Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking)

Oct 13, 2024 1h 56m 16 insights Episode Page ↗
This episode features Tristan DeMontebello, co-creator of UltraSpeaking and a World Championship of Public Speaking finalist, who shares actionable tactics and debunks misconceptions about public speaking. He demonstrates unique exercises and methods to help listeners become more comfortable and effective communicators.
Actionable Insights

1. Transformative Power of Speaking

Recognize that improving your speaking is a meta-skill that enhances all areas of your life, from professional growth to personal relationships, by boosting confidence and energy. The more constrained you feel, the more transformative it will be to tackle this skill.

2. Embrace Speaking as Subconscious Flow

Shift your mindset to view speaking as a natural, subconscious, flow-oriented process rather than a conscious, tactical one. The goal is to get into and stay in a flow state, allowing words to emerge naturally without overthinking.

3. Focus on Root Causes, Not Symptoms

Instead of addressing surface-level symptoms like filler words, identify and solve their root causes, such as discomfort with slowing down or pausing. This approach leads to more profound and lasting improvements in your communication.

4. Use Enjoyment as a Speaking Barometer

If you find speaking unenjoyable, it’s a strong indicator that you are likely overthinking or approaching it incorrectly. Aim to relax and speak more like your natural self, as communication is inherently rewarding when done authentically.

5. Practice Speaking Consistently and Enjoyably

To genuinely improve, actively engage in speaking practice rather than just consuming content about it. Ensure your practice is structured, fun, and intrinsically rewarding to maintain long-term motivation and avoid quitting.

6. Prepare Talks with the Accordion Method

Develop your talks by speaking, not writing, using a structured process of compressing content from longer to shorter durations (e.g., 3 minutes down to 30 seconds) to find its essence. Then, expand back up to internalize the talk, gaining clarity and making it adaptable to different timeframes.

7. Structure Talks with the Bow and Arrow

Shift your focus from what you want to say to what you want your audience to remember, identifying one core ‘arrow’ (a single, memorable sentence) as your North Star. Support this ‘arrow’ by pulling back the ‘bow’ with compelling anecdotes, data points, or stories to maximize its impact.

8. Adopt a ‘Think Up’ Gaze

When pausing to gather your thoughts, consciously look up instead of down. This simple tweak makes you appear thoughtful and confident, reduces the likelihood of interruptions, and improves how your audience perceives you.

9. ‘End Strong’ in Your Communication

Avoid tapering off or expressing self-doubt at the conclusion of your statements, as people tend to remember the ending of an experience most vividly. Use summary prompts like ‘So to wrap up…’ to confidently land your points and leave a strong, positive impression.

10. ‘Stay in Character’ by Not Leaking

Resist the urge to verbalize your internal insecurities or perceived mistakes during a talk, as your audience often cannot discern your nervousness. Maintaining a composed and confident demeanor throughout reinforces positive perception and prevents self-sabotage.

11. Use Games for Deliberate Practice

Incorporate short, deliberate practice sessions using ‘games’ that provide immediate feedback, such as those offered by UltraSpeaking. This method makes learning enjoyable, helps internalize communication skills, and builds confidence in navigating unexpected situations.

12. Cultivate Resilience with Triple Step

Practice integrating random words into a spontaneous speech (like the Triple Step game) to build mental resilience and adaptability. This exercise helps you stay focused and composed even when faced with distractions or unexpected challenges in real-time communication.

13. Enhance Conviction with Prompt Games

Engage in games that use ‘conviction prompts’ (sentence beginnings designed to elicit a strong stance) in spontaneous speaking. This practice helps develop executive presence, forcing you to care more about what you’re saying and deliver ideas with greater belief and impact.

14. Think Out Loud for Natural Insights

When speaking, aim to ’think out loud’ rather than meticulously scripting or overthinking. This approach allows new insights and connections to emerge organically, fostering more authentic, engaging, and spontaneous communication.

15. Design Slides with a ‘One Thing’ Focus

For presentations, ensure each slide has one clear, singular takeaway you want the audience to remember. A pro tip is to make this ‘one thing’ the exact title of the slide for maximum clarity and impact.

16. Don’t Fear the ‘Bullshitter’ Label

If you worry about sounding inauthentic when speaking freely, it indicates you possess an acute awareness of genuine communication, which prevents you from becoming a ‘bullshitter.’ Embrace free expression, trusting your internal compass to guide your authenticity.