Rita Ora: “I Lived With Constant Anxiety”…After Being Signed By Jay-Z At 18!!! (E265)
Rita Ora, international pop star, shares her journey from a Kosovo refugee to global success, discussing early struggles, working with Jay-Z, battling anxiety and panic attacks, and finding stability in her 30s through therapy, self-care, and marriage, leading to a new album and perspective.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Early Life as a Refugee in the UK
Parental Influence and Resilience
Discovering a Passion for Singing
The Drive to Overwork and Prove Herself
Coping with Trauma and Anxiety
The Path to Being Signed by Jay-Z
Lessons from Early Career Experiences
Navigating the 'Messy 20s' and Self-Discovery
The Impact of Therapy on Mental Well-being
Rebirth with New Album 'You & I'
Dealing with Career Failures and Public Scrutiny
Marriage, Stability, and Shifting Priorities
Creative Process and Album Themes
Non-Negotiable Routines for Well-being
Aspiring for Longevity and a Lasting Legacy
4 Key Concepts
Immigrant Work Ethic
A drive, often seen in individuals from immigrant or refugee backgrounds, to overwork and constantly prove their worth or right to be in a new country, stemming from a deep-seated fear of losing everything.
Autopilot Confidence
A state where an individual can project an image of confidence and self-assurance, effectively masking internal doubts, insecurities, and anxieties, particularly in high-pressure or public situations.
Panic Attack Cycle
A phenomenon where the intense fear of experiencing another panic attack can become a primary trigger, leading to a recurring spiral of anxiety and subsequent panic episodes, as Rita learned through therapy.
10,000 Hours Theory
The belief that achieving mastery in any field requires approximately 10,000 hours of dedicated practice and consistent effort, a theory Rita Ora genuinely believes in and applies to her craft.
7 Questions Answered
Her refugee background instilled a deep sense of needing to overwork and constantly prove herself, driven by a fear of losing everything, which has made her an obsessive workaholic.
She interned at a recording studio, making tea and doing backing vocals for free, which put her in the right atmosphere. A demo she sang on was heard by an A&R person, leading to an introduction to Jay Brown and Roc Nation, and she was signed at 18.
Focus on developing your craft to be able to stand alone, don't believe all promises, and understand that longevity comes from building your own DNA rather than relying on quick hits.
She discovered therapy at 26, which helped her learn to control her thoughts and manage the fear of having panic attacks. She also uses distractions like work, working out, meditating, and eating well.
Marriage to Taika Waititi brought a sense of stability to her home life, which in turn made her more excited about achieving new goals and pushing herself creatively and professionally.
The album is a 'rebirth' reflecting her current life stage, including marriage and self-discovery. It explores themes of new beginnings, love, self-love, and appreciating connections, aiming for a timeless pop icon status.
Her non-negotiables include waking up an hour earlier to work out, meditating, eating well, and finding a good book to read, as well as constantly seeking new music, artists, and films for inspiration.
21 Actionable Insights
1. Master Your Craft Independently
Focus on mastering your craft to be self-sufficient and “stand alone,” rather than relying on others’ promises, which ensures longevity and timelessness in your career.
2. Commit Fully to Plan A
Avoid having a Plan B if you want to dedicate your “all” to Plan A, as a backup plan can dilute your commitment and effort.
3. Consistently Show Up and Be Present
Be willing to consistently show up, even for unpaid work, to be present in the desired environment, make yourself available, and be seen and heard, as this increases opportunities.
4. Embrace Sacrifice and Do Homework
Be willing to make significant sacrifices for your career and consistently “do the homework” by deeply researching and understanding your craft to achieve mastery and creative goals.
5. Prioritize Physical and Mental Calm
Develop a routine of physical activity (working out, fasting), mindful eating, meditation, and avoiding panic-inducing situations to manage self-doubt and maintain mental calm.
6. Make Exercise Non-Negotiable
Integrate daily exercise, even when exhausted, as a “non-negotiable” part of your routine to boost confidence and drive, knowing you’ll always feel better afterwards.
