The Relationships Professor: “This Is An Emergency!” The Number Of Men Having No Sex Increased 180%! (Why This Is Dangerous & How We Fix It)

Oct 2, 2023
Overview

Scott Galloway, entrepreneur, author, and professor, discusses the crisis facing young men in society, exploring its biological, educational, and economic roots. He offers actionable insights for individuals and outlines a new vision for modern masculinity, emphasizing protection, provision, and procreation.

At a Glance
13 Insights
1h 54m Duration
20 Topics
6 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

The Crisis Facing Men: Statistics and Societal Framing

Biological, Educational, and Economic Roots of Men's Struggles

Scott Galloway's Personal Motivation for Addressing Men's Issues

Impact of Modern Parenting and Reduced Socialization

Marriage as a Luxury and the Dangers of Male Loneliness

AI, Sex Bots, and the Erosion of Authentic Relationships

The Crucial Role of Enduring Rejection for Success

Practical Advice for Young Men: Digital Habits and Mojo

The Crisis's Broader Impact on Women and Dating

Scott Galloway's Algorithm for Financial Security

The Power of Diversification and Compound Interest in Investing

The Indispensable Need for Male Role Models

Deconstructing Andrew Tate's Influence and Status Seeking

The Innate Human Drive for Status and Luxury

Personal Audit of Addictions and Alcohol's Role

Simple Societal Solutions: Economic Policies for Young People

Scott Galloway's Parenting Philosophy and Advice to Sons

A New Vision for Modern Masculinity: Protector, Provider, Procreator

The Value and Nuance of Workplace Relationships

AI's Future: Job Impact and the Urgency of Regulation

Concierge and Bulldozer Parenting

This parenting style involves over-programming and sanitizing a child's life, which prevents them from developing their own immunities, social skills, and resilience to real-world challenges and rejection.

Poor Shit Polygamy

In online dating, the top 10% of men receive the vast majority of short-term relationship and sexual opportunities, which reduces their motivation for long-term commitment. This leaves the bottom 90% of men with little to no romantic interest or opportunities.

High Heels Effect

This metaphor describes how women are becoming increasingly educated, financially successful, and 'taller' (metaphorically and sometimes literally) while men are becoming 'shorter' socioeconomically. This dynamic leads to a shrinking pool of 'viable mates' for women who seek partners with similar or higher socioeconomic status.

Delusion of Complexity

This refers to the tendency of incumbents, such as corporations and wealthy individuals, to frame societal problems as overly complex. This framing often serves to avoid admitting simpler, more direct solutions that would be expensive or disadvantageous to their power or profits.

Three Legs of Masculinity

Scott Galloway's proposed framework for modern masculinity, distilling it into three core attributes: being a protector (physically, economically, and for vulnerable communities), a provider (economically for family and community), and a procreator (being an initiator in romantic relationships, distinct from being a predator).

Human Capital

For young individuals, human capital refers to their time, which, despite a potential lack of financial capital, can be strategically invested. This investment can be directed towards activities like earning money, engaging in physical fitness, and fostering social connections.

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What is the biggest problem facing men today?

Young men are struggling economically, socially, and emotionally, leading to increased suicide rates, loneliness, and a lack of purpose, largely due to a lack of male role models, an education system biased against them, and economic policies that disadvantage them.

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Why is there a crisis in male mental health and suicide rates?

Men are dying by suicide at three times the rate of women, and the issue is often framed as individual accountability rather than a societal problem, leading to a void filled by unproductive voices and a lack of compassion.

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How does modern parenting impact young men's development?

Concierge and bulldozer parenting over-programs and sanitizes children's lives, preventing them from developing crucial social skills and immunities to rejection and real-world challenges.

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Why is marriage becoming a 'luxury item'?

Marriage rates are increasingly correlated with income, with higher earners more likely to marry and lower earners less likely, leading to a growing divide where marriage is less accessible for many.

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What is the biggest danger AI presents to relationships?

AI, combined with sex bots, offers low-calorie, low-risk digital facsimiles of relationships, which can lead to depression and further sequester men from developing the skills and enduring the rejection necessary for real human connection.

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What is the key to professional and personal success?

The ability to endure rejection is paramount, as success in entrepreneurship, relationships, and life inevitably involves facing and overcoming numerous rejections.

