The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals
Christine Bolger, Associate Director for Coaching at the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee, and Emilie Lazenby, coach, share how they teach well-being lessons to elite coaches. They discuss strategies for managing stress, avoiding burnout, and enhancing performance, applicable to everyday life.
Deep Dive Analysis
11 Topic Outline
Introduction to USOPC Coaching and Christine Bolger
The Neglected Field of Coaching Education
Mental Health and Personal Strains on Elite Coaches
Emily Lazenby and the Lack of Support for Coaches
Reframing Stress and Building Resilience
The Importance of Social Connection and Energy Givers
Prioritizing Daily Movement and Sleep for Coaches
Embracing Imperfect Self-Care and Radical Acceptance
Finding Your Purpose and Delegating Responsibilities
The Power of Empathy and Individualized Treatment
Celebrating the Journey and the Role of Play
5 Key Concepts
Stress as Enhancing
This mental model suggests viewing stress not as inherently negative, but as an opportunity for adaptation, growth, and persistence through challenges. By reframing stress, individuals can potentially utilize it to emerge stronger and more resilient.
Energy Givers
Energy givers are individuals in one's social network who bring joy and leave you feeling energized after interacting with them. The concept encourages intentionally surrounding oneself with these positive connections and setting boundaries with those who tend to deplete one's energy.
Sleep as Landing a Plane
This analogy, attributed to Matt Walker, describes sleep as a gradual process that requires time for the body and brain to wind down and build 'sleep pressure' before falling asleep, rather than an instant 'light switch' event. It highlights the need for a deliberate pre-sleep routine.
Excellence vs. Perfection
This concept distinguishes between striving for an unattainable ideal (perfection) and maximizing one's current capabilities (excellence). It encourages radical acceptance of one's present resource level (e.g., 30% capacity) and performing to the best of that ability, considering it a form of high performance.
True North (Purpose)
This refers to an individual's core motivation or 'why' behind their actions, especially in coaching. It encourages self-awareness to understand if one's purpose is genuinely for the athletes, for personal gain, or a combination, guiding decisions beyond just winning.
12 Questions Answered
Elite coaches face immense pressure to win, leading to overwork, skipping meals, and constant stress. They also experience job insecurity, financial instability, and significant personal strains due to extensive travel and time away from family.
Coaches are typically used to giving feedback, not receiving it, and asking for help requires a level of vulnerability that is often challenging for them to embrace.
One key strategy is to reframe stress as enhancing, viewing it as an opportunity for growth and adaptation. Another is to cultivate a network of 'energy givers' who boost your spirits and to set boundaries with those who deplete you.
Daily physical activity helps set a rhythm for the day, fuels the body and brain, and contributes to overall well-being. Coaches are encouraged to find ways they enjoy moving and integrate it as an asset rather than a chore to meet fitness goals.
Sleep is considered the number one essential factor. Coaches are taught to focus on 'resetting' after a bad night's sleep, using routines like warm showers, dark/cool rooms, and no screens to help their body and brain gradually prepare for rest, similar to 'landing a plane.'
Life is inherently imperfect, and striving for 100% perfect self-care often leads to giving up if a day is missed. Small, continuous efforts, even if imperfect, accumulate over time and are more adaptable to daily challenges and fluctuating energy levels.
The strategy involves radical acceptance of one's current capacity, acknowledging what can realistically be done that day, and labeling that effort as 'great performance' or 'excellence' rather than striving for an unrealistic ideal of perfection.
Coaches emphasize finding your 'true north' or 'why' you do what you do, beyond just achieving wins. This self-awareness helps ensure actions align with deeper values, whether for personal growth or supporting others.
Delegation is crucial because it empowers team members, makes them feel valued, and builds a necessary support system, preventing the head coach from breaking down. Lay people can learn to give others opportunities to contribute and potentially excel.
Instead of the common adage 'treat others as you would like to be treated,' the more effective approach is to 'treat others the way they'd like to be treated' because everyone is an individual with unique preferences and perspectives.
It's important to balance deliberate practice with 'play.' Play allows for experimentation, discovery, and fun, which can prevent the work from becoming mundane and help sustain engagement over thousands or millions of repetitions.
