World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith

1. Filter Decisions Through Core Values

Use your core values (e.g., family well-being) as a “values filter” to guide decisions, ensuring choices align with what is most important to you and avoid detrimental effects.

2. Act on Values, Not Fleeting Feelings

Avoid making decisions solely based on immediate feelings, as this often leads to short-term relief but long-term stagnation; instead, align your actions with your core values to live a life of meaning.

3. Return to Human Basics

Re-prioritize fundamental human needs like sleep, nutrition, exercise, and genuine connection, as neglecting these basics in the modern world is a root cause of many perceived “flaws” or struggles.

4. Cultivate Quality Human Connection

Prioritize and cultivate good quality human connections, as they serve as an inherent stress resilience mechanism, physically altering how your body deals with stress.

5. Prioritize Sleep for Performance

Recognize sleep as crucial for mood and performance, and actively prioritize it, as chronic sleep deprivation negatively impacts how you feel and your effectiveness at work.

6. Make Gradual, Sustainable Changes

Meaningful and sustainable change is achieved gradually through a process of reflection, small actions, and re-evaluation, rather than drastic, quick shifts.

7. Build Confidence Through Repetitive Action

To build confidence, be willing to step out of your comfort zone and engage in manageable, repetitive actions in areas that make you nervous, as consistent practice makes them easier and builds mastery.

8. Use Breathwork to Reduce Anxiety

To quickly calm anxiety, practice slow breathing, specifically by extending and making your out-breath longer and more vigorous than your in-breath, which helps to slow down the body’s stress response.

9. Treat Emotions as Information

Instead of judging emotions, view them with curiosity as information from your brain, then explore what they are about and consciously decide how you want to respond in alignment with your values.

10. Detach from Intrusive Thoughts

Recognize that thoughts are simply ideas your brain offers, not necessarily reflections of who you are; allow them to exist without judgment, then consciously choose how much attention to give them.

11. Prioritize Self-Compassion

Focus on self-compassion, which involves doing what is best for yourself even when self-esteem is low, rather than solely relying on self-esteem, which is an evaluation that may not always be useful or accurate.

12. Manage Negative Feedback Response

Instead of trying to stop caring what people think, which is impossible, focus on how you manage your response to negative comments and thoughts that arise.

13. Combat Overload by Redefining Ideals

Challenge societal ideals of perfection in all life areas to avoid overextension and feelings of failure; instead, define what you want your life to look like, accepting that it’s okay for your goals to be smaller than others'.

14. Examine Coping Behaviors with Curiosity

When engaging in habitual coping behaviors (like overeating or excessive screen time), approach them with curiosity, not judgment, to understand their function and what uncomfortable feelings they are providing safety from.

15. Choose Long-Term Over Instant Relief

Be aware that habitual behaviors offering instant relief often keep you stuck in the long term; instead, choose harder, long-term strategies like sitting with difficult feelings and using coping skills.

16. Map Relationship Patterns via Reflection

Use journaling and reflection to map out recurring patterns in your relationships by detailing events, feelings, and responses, which helps you gain a “bird’s eye view” and identify cycles to potentially break.

17. Seek Trusted Friends for Perspective

When trying to understand and break difficult behavioral cycles, talk to trusted friends or loved ones to gain an external perspective and “fact-check” your own perceptions, as it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in the midst of it.

18. Gradually Engage with Emotions

If you tend to shut down emotionally, gradually open up to emotions in small, supported ways, starting with those that feel less overwhelming, to build coping skills without being completely overcome.

19. Embrace Mortality for Meaning

Acknowledge your own mortality not as a source of fear, but as a powerful motivator to live well, align with your values, practice gratitude, and make each day meaningful.

20. Conduct Regular Values Check-ins

Periodically assess different areas of your life by defining how you want to be and respond (your values), then rate how well you are currently living in alignment with those values to identify areas needing attention.

21. Uncover Core Beliefs in Relationships

Understand how early life relationships shape core beliefs and survival strategies, which then play out in adult relationships, often triggering distress when rules for living are broken.

22. Challenge Relationship Myths

Dispel common relationship myths, such as “love shouldn’t be hard” or “you always need to be together,” and instead focus on what genuinely works for your relationship, even if it deviates from societal expectations.

23. Follow Your Interests for Career

To find a job you love, consistently follow your interests and what excites you, rather than waiting for an epiphany moment, as this path is more likely to lead to fulfillment.

24. Shift Mood via Body and Connection

To quickly change your mood, utilize physical actions like exercise, music, singing, or human connection, as these can create significant emotional shifts by influencing your body.