VP Of Meta: Running A Trillion Dollar Business With An Incurable Illness: Nicola Mendelsohn
Nicola Mendelsohn, Facebook's VP for EMEA, shares insights from her extraordinary career, navigating an incurable cancer diagnosis, and her intentional approach to leadership, personal growth, and the future of technology like the metaverse.
Deep Dive Analysis
18 Topic Outline
Early Life, Curiosity, and Parental Support
Experiences with Prejudice and Educational System Flaws
Transition to Advertising and Career Development
Lessons from Agency Life and Overcoming Weaknesses
The Decision to Join Facebook (Meta)
Intentionality in Personal and Professional Life
Diagnosis of Incurable Follicular Lymphoma
Coping with Cancer and Communicating with Family
Navigating Treatment and Publicly Sharing Her Story
The Impact of Health on Life Choices and Perspective
Mark Zuckerberg's Leadership and Meta's Strategic Pivots
Defining the Metaverse and Building with Guardrails
The Importance of Personalized Advertising
Career Advice: Understanding Strengths and Asking for What You Want
Leading with Empathy and Bringing Your Whole Self to Work
Encouraging Female Entrepreneurship and Addressing Gender Bias
Reframing the Work-Life Balance Question
Future Aspirations and Personal Reflections
6 Key Concepts
Follicular Lymphoma
An incurable blood cancer that Nicola Mendelsohn was diagnosed with. It often takes 2-3 years for diagnosis, but she was diagnosed in 5 days. Treatment involves a 'watch and wait' approach until necessary, as there is no known cure.
Watch and Wait (in cancer treatment)
A medical strategy for certain incurable cancers, like follicular lymphoma, where doctors monitor the disease without immediate intervention, waiting for progression or new treatments. Patients often refer to this as 'watch and worry' due to the anxiety it can cause.
Secondary Worrying
A concept described by Sheryl Sandberg, referring to the act of catastrophizing future negative events (e.g., 'chemo won't work, I'll die'). It involves giving away personal power, inflicting mental torture, and negatively impacting performance and overall well-being.
Individual Contributor (IC) Path
A career track within companies like Meta that allows employees to advance to very senior levels based on their specialized skills and direct contributions, without requiring them to take on people management responsibilities. This approach helps retain and motivate talent who excel in non-managerial roles.
Vision Writing
A personal practice where one writes down their goals and achievements for the upcoming year as if looking back from a year in the future. This is applied to personal life, work, and community, and sharing these written visions with others is believed to increase the likelihood of achieving them.
Personal Boundary Space (in Metaverse)
A feature implemented in Meta's metaverse products that creates a virtual 'four-foot' personal zone around a user's avatar. If another avatar approaches too closely, it gently pushes them away, designed to enhance user comfort and safety in immersive virtual environments.
11 Questions Answered
Nicola's father defended her questioning nature against a teacher's criticism, asserting that her personality would be her strength, which became a seminal moment of support. This highlights the importance of believing in and backing a child's individuality.
Nicola suggests that women often have exhaustive internal conversations before speaking, leading to missed opportunities. She advises trusting instincts, recognizing one's right to a seat at the table, and actively dismissing imposter syndrome to confidently voice opinions.
Nicola advises thorough business research, numerous informal conversations with industry insiders, creating pros and cons lists, and clearly understanding challenges and opportunities. Crucially, securing full family support is essential, especially for roles involving extensive travel or lifestyle changes.
Nicola emphasizes being as intentional about personal life as about work, recognizing they are not mutually exclusive. She highlights identifying one's 'North Star' (e.g., family) and making conscious choices, even if it means trading off certain career advancements, to achieve overall fulfillment.
Mark Zuckerberg communicates a clear vision and 'North Star,' provides explicit direction, and sets expectations. He cultivates a culture that embraces failure, encourages learning from mistakes, and applies those lessons, fostering agility through high conviction and bold decisions, such as halting meetings until mobile products were presented.