7. Compartmentalize Work and Life
Separate your work identity and outcomes from your overall sense of self-worth and happiness to prevent professional setbacks from “crumbling” your entire being. Actively find other sources of joy outside of work.
8. Distinguish Work Life from Real Life
Consciously separate your professional persona and its challenges from your personal “real life” to find stability and joy in domestic and family experiences.
9. Utilize Therapy for Coping
Engage in therapy to process difficult emotions and develop coping mechanisms, as it can be an “incredible thing” for mental well-being.
10. Cultivate Genuine Relationships
Focus on building genuine connections and friendships, as these relationships can lead to unexpected opportunities and support later in life, even if initial ventures don’t succeed.
11. Practice Selflessness in Relationships
Understand that successful relationships require selflessness and being present for the other person, moving beyond a self-centered approach often fostered by career demands.
12. Consciously Appreciate Loved Ones
Make a conscious effort to appreciate your loved ones, especially parents, and be mindful of your words, as you never know when it might be the last thing you say to them.
13. Build a Consistent, Reliable Team
Prioritize building and maintaining a consistent and reliable team around you for long-term success and stability in your career.
14. Question Big Promises, Seek Proof
Be trusting in general, but be highly questioning of “big promises” in professional contexts; demand proof before committing to avoid disappointment.
15. Actively Climb Out of Lows
When feeling “broken” or at your lowest, recognize that the only way forward is to actively start “climbing” out of that state, as external words won’t fix it.
16. Communicate Through Art, Not Reaction
When facing public scrutiny or misrepresentation, choose to communicate your side of the story through your art (e.g., music, songwriting) rather than reacting publicly, as “less is more.”
17. Cultivate Discovery and Inspiration
Actively seek out new books, music, artists, films, and other sources of inspiration to fuel creativity, bring joy, and continuously learn about your craft.
18. Engage with People’s Stories
Be genuinely interested in people’s stories and ask insightful questions in conversations, as you “never really know what you’re going to get out of it” and it can inspire creativity.
19. Distract with Passion Projects
When facing difficult times, immerse yourself in work or passionate projects as a coping mechanism to distract yourself.
20. Stick to Your Word
Deliver on promises to maintain respect and avoid disrespecting others, as this builds trust and reliability.
21. Address Fear of Panic Attacks
Understand that the fear of having a panic attack can itself trigger panic attacks; therapy can help break this cycle.
7 Key Quotes
There was a sense of having to overwork to prove myself.
Rita Ora
Don't believe all the promises that people tell you.
Rita Ora
If you have a plan B, you're never really going to put your all in plan A.
Rita Ora
I just don't ask anyone for anything anymore. Basically.
Rita Ora
I've always been super honest with my fans and I will continue to do that and sometimes make mistakes along the way.
Rita Ora
There's nothing that anyone could say when you feel broken that is going to put you back together.
Rita Ora
My work ethic and being a nice person.
Rita Ora
2 Protocols
Rita Ora's Approach to Career Longevity and Success
Rita Ora- Get the right team and maintain consistency with them, avoiding frequent changes.
- Be willing to make significant sacrifices, missing personal events like birthdays, family gatherings, funerals, and weddings for your job.
- Constantly seek inspiration and do your 'homework' on creative subjects, learning the DNA of different genres or fields.
- Convince people to work with you on your creative visions and projects.
- Act as a businesswoman, understanding the industry and running your career as an enterprise.
- Believe in and apply the '10,000 hours theory' to achieve mastery in your craft.
Rita Ora's Daily Routine for Calmness and Well-being
Rita Ora- Wake up an hour earlier than necessary to work out, even when exhausted.
- Meditate regularly to keep the brain and heart calm.
- Eat well to support physical and mental health.
- Avoid putting oneself in situations that are likely to induce panic.
- Engage in reading good books to find joy and discovery.
- Actively seek out new music, artists, and films for discovery and creative inspiration.