Suicidal Drug Addict To Elite Military Commando with Ben Williams

Feb 15, 2021
Overview

Ben Williams, a former Royal Marine Commando, shares his journey from childhood trauma, drug addiction, and suicidal ideation to elite military service and entrepreneurship. He details overcoming adversity, finding purpose, and developing the "commando mindset" through core values and resilience.

At a Glance
17 Insights
2h 1m Duration
11 Topics
5 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Host's Introduction and Ben's Childhood Trauma

Early Drug Use and Developing an Alpha Male Identity

Becoming a Bouncer and a Tragic Manslaughter Incident

Despair, Suicidal Thoughts, and a YouTube Catalyst

Joining the Royal Marines and Commando Training

First Combat Engagement and the Commando Mindset

IED Injury in Afghanistan and Medical Discharge

Post-Military Struggles, PTSD, and Court-Martial

Rebuilding Life and Coaching the England Football Team

The ARA Framework for Dealing with Adversity

Finding Purpose in Running and Launching Looping Tech

Commando Mindset

A way of thinking rooted in specific values like courage, determination, excellence, self-discipline, integrity, cheerfulness, and humility. This mindset enables individuals to perform under extreme pressure, make clear decisions, and continuously strive for improvement.

Excellence (vs. Perfection)

The continuous striving towards something better, acknowledging that perfection is unattainable. It means putting in maximum effort daily, even if it's just 0.1% better, to always head in the right direction and maintain high standards without arrogance.

Cheerfulness in Adversity

The ability to find humor or a positive outlook in difficult situations, preventing suffering and negative spirals. It's about not letting tough circumstances 'laugh at you,' which helps maintain mental health and morale.

Integrity (Royal Marines)

Defined as one's virginity, meaning it can only be lost once. It emphasizes honesty and moral courage within the peer and leadership group, ensuring truthfulness and setting an example for others.

Decompression (Post-Combat)

The difficulty soldiers face in transitioning from high-stress combat environments back to civilian life. This often leads to pent-up emotions, anger, and a feeling of being misunderstood or forgotten, making it hard to adjust to normal routines.

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How does childhood trauma impact adult life?

Early childhood experiences, especially those involving violence or instability, fundamentally shape an individual's worldview and behaviors, often manifesting later in life as unprocessed emotions or negative coping mechanisms.

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What factors led Ben Williams into drug abuse and violence?

A combination of a difficult childhood marked by parental divorce and domestic violence, feeling like an outsider, a desire for acceptance and an 'alpha male' identity, and a sense of purposelessness after his initial dream of joining the marines was delayed.

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What was the catalyst for Ben Williams to overcome addiction and suicidal thoughts?

A Royal Marines YouTube advert, which reminded him of his childhood dream and offered a clear sense of purpose, prompted him to make a decisive break from his destructive habits and pursue a new path.

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How do the Royal Marines instill their values?

Through rigorous 32-week training and a strong ethos, values like courage, determination, excellence, self-discipline, integrity, cheerfulness, and humility are deeply ingrained, becoming a fundamental part of a marine's identity and decision-making in extreme situations.

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What is the importance of having a sense of purpose?

A sense of purpose provides stability and direction, especially for men, helping to navigate chaos and strive for goals. Its absence can lead to purposelessness, depression, and addiction, as people lose their orientation in life.

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Why is rewarding participation over accomplishment potentially harmful?

It can foster an entitlement mindset and discourage the pursuit of excellence and personal responsibility. This leads to a 'just turn up' attitude rather than striving for one's best, potentially hindering personal growth and societal standards.

1. Cultivate a Strong Sense of Purpose

Actively seek and define your life’s purpose and orientation, as having clear goals and things to strive for provides stability and prevents a downward spiral into purposelessness and addiction.

2. Apply the ARA Framework

When facing adversity, immediately Accept what has happened, Remove unwanted emotions like anger or sadness to think clearly, and Adapt proactively to the new situation by focusing on what needs to be done.

3. Uphold Integrity Fiercely

Treat your integrity as something that can only be lost once, making it a foundational value that guides your actions and ensures trustworthiness in all aspects of your life.

4. Maintain Cheerfulness in Adversity

Cultivate cheerfulness and find reasons to smile even in difficult situations, because if you don’t laugh at adversity, it will laugh at you, negatively impacting your mental health.

5. Strive for Continuous Excellence

Aim for continuous improvement by striving to be 0.1% better every day, understanding that perfection is unattainable, but consistent effort towards excellence is always possible.

