The More Successful You Are The Longer You’ll Live: Will Storr
Will Storr, an award-winning author, discusses how societal individualism and the self-esteem movement have led to perfectionism and unhappiness. He explores the pervasive, often subconscious, role of status in human behavior, its impact on health, and offers insights on self-acceptance, effective communication, and fostering healthy competition.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Will Storr's Early Life and Influences
Debunking the Self-Esteem Movement Myth
Individualism, Neoliberalism, and the Rise of Perfectionism
The Fluidity of Self: How Environment and Biology Control Behavior
The Science of Storytelling in Business and Marketing
Understanding the Fundamental Human Drive for Status
The Impact of Status on Health and Mortality
The Morbid Consequences of Losing Status
How We Learn and Relate to High-Status Individuals
Status vs. Money: Which Motivates Us More?
The Different Types of Status Games We Play
Competition vs. Rivalry in Organizational Success
Personal Search for Connection and Meaning
Male Identity, Suicide, and the Need for Tailored Solutions
Finding Light Through Creation and Art
8 Key Concepts
Self-Esteem Movement
A pervasive idea from the 1980s that suggested self-love and high self-esteem were a 'social vaccine' for success, happiness, and solving societal problems. Research by Professor Roy Baumeister later debunked this, showing that high self-esteem was a result of success, not its cause.
Myth of Unlimited Control
The belief that individuals have full control over themselves and can achieve anything they desire. This mindset, while motivating, can be 'savage' because it logically implies individual responsibility for failure, leading to increased perfectionism and negative mental health outcomes.
Lizard in the Iceberg
An analogy illustrating that changing one's environment is often more effective than trying to change oneself. Just as a desert lizard thrives in its natural habitat but struggles on an iceberg, human behavior is heavily influenced by external surroundings, not just internal willpower.
Social Genomics
A new scientific field exploring how our social world affects the function of our genes. It suggests that the brain constantly monitors social standing (status, connection), and low social status can trigger cellular changes like increased inflammation and decreased antiviral response, negatively impacting health.
Light Figure
An archetypal character in storytelling, derived from Christopher Booker's work, that helps the hero achieve their goals. In business storytelling, companies should position themselves as light figures—assisting the audience (the hero) in their journey—rather than presenting themselves as the hero.
Status Game
The subconscious human drive to feel of value within a group or tribe. This pursuit is fundamental for survival and reproduction, as higher status historically meant better resources and mating opportunities. Status can be measured in various ways beyond wealth or fame, depending on the specific 'game' being played.
Virtue Dominance Games
A destructive type of status game where individuals gain status by enforcing moral rules and coercing others to conform. Examples include cancel culture mobs on social media or totalitarian regimes like the Nazis and Soviet Union, where competence is disregarded in favor of ideological adherence and punishment.
Copy, Flatter, Conform
A mechanism by which humans learn and identify with high-status individuals. We tend to copy their behaviors, flatter them to gain access, and conform to their norms, especially if they are perceived as successful versions of ourselves. This process explains phenomena like celebrity influence and why we are often envious of peers.
12 Questions Answered
No, childhood trauma can cause damage that is never fully eradicated because the brain learns how the world works during those formative years (up to mid-twenties). However, its power can definitely be diminished over time.
The core flaw was mistaking correlation for causation; it assumed that high self-esteem led to success, when in reality, success (like doing well in exams) led to high self-esteem. There was no evidence that self-esteem itself caused positive outcomes.
The neoliberal revolution, driven by increased competition and reduced social safety nets, changed who we are as people. It led to a massive increase in perfectionism in the UK, America, and Canada, which is linked to suicidal ideation, eating disorders, and self-harm.
To maintain consistency, it's crucial to change one's environment rather than solely relying on changing oneself. Removing temptations (e.g., unhealthy food from the house) or actively placing oneself in goal-supportive environments (e.g., going to the gym) can significantly help.
While childhood experiences can affect individuals, alcoholism is mostly genetic. People can have a genetic vulnerability to addiction, which might be accelerated by trauma, but it's not solely caused by an unhappy childhood.
Businesses should understand that the brain processes reality through story and emotion, not just facts. They should position themselves as 'light figures' (helpers) in the audience's story, focusing on how they can help the audience (the hero) achieve their goals, rather than boasting about their own achievements.
Status is a fundamental human need because it historically correlated with survival and reproduction within tribal groups. Pursuing status means striving to feel of value, which can manifest in diverse ways, from accumulating wealth to living simply, depending on the specific 'status game' being played.
Yes, extensive evidence, such as the Whitehall studies, suggests that higher status correlates with better health outcomes and a lower risk of death. The brain's 'status detection system' can influence gene function, with lower status potentially increasing inflammation and reducing antiviral responses.
Jealousy arises because our sense of value is often relative. If friends around us accelerate in success, it can subconsciously devalue our own achievements, making us feel left behind or inadequate, even if we are doing well ourselves.
Yes, status is often more valuable than money. Humans have evolved to crave status, not money, which is a relatively new concept. Studies show that many people would choose a higher-status job title over a modest pay raise, as titles offer visible status cues that money often doesn't.
Organizations should encourage 'rivalry' rather than 'competition.' Rivalry is a healthy, one-on-one or group-on-group motivator characterized by near misses and skirmishes, pushing individuals or teams to excel. In contrast, 'competition' (all against all) can lead to toxic, corrupt corporate cultures.
Men often face a challenge in maintaining social connection as they age, tending to 'go it alone' more instinctively than women. This can lead to a lack of support and increased vulnerability to issues like suicide, highlighting the need for men to intentionally fight for and prioritize social connections.
