The Rise, The Fall & The Rebuild Of True Geordie
True Geordie (Brian) discusses his journey from a council estate to a YouTube pioneer, detailing his struggles with depression, anxiety, financial hardship, and the lessons learned from public scrutiny, emphasizing vulnerability, ambition, and mental well-being.
Deep Dive Analysis
18 Topic Outline
True Geordie's Rebellious Childhood and Early Life
Genetic and Environmental Influences on Personality
Impact of Being an Only Child and Living in One's Head
Transition from Oil Rigs to YouTube and Early Wealth
Addiction to New Possessions and Ego Amplification
Personal Crisis: Leaked DMs, Lost Deal, and Tax Bill
Coping with Suicidal Ideation and Online Ridicule
Strategic Response to Public Scandal and Financial Pressure
Impact of Crisis on Sleep and Mental State
Grief and Privacy After Mother's Passing
Dealing with Father's Bipolar Disorder and Suicide Attempt
Experience with Anxiety and Chemical Depression
Decision to Take Antidepressants and Positive Changes
Ambition, Financial Freedom, and Future Goals
Frustration with Industry Undervaluation and Packaging
Impact of Fitness and Boxing on Mental Health
Rationale for Disabling Social Media Comments
Balancing Public Persona with Private Sensitivity
5 Key Concepts
Living in Your Own Head
This concept suggests that individuals who spend a lot of time thinking internally are more prone to struggling with mental health issues like depression. It implies a potential link between overthinking and susceptibility to negative emotional states.
Loss of Purpose Depression
This describes a common phenomenon where people experience depression when they lose their sense of direction or purpose in life, such as after leaving a long-term career. It highlights the psychological impact of disorientation and lack of clear goals.
Monetary Impact on Joy
This concept explains that when an activity initially pursued for intrinsic enjoyment becomes monetized or obligatory, the fulfillment derived from it can diminish. The act of being paid can shift motivation from passion to obligation, reducing the original joy.
Situational vs. Chemical Depression
Situational depression is a depressive state triggered by specific, difficult life events, while chemical depression is believed to stem from a chemical imbalance in the brain, such as low serotonin levels. The episode suggests that both can coexist and require different approaches to treatment.
Insecurity as Rocket Fuel
This idea posits that personal insecurities, while often negative, can serve as a powerful motivator for ambition and drive. It suggests that the desire to prove oneself or overcome perceived shortcomings can propel individuals to achieve significant success.
9 Questions Answered
True Geordie grew up on a council estate, often in detention, and was expelled multiple times for rebellious acts like fighting and urinating on a teacher's lounge window. He felt misunderstood by authority figures and had a chip on his shoulder.
He believes his rebellious and aggressive traits are partly genetic from his punk rocker father, who was violent and spent time in prison. His kindness and compassion, however, come from his loving and caring mother.
After earning significant money from YouTube, he became addicted to buying luxury cars, like an Audi R8, McLaren, and Bentley GT, which he describes as a 'drug' that amplified his ego and led to wasteful spending and treating people poorly.
He coped by strategically addressing the public ridicule with self-deprecating humor on his show, while privately drinking a lot of whiskey and smoking weed to numb the pain and get through the days, prioritizing financial survival over immediate emotional processing.
He considered his mother too precious to share as a 'sob story' for public consumption, viewing her as a private and special part of his life that he didn't want to capitalize on or expose to the harshness of the internet.
His first experience with anxiety occurred after his mother died, causing a tight chest and difficulty breathing. Later, during his career struggles, it manifested as overwhelming fear and frustration, leading to shouting at friends and crew, and severe nightmares.
He reached a point of daily suicidal thoughts and overwhelming anxiety, realizing he was a 'liability to himself.' The fear of acting on these thoughts prompted him to call a doctor and try medication, despite initial skepticism and fears about side effects.
Antidepressants have helped him level out emotionally, making him more in control of his anger and ups and downs. He now communicates more calmly and honestly, feeling like a 'better person' who can address issues constructively.
He found that negative comments were detrimental to his mental health, even outweighing the positive ones. He realized that engagement metrics weren't as crucial as his well-being and chose to prioritize his peace by not reading feedback, whether good or bad.