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How can young men improve their financial security?

The algorithm involves focusing on a skill people will pay for, living below one's means to build capital, investing in low-cost diversified index funds/ETFs, and understanding the power of compound interest over time.

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Why are male role models so important for young men?

A lack of male role models is identified as a single point of failure where young men 'come off the tracks,' as they need guidance and examples of what it means to be a productive, successful man.

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What is the most dangerous aspect of figures like Andrew Tate?

The danger lies in how Tate's message starts with positive aspects like accountability and fitness, making it appealing to young men, but then veers into misogyny and grifting, which is adopted along with the initial positive messages.

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What truly impresses people, beyond material possessions?

People are less impressed by material possessions than one might think; instead, they are genuinely impressed by discipline, a clear plan, and character.

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Are societal problems like loneliness and depression too complex for simple solutions?

No, the solutions are often simpler than incumbents (corporations, wealthy individuals) admit, but they are expensive for those in power, such as dramatically increasing the minimum wage to put more money into the hands of young people.

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What is a modern vision for masculinity?

Modern masculinity should be based on three pillars: being a protector (physically, economically, and for vulnerable communities), a provider (economically for family and community), and a procreator (being an initiator in romantic relationships, distinct from being a predator).

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What is the role of workplace relationships in society?

Workplace relationships are crucial for retention, culture, and personal fulfillment, and they are a significant venue for meeting romantic partners. While boundaries are necessary, discouraging all such connections removes a third of mating opportunities.

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Will AI destroy jobs or create them?

Scott Galloway is an AI optimist, believing that while there will be some short-term job destruction and reshuffling, AI will ultimately create more jobs and opportunities by increasing productivity and leading to new industries and roles.

1. Cultivate Rejection Endurance

Develop the ability to endure rejection as it is the absolute key to success in both professional and personal life, more so than talent or hard work. Embrace rejection as a prerequisite for achieving significant economic or romantic success.

2. Reallocate Your Time Capital

Conduct a screen time audit to identify excessive hours spent on social media, gaming, or online activities, and reallocate that time to more productive pursuits. Think of your time as human capital to be invested in making money, physical fitness, or engaging in random social encounters.

3. Prioritize Physical Fitness

Dedicate four to six hours per week to physical fitness, as it can be more effective than pharmaceuticals and talk therapy for well-being. Being strong and in shape makes you more attractive, improves self-esteem, and fosters kindness.

4. Build Early Financial Security

Focus on developing skills in a field with a high employment rate, invest the necessary hours to become proficient, and live below your means like a stoic to accumulate capital. Invest at least two-thirds of your savings into low-cost ETFs and index funds, and start investing early, even with small amounts, to leverage compound interest and time.

5. Become a Male Role Model

Recognize that the primary solution for young men’s struggles is other men, and actively step up to mentor or guide young men in need. Get involved with irrational passion in the well-being of another child, as young men needing guidance are everywhere.

6. Modulate Online Consumption

Reduce overall time spent online, including modulating porn consumption, as every digital version of life is a shittier version of its analog counterpart. Less online engagement can help maintain the ‘mojo’ needed to take risks and engage in real-world interactions.

7. Cultivate In-Person Social Skills

Understand that online dating often fails to capture the ‘X factors’ of human sexuality like smell, humor, and intellect, which are best communicated in person. Develop in-person social skills such as good conversation, grooming, and confidence to impress potential partners in real-world settings.

8. Leverage Office for Young Professionals

If you are under 30 or 40, view the office as a crucial feature for career advancement and social connection, rather than a bug. Proximity in the workplace fosters strong relationships, which are essential for promotions and can lead to romantic partnerships.

9. Audit Your Addictions

Perform an audit of your personal addictions, including alcohol and other substances, to assess what you do excessively and how reducing it might improve your life. The test for addiction isn’t ruin, but whether you would be ’less shitty’ at things with moderation.

10. Embrace Modern Masculinity Pillars

Adopt a modern vision of masculinity based on being a protector, a provider, and an initiator in romantic relationships. Protect vulnerable communities without needing full understanding, provide for your family and community, and comfortably initiate romantic pursuits while respecting boundaries.

11. Learn AI for Career Advancement

Recognize that AI will not take your job, but rather someone who understands AI will. Invest in learning and adopting AI technologies to remain competitive and productive in the evolving job market.