12 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Self-Acceptance, Not Self-Love
Instead of believing you can be anything, accept yourself as a flawed and limited individual, understanding your true strengths and weaknesses to find suitable paths in life. This mindset fosters a more realistic and healthy self-view than the self-esteem movement’s message of unlimited potential.
2. Change Your Environment, Not Yourself
To consistently maintain desired behaviors and achieve goals, focus on altering your external environment rather than relying solely on willpower to change your internal self. Our surroundings significantly control our behavior, making environmental adjustments a powerful tool for self-improvement.
3. Prioritize Emotion in Communication
When communicating, especially in business or marketing, lead with emotion and connect with your audience’s feelings, values, and tribal identity. The brain processes reality through feelings and stories, not just facts and data, making emotional connection crucial for persuasion.
4. Position Your Brand as a Light Figure
In storytelling for business, present your company or yourself as a ’light figure’ who helps the audience (the hero) achieve their goals, rather than as the hero of the story. This approach resonates more deeply as people primarily want to know how you can help them.
5. Give Status Freely to Others
Recognize that status is a fundamental human need and often more valued than money; be generous in giving status to employees and those around you. This fosters positive relationships, motivates others, and can indirectly enhance your own social standing.
6. Encourage Rivalry, Not Competition
In organizational settings, foster rivalry (one-on-one or team-on-team challenges) rather than all-against-all competition. Rivalry is a healthy and massive motivator that drives innovation, while unchecked competition can lead to toxic and corrupt corporate cultures.
7. Diversify Your Status Games
To increase personal stability and happiness, engage in multiple status games and belong to various groups. Having diverse sources of status provides resilience against setbacks in any single area of life.
8. Manage Your Inner Critic
Cultivate an internal voice that acts as a firm but kind and understanding parent, rather than a harsh judge or a constant validator of emotions. This balance helps in learning from mistakes and achieving personal growth.
9. Identify and Encourage Strengths
For children and adults, move beyond the myth of unlimited control and instead identify what individuals are passionate about and genuinely good at. Encourage them specifically in these areas to foster true talent and fulfillment.
10. Prioritize Social Connection Intentionally
Recognize that men, in particular, often have an instinct to ‘go it alone,’ but actively fighting for and being intentional about social connection is crucial for well-being and happiness. Make efforts to attend social gatherings and volunteer to build community.
11. Seek Male-Friendly Mental Health Solutions
Instead of simply telling men to be ‘more like women’ in expressing emotions, focus on developing solutions specifically designed for men’s social and psychological tendencies. This tailored approach is more effective in addressing issues like male suicide.
12. Leverage Creation for Well-being
When feeling depressed or low, engage in creative work or ‘art’ that you can be proud of. This act of creation can provide a significant psychological status boost and help pull you out of negative emotional states.
10 Key Quotes
You shouldn't raise your children to believe that they can be Beyonce, because the chances are they can't.
Will Storr
That myth of you have full control over yourself as a human being. That's the problem. It's not about embracing your flaws. It's about accepting your flaws.
Will Storr
Our lives are full of status pursuit. The more status that you earn, the better everything else gets. That was true 10,000 years ago. It's true today.
Will Storr
The brain is highly attuned to where we sit in a pecking order. The lower we are down in that pecking order, the more unhealthy we became.
Will Storr
If you take two smokers, the one higher up is less likely to die of a smoking-related disease than the one lower down.
Will Storr
Logic and facts and data and statistics. That's not the language of the brain. The language of the brain is beginning, middle and end, a character overcoming obstacles.
Will Storr
When you go straight in with his or my awards, here's what this person said about me. Here's some statistics and stuff. You're not a light figure. You're presenting as the hero. What people really want to know is how can you help me get what I want?
Will Storr
Being human is a predictor of being addicted to status games. We're all addicted to status games.
Will Storr
We are programmed to crave connection and status and we will find connection and status wherever we can.
Will Storr
The only way out is art.
Will Storr
3 Protocols
Achieving Personal Goals by Changing Environment
Will Storr- Identify the desired behavior or goal (e.g., weight loss, consistency).
- Analyze the current environment for factors that hinder or support the goal.
- Modify the environment to remove temptations or create supportive conditions (e.g., remove junk food from the house, go to the gym).
- Recognize that behavior is largely controlled by the environment, not just internal willpower.
Effective Business Storytelling Framework
Will Storr- Understand your audience: Figure out how they feel about the world, themselves, justice, and their values (tribal affiliations, heroes, villains, motivations).
- Connect emotionally: Start with a personal story or an emotional appeal to engage the audience.
- Position your organization as a 'light figure': Present your company or product as a helper that assists the audience (the hero) in achieving their goals or solving their problems.
- Avoid presenting as the hero: Do not lead with awards, statistics, or self-promotion, as the audience sees themselves as the hero of their own story.
- Make tribal appeals: Align your message with the political or social goals important to your target audience to foster connection and engagement.
Advancing in the Status Game (Healthy Approach)
Will Storr- Recognize that status is a fundamental human need to feel of value.
- Give status to others: Be generous with praise, recognition, and opportunities, as status is a free resource that can foster positive relationships and reciprocation.
- Encourage rivalry, not competition: Foster one-on-one or team-on-team challenges (rivalry) to motivate and push for excellence, rather than an 'all against all' environment (competition) that can be toxic.
- Play multiple status games: Diversify sources of status by engaging in various groups and activities (e.g., work, hobbies, volunteering) to create a more stable personality and increase overall happiness.