The metaverse is the next iteration of the internet, offering a much more immersive experience that enhances or enables activities not possible in real life. It represents a continuum of experiences utilizing AR, VR, and AI, poised to transform communication and interaction over the next five to ten years.
Meta is intentionally building guardrails from the outset by investing in research with academia and governments. This includes integrating diversity and equity into products (e.g., quintillions of avatar options) and implementing features like a 'personal boundary space' to protect user comfort in immersive environments.
Personalized advertising enables businesses, particularly small ones, to efficiently reach relevant customers genuinely interested in their products, fostering growth. It benefits consumers by helping them discover new brands and products, while preventing irrelevant ads from being shown to others.
Bringing one's whole self to work fosters an honest and supportive culture where employees feel comfortable sharing personal challenges (like health issues or family responsibilities) without fear of unfair judgment or being perceived as weak. This transparency ultimately leads to higher performance and happier employees.
Leaders can actively invite quiet women into conversations, share their own learning moments, and provide resources. Employers should implement strong maternity/paternity policies and promote women even during maternity leave. Programs like 'She Means Business' equip women with digital skills and networks to confidently start businesses.
This question is typically directed only at women, carrying an underlying bias that implies having a job makes one a 'bad mom.' It unnecessarily adds guilt and reinforces a societal prejudice that doesn't apply equally to men in similar roles.
23 Actionable Insights
1. Combat Secondary Worrying
When facing bad news or chaos, avoid catastrophizing or imagining worst-case scenarios; instead, focus on what you can control in the present moment and take things one day at a time.
2. Break Down Chaos
In chaotic moments, identify the small milestones you can control, focusing on one step at a time rather than being overwhelmed by the entire challenge, like climbing Everest base camp by base camp.
3. Apply Discipline to Personal Life
Be as intentional and disciplined about your personal life and core values (e.g., family) as you are about your work life, even if it means trading off career paths or promotions for greater fulfillment.
4. Proactively Ask for What You Want
Research your market value and clearly articulate your desires (e.g., pay raises, career opportunities) rather than passively accepting what’s offered, using data to support your case.
5. Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Challenge the fear of getting it wrong or being seen as stupid; trust your instincts and contribute your opinions to the conversation, especially if you are a woman.
6. Embrace Openness, Vulnerability
Sharing personal challenges, like a health diagnosis, can foster support and prevent the added burden of hiding, ultimately strengthening your mental resilience.
7. Reframe Nerves as Performance Fuel
View feelings of nervousness not as imposter syndrome but as a natural adrenaline rush, a signal to be fully prepared and on your ‘A game’ for important moments.
8. Practice Vision Writing
Write down your goals and aspirations as if they’ve already happened a year from now, covering personal, professional, and community aspects, and share them to increase accountability and likelihood of achievement.
9. Set Clear Objectives
In leadership, provide very clear direction, define measurable objectives, and communicate expectations to align teams and drive performance effectively.
10. Foster Learning from Failure
Create a safe environment where ambitious goals are set, and failures are seen as opportunities for learning, debriefing, and continuous improvement, like military operations.
11. Demonstrate High-Conviction Leadership
When making strategic pivots, show strong conviction through practical actions (e.g., refusing meetings on old priorities, reallocating resources) to drive rapid organizational change.
12. Be an Active Ally
As a leader or colleague, actively call out biases, invite quieter women into conversations, share stories of successful senior women, and promote women even during maternity leave to foster equity.
13. Normalize Paternity Leave
Encourage male employees to take paternity leave, as this sets an example for others, supports family well-being, and fosters a more equitable workplace culture.
14. Avoid Gender-Biased Questions
Refrain from asking women about ‘work-life balance,’ as it carries an implicit bias; instead, inquire about ’top tips’ for managing responsibilities to avoid perpetuating harmful stereotypes.
15. Prioritize Continuous Learning
Move on from roles or organizations when you stop learning or growing, seeking new opportunities that offer steep learning curves and align with an exciting vision.
16. Actively Seek Mentorship
Learn from experienced individuals and proactively solicit 360-degree feedback to understand how others perceive you and develop leadership muscles.