12. Support Workplace Community

For leaders, invest in fostering community and friendship within the workplace, as it is a key retention tool and crucial for culture. Encourage social environments and interactions among junior staff, understanding that relationships, including romantic ones, often begin at work.

13. Encourage Children’s Risk-Taking

As a parent, allow children to experience unsupervised play and moderate risk-taking, such as experimenting with alcohol or drugs in a controlled manner. This helps them develop immunities and coping mechanisms rather than being overly sheltered.

The most dangerous person in the world, a lonely, young, broke male. And we're producing millions of them.

Scott Galloway

If you were to point to a single point of failure where all of this starts... it would be the following: When the boy no longer has a male role model.

Scott Galloway

Rejection is enormously painful... The ability to endure rejection is absolutely the key to success, more so than talent, more so than I even, I wouldn't say hard work. I'd say grit is right up there, but your ability to endure rejection is that, you know, if you want to punch above your weight class economically or romantically, then get out a spoon and get ready to eat shit.

Scott Galloway

Every digital version of your life is a shittier vision of the analog version that could happen.

Scott Galloway

The key to wealth, isn't as much how much money you make. It's your ability to live a little bit like a stoic and live below your means.

Scott Galloway

The ultimate expression of masculinity, where it shows you're powerful, you're strong, you're smart, is when you get involved and irrationally passionate about the well-being of another child.

Scott Galloway

I think the majority of people are less impressed by your things than you think. They're thinking about your shit less than you're thinking about it. I think people are really impressed with discipline and a plan.

Scott Galloway

If you have an Android phone, you're kind of signaling to the rest of the world that life hasn't panned out the way you'd hoped.

Scott Galloway

AI is not going to take your job. Someone who understands AI is going to take your job.

Scott Galloway

Algorithm for Financial Security

Scott Galloway
  1. Focus on finding something you are good at and that people will pay you for, assuming you are not an outlier.
  2. Live below your means like a stoic, avoiding debt and gamifying saving money, especially when young.
  3. Invest the saved capital in low-cost ETFs and index funds, diversifying across the market.
  4. Do away with the notion that you are brighter than others and can consistently outperform the market with individual stocks; avoid day trading.
  5. Appreciate the power of compound interest and how fast time goes, allowing investments to grow over the long term without constant trading.

Audit of Addictions

Scott Galloway
  1. Identify all things you do a lot of that you could probably do a little less of (e.g., alcohol, online shopping, social media, porn).
  2. Decide what would happen if you reduced your intake/engagement with these activities.
  3. Test if you would be 'a little less shitty at things' if you did less of it, as this is the true test for whether an activity is negatively impacting your life.
76%
Male Suicide Rate in the UK Percentage of suicide deaths that are male, with someone dying every 90 minutes.
25:1
Suicide Attempts vs. Deaths Ratio of suicide attempts for every death.
Suicide
Leading Cause of Death for Men Under 45 Identified as the single biggest cause of death for men under 45.
Twice as likely
Young People in Crisis (19-35 years old) This age group is twice as likely to report being in a personal crisis than any other group.
24% less wealthy
Wealth Disparity for Men Under 40 Men under 40 are 24% less wealthy than their parents were at the same age.
47 years old
Average Age of First-Time Homebuyer Current average age, compared to 29 years old in 1980.
One in seven
Men Without a Single Friend (US) Proportion of men in the United States who do not have a single friend.
1,000 swipes
Online Dating Swipes for Average Man An average attractive man needs to swipe right 1,000 times to get one coffee date.
2:1
Dating Disparity (Under 30) Two in three women under 30 have a boyfriend, while only one in three men have a girlfriend.
35%
Women Over 30 Living Alone (Today vs. 1970) Percentage of women over 30 living alone today, up from 12% in 1970.
$1 million
Investment Growth with Initial Capital A $7,000 diversified investment at birth, left untouched, could be worth $1 million by age 65.
85%
Day Traders Losing Money Percentage of day traders who lose money.
3% (US) vs. 11% (UK/Germany)
Apprenticeship Rate (US vs. UK/Germany) Percentage of people on LinkedIn with 'apprentice' as their title in the US compared to the UK and Germany.
1.2%
AI Productivity Increase Prediction (US) Predicted increase in US productivity over the next 10 years due to AI.