18 Actionable Insights
1. Recognize Dangerous Thought Patterns
Be aware of negative thoughts becoming perceived solutions, such as suicidal ideation, and understand when you are becoming a liability to yourself. This awareness is crucial to seek help before thoughts manifest into dangerous actions.
2. Consider Medication for Depression
If experiencing severe, persistent depression and anxiety, especially when other coping mechanisms fail, consider medication as a viable option. Antidepressants can help rebalance brain chemistry, leading to improved mood, anger management, and communication.
3. Prioritize Mental Health Over Engagement
Do not let online comments or engagement metrics dictate your mental well-being. Disabling comments or filtering feedback can protect your emotional state, allowing you to focus on your work without external negativity.
4. Curate Your Social Circle for Peace
Actively choose to surround yourself only with people who bring peace and reduce stress, especially when turning over a new leaf. Remove individuals who bring drama, aggression, or heap undue pressure onto you.
5. Improve Communication Calmly
When issues arise, sit down and communicate honestly and calmly, explaining what went wrong and suggesting improvements. This approach fosters better relationships and a more relaxed work environment than internalizing anger.
6. Protect Deeply Personal Relationships
Draw a clear line on what personal experiences and relationships you share online, especially those that are precious and intimate. Not everything needs to be public, as once shared, it cannot be taken back and may be exploited.
7. Face Personal Truths Head-On
Confront and process all aspects of yourself, both good and bad, and acknowledge your mistakes. Facing things head-on, even painful truths, is essential for personal growth and finding peace.
8. Accept Parental Imperfections
Come to terms with your parents’ flaws and mistakes, understanding that no family is perfect. Accepting their imperfections is a crucial step towards personal peace and moving forward in life.
9. Heed Life’s Humbling Lessons
View significant setbacks or ‘slaps around the head’ from life as necessary humbling experiences. These moments, though brutal, can serve as powerful catalysts for self-reflection and change.
10. Prioritize Financial Stability in Crisis
During overwhelming personal and financial crises, prioritize securing immediate financial stability. Focus on getting money in the bank to alleviate pressure and create distance from the event before addressing deeper emotional issues.
11. Disarm Critics with Self-Deprecation
When facing public ridicule or shaming, strategically acknowledge and even mock yourself. By laughing it off and showing you’re not frightened, you can bore critics and prompt them to move on.
12. Channel Negative Traits Productively
Identify aggressive or rebellious tendencies and consciously channel them into positive outlets like focus, drive, and ambition. This transforms potential liabilities into powerful assets for success.
13. Seize Opportunities Quickly
Be an opportunistic person who, upon seeing a small opening or viral moment, immediately capitalizes on it and expands its potential. This proactive approach can lead to unexpected growth and success.
14. Cultivate Intrinsic Ambition
Strive to reach a point where your ambition is driven by genuine passion and intrinsic fulfillment, rather than external validation or material gain. This shift occurs when you recognize your inherent self-worth.
15. Maintain High Content Consistency
Commit to a consistent content schedule, even when facing personal challenges or financial pressures. This dedication builds a loyal audience and establishes you as a reliable creator.
16. Focus on Authentic, Quality Content
Invest heavily in the quality and authenticity of your content, paying attention to every detail from production to editing. This commitment to excellence will make your work stand out and be difficult for others to copy.
17. Improve Networking and Packaging
Actively work on networking with key decision-makers and professionally packaging your brand or company. This strategic effort can unlock larger deals and recognition that pure talent alone might not achieve.
18. Engage in Enjoyable Skill Development
Pursue activities and learn new skills for genuine enjoyment and to enhance your professional capabilities. This dedication to personal growth can lead to better performance and deeper understanding in your field.
6 Key Quotes
I literally wanted to kill myself, like, you know, I really, really did.
True Geordie
When you love someone more than anything else in this world, that matters more than anything. And where others would have capitalized on a sob story, she was far too precious for me to share. She was mine. She wasn't there for anyone else. She was just my mom.
True Geordie
Once you give it, there's no taking it back.
True Geordie
The day I don't need money anymore, that's going to be a scary day for the rest of the internet.
True Geordie
My emotional, compassionate side, my empathy, I think gives me something else.
True Geordie
I don't mind whether you like me or hate me. I'm actually fine with that. But if you insult me, that will hurt my feelings. So I'm choosing not to listen to either side because I truly don't care if you like me or hate me.
True Geordie