17. Embrace Curiosity, Questioning
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and push for deeper understanding, even if it challenges norms, as this drive for knowledge can shape your success.
18. Seek Believers in Potential
Identify and surround yourself with people, especially early in life, who believe in you and your potential, as their support can counteract negative influences.
19. Leverage Diverse Skill Sets
Recognize how skills gained from seemingly unrelated activities, like acting (confidence, presentation, teamwork), can be vital assets in your professional career.
20. Maintain Fulfilling Work
If well enough, continue engaging in work you love, as it can provide energy, purpose, and a sense of normalcy during challenging personal times.
21. Implement Intentional Lifestyle Changes
Proactively adjust diet, exercise, and other lifestyle factors based on scientific evidence (e.g., reducing inflammation) to improve health, especially when facing a chronic condition.
22. Use a Physical Alarm Clock
Keep your phone out of the bedroom and use a physical alarm clock to reduce distractions and improve sleep quality.
23. Support Female Entrepreneurship
Encourage and equip women with digital skills and networks to set up businesses, recognizing the significant economic and societal benefits of increased female entrepreneurship.
8 Key Quotes
I think it'll be my daughter's personality that gets her on in life, not what she does with Latin.
Nicola's Dad
You don't climb Everest. You get to Base Camp 1 and that's your thing. And then you work out how you get to two and you never climb Everest, you go from point to point.
An Everest climber (recounted by Nicola Mendelsohn)
We often don't put the discipline into our personal lives that we do in our work lives. And often our work lives are dictated by others. These things aren't mutually exclusive.
Nicola Mendelsohn
Just put that imposter syndrome away. It's really not a good thing, doesn't help any of us.
Nicola Mendelsohn
I've come to tell you that you could have destroyed my life. And the power that you wielded on others really could destroy.
Nicola Mendelsohn (to her English teacher)
I hope not. Gonna try my best. And what I promised them that day was that they could always ask me anything, there was never a question that they couldn't ask and that we would fight it as a family together.
Nicola Mendelsohn (to her son about dying)
Data wins arguments.
A poster at Meta (recounted by Nicola Mendelsohn)
Meetings are made for laughter.
A poster (recounted by Nicola Mendelsohn)
4 Protocols
Decision-Making Framework for New Roles
Nicola Mendelsohn- Research the business thoroughly.
- Have numerous informal 'cups of coffee' with people in and around the business to understand it better and interview them.
- Create lists of pros and cons for the opportunity.
- Identify challenges and things that need fixing, as well as existing strengths and opportunities.
- Reflect on initial notes after a few months in the role to track progress and learning.
Managing Cancer Diagnosis and Communication with Family
Nicola Mendelsohn- Process the initial shock and emotion privately (e.g., crying, catastrophizing).
- Decide to face the challenge 'one day at a time' and live fully, refusing to return to the initial state of despair.
- Tell immediate bosses, who offer support.
- Gather children (e.g., a week later, after significant family events) to deliver the news as a family.
- Be honest about the diagnosis, including its incurable nature, and promise open communication.
- Reassure children that questions are always welcome and that the family will fight it together.
- Emphasize that there is no shame in the illness.
Intentional Life Planning (Vision Writing)
Nicola Mendelsohn- Write down goals and aspirations as if it's a year from now, looking back on what has been achieved.
- Categorize goals across personal life, work, and community.
- Share these written goals with others to increase accountability and support.
- For family, sit together to discuss and plan desired experiences (e.g., travel, meals).
Career Advancement and Negotiation
Nicola Mendelsohn- Understand your own worth by researching the market and your value.
- Do your homework on your career path and what you want.
- Do not assume people know what you want; clearly state your desires (e.g., for a pay rise, promotion, or specific accounts).
- If negotiating a pay rise, present data on your market value, accomplishments, and how you met KPIs.
- If denied, ask for the reasoning and a clear path to get there, or consider if it's a wake-up call to seek opportunities elsewhere.