It's vital to celebrate the entire journey and the accomplishments along the way, not just the final outcome or a gold medal. Making the team, working hard, and building lifelong friendships are significant achievements worthy of gratitude and recognition.
17 Actionable Insights
1. Prioritize Sleep, Develop Reset Routines
Make sleep a top priority, as all other aspects of well-being are dependent on it; develop routines to help you reset after bad nights or irregular sleep patterns.
2. Embrace Imperfect, Continuous Self-Care
Understand that self-care doesn’t require perfection; instead, focus on making small, continuous additions and adaptations, as even imperfect attempts are valuable and accumulate over time.
3. Strive for Excellence, Not Perfection
Shift your mindset from striving for perfection to striving for excellence, which means maximizing the resources and capacity you have on any given day, even if it’s only 30%.
4. Radically Accept Current Capabilities
Practice radical acceptance by honestly assessing your current state and limitations, acknowledging what you can realistically do today, and being okay with that level of effort.
5. Reframe Stress as Enhancing
Reframe your perception of stress by asking if it is enhancing, which can help you utilize it to adapt, persist through challenges, and potentially grow stronger.
6. Identify Your Core Purpose
Reflect on and identify your ’true north’ or core purpose in your work or life, ensuring it extends beyond mere achievement to include being a good person or supporting others.
7. Embrace Vulnerability, Ask for Help
Be okay with asking for help and taking breaks, as this vulnerability is crucial for your own well-being and allows you to take better care of yourself ahead of time.
8. Seek Trusted Input & Connection
Actively seek out someone you can trust and relate to, inside or outside your field, to discuss challenges and gain input, as this social connection is vital for managing stress.
9. Cultivate Energy-Giving Relationships
Intentionally surround yourself with people who bring you joy and energy, particularly during difficult times, and set boundaries with those who tend to deplete your energy.
10. Use Movement as a Daily Asset
Integrate daily physical activity into your routine, not primarily for peak fitness, but as an asset to set a positive tone for the day, fuel your body and brain, and feel good.
11. Prepare for Sleep Like Landing a Plane
Approach sleep by giving your body and brain adequate time to wind down, creating a ’landing’ routine (e.g., warm showers, dark/cool room, no screens) rather than expecting instant sleep.
12. Focus on People, Not Just Sport
Understand that coaching (or any instructional role) is primarily about working with people, requiring self-awareness and being in tune with those you’re leading, listening to their feedback.
13. Be Attuned to Your Team’s Needs
Develop acute self-awareness and be deeply attuned to the people you work with, listening to feedback to know precisely when to push, pull back, change tactics, or allow for rest days.
14. Delegate to Empower and Build Support
Delegate tasks and ask for help to empower others, make them feel valued, and develop a stronger support system around you, preventing system breakdown.
15. Treat Others as They Wish
Adopt an individualized approach to interaction by treating others the way they would like to be treated, rather than how you would like to be treated, to foster deeper understanding.
16. Celebrate Journey and Accomplishments
Consciously celebrate not only your ultimate goals and wins but also the entire journey, the hard work, and the smaller accomplishments along the way, giving yourself credit for the effort.
17. Integrate Play into Work & Practice
Deliberately integrate elements of ‘play’ into your work and learning, allowing for experimentation, fun, and freedom to discover new things, which can prevent burnout and enhance intrinsic motivation.
5 Key Quotes
It may not be perfect, but it's excellence. And I think that's the difference, right? Is we're not striving for perfection, we're striving for excellence. And using the 30% that you have that day, to me, that's excellence.
Emily Lazenby
They say, treat others as you would like to be treated. The one lesson that I've learned is that's not accurate. Treat others the way they'd like to be treated because we're all individuals.
Christine Bolger
One of the saddest ironies, says Team USA's new guidelines, is that although coaches strive to provide an enjoyable and healthy experience for their athletes, too often they approach their job in a manner that has the opposite effect on their own well-being.
Dr. Laurie Santos
So it's funny. So on my call last night with the weightlifting coaches, the majority of them, their biggest struggle is movement. So they're like the stuff that I'm teaching every day. It's actually not unsurprising. It's like just adding more of that to their day feels like more.
Emily Lazenby
I hope that the athletes realize what a fantastic accomplishment it is for them to achieve, even making the team, and then going over to experience the games. And I think we have to think about that in our own lives.
Christine Bolger