6. Find Relatable Role Models

Seek out role models who are slightly ahead of you on a similar journey and are relatable, as their example can provide a powerful and accessible boost of courage and motivation to pursue your own ambitions.

7. Take Small, Actionable Steps

When starting a new path or overcoming addiction, begin with small, tangible actions like tidying your space, preparing healthy meals, or going for a short run, as these initial steps build momentum and self-belief.

8. Seek Internal Validation

Focus on validating your own achievements and progress rather than relying on external praise or approval from others, which fosters genuine self-worth and resilience.

9. Reward Accomplishment, Not Participation

In leadership or parenting, prioritize rewarding genuine accomplishment and maximum effort over mere participation, as this encourages striving for excellence and prevents a “just turn up” attitude.

10. Avoid Victimhood Mindset

Recognize that while initial losses or adversities may be involuntary, dwelling on them, becoming bitter, or refusing to adapt is a voluntary choice that can lead to further negative outcomes.

11. Speak Up About Struggles

Break the stigma of bottling up emotions by openly communicating your mental health struggles or difficulties to trusted peers, as this can reveal you are not alone and open pathways to support.

12. Embrace Struggle for Growth

View struggle and challenging periods as opportunities for growth and to “dig deep,” understanding that overcoming these difficulties builds resilience and is essential for achieving significant goals.

13. Use Exercise for Reflection

Incorporate physical activity like running into your routine as a dedicated time to escape distractions, think clearly, and process ideas, leveraging the endorphins and solitude for problem-solving.

14. Beware of False Belonging

Be cautious of social groups or activities that offer a sense of belonging primarily through shared negative habits like drug use, as this “togetherness” is often superficial and destructive.

15. Heed Experienced Warnings

Do not dismiss warnings or advice from experienced individuals who caution you about potential dangers or challenges, as their insights are often grounded in real-world consequences you may not foresee.

16. Monitor Gradual Negative Change

Be vigilant for subtle, gradual shifts in behavior or mindset that can lead to destructive patterns, recognizing that negative transformations can occur slowly, like a “frog in a frying pan.”

17. Process Childhood Trauma Later

Understand that unprocessed childhood experiences can resurface later in life, so be prepared to revisit and process past traumas as an adult to achieve emotional clarity and healing.

you can't even go and kill yourself can't even go hurt yourself you're all fucking useless

Ben Williams

99.99% need not apply

Royal Marines advert

check your fucking flashes

Vicey

integrity in the marines is your virginity you can only lose it once

Ben Williams

if you don't laugh at it or laugh at you

Ben Williams

it took 15 years to become an overnight success

Ben Williams

Dealing with Adversity (ARA Framework)

Ben Williams
  1. Accept: Acknowledge that the situation has happened or is happening without dwelling on blame or bitterness.
  2. Remove: Take out unwanted emotions (like anger or sadness) that can cloud judgment and hinder effective decision-making.
  3. Adapt: Focus on how to adjust to the new circumstances and what proactive steps need to be taken to move forward.
6-7 years old
Age when parents divorced Ben's age when his parents had a rough divorce.
6-7
Number of different schools attended Ben moved to this many schools during his childhood.
12 years old
Age Ben started smoking weed His initial entry into drug use.
17 and a half
Age Ben obtained SIA license The badge required to work as a bouncer.
18 years old
Age Ben started working as a bouncer He began working on the door immediately after turning 18.
Around 15
Number of doormen at nightclub incident The size of the door team at the nightclub where the fatal incident occurred.
5 kids
Children who lost their father in nightclub incident The number of children left without a father due to the accidental death.
32 weeks
Duration of Royal Marines training The length of the commando training course.
2 miles
Length of endurance course bogs/tunnels Part of one of the four commando tests.
4 miles
Length of endurance course run back to camp The final part of the endurance course.
About 3 meters
Length of sheep dip obstacle A fully submerged tunnel obstacle in the endurance course.
3 days
Duration of potential Royal Marines course A pre-training course designed to test recruits.
Around 100 pounds
Weight of Ben's kit in Afghanistan The approximate weight of his gear during patrols.
50 meters
Distance of mortar fire from compound The proximity of mortar impacts during an operation in Afghanistan.
36 hours
Time between IED blast and hospital in UK The rapid transition from combat zone to medical treatment after Ben's injury.
Just over half a million
Investment raised for Looping The amount of funding secured for Ben's tech company.
7 days
Days before missing payroll for Looping The narrow window in which Looping secured investment to avoid financial crisis.