on estrogen cues.
This is an open research question. Studies show men's testosterone increases in response to the scent of fertile women. It's hypothesized that the widespread use of hormonal birth control, leading to lower average estrogen levels in the population, might contribute to the observed decline in men's testosterone, but there is no definitive research answer yet.
5 Actionable Insights
1. Understand Birth Control’s Impact
Recognize that hormonal birth control fundamentally changes who you are by altering your brain’s chemistry, affecting sexual desire, attraction, emotional states, stress regulation, and physical goals. This awareness is crucial for making informed decisions about its use.
2. Evaluate Birth Control Tradeoffs
Make informed decisions about hormonal birth control by understanding its potential effects on your body and mind, weighing these tradeoffs against your personal life circumstances and contraceptive needs. There is no universal ‘right’ answer, and the decision is highly individual.
3. Hormonal Birth Control Lowers Libido
Be aware that hormonal birth control can decrease libido and dampen attraction to masculine traits in partners, as it suppresses estrogen surges and significantly reduces free testosterone levels. These hormonal changes are known to suppress sexual desire and alter preferences.
4. Birth Control Can Shift Attraction
If you chose your partner while on hormonal birth control, understand that discontinuing it could subtly alter your attraction to them. This shift might increase attraction for partners perceived as more attractive or decrease it for those perceived as less attractive.
5. Men Attracted to Natural Cycles
Men are evolutionarily wired to be more attracted to women during their natural fertile window, finding them sexier and more appealing due to cues related to higher estrogen levels. This suggests men’s brains are attuned to natural hormonal fluctuations.
5 Key Quotes
Estrogen loves testosterone, right?
Dr. Sarah Hill
Your hormones make you who you are. And when you change your hormones, you change who you are.
Dr. Sarah Hill
There's been nothing that has been more instrumental to women's ability to be able to achieve political and economic independence for men than the birth control pill.
Dr. Sarah Hill
Most women who choose their partners when they're on hormonal birth control go off of hormonal birth control, and then there's really not a huge shakeup in their relationship, right?
Dr. Sarah Hill
Men's brains are wired to pick up on estrogen cues.
Dr. Sarah Hill