Ashley Walters (Top Boy): "Me & Kano Didn't Have The Greatest Time!". The Unheard TRUTH About Top Boy, Career Rejection & Personal Grief!

Sep 14, 2023 1h 42m 19 insights
Ashley Walters, actor and musician, shares his journey from a traumatic childhood marked by an absent father and anger, to finding success in entertainment. He discusses the profound impact of his father's death, his struggles with self-worth, and the lessons learned about communication, forgiveness, and the value of the journey over the destination.
Actionable Insights

1. Seek Professional Help for Trauma

If you have a lot of trauma that has stuck with you, seek therapy and counseling to understand and process its impact on your life and behavior. This can help you address negative attitudes and self-perception.

2. Reflect on Early Life Context

Delve into your earliest life experiences and context to understand the subconscious forces that shape your adult behavior and self-perception. This reflection is crucial for personal growth and undoing negative patterns.

3. Don’t Blindly Trust Inner Voice

Be wary of your inner voice, especially if it’s biased or driven by emotions like anger, fear, or jealousy, as it can lead to poor decisions. Try to quiet it and seek external perspectives before acting.

4. Consult Others Before Deciding

When facing difficult decisions or strong emotions, seek external perspectives from trusted individuals like family or partners. Avoid making choices solely based on your own emotional state or inner voice.

5. Practice Forgiveness for Personal Freedom

Work on forgiving those who have hurt you, as holding grudges primarily harms yourself and keeps you a ‘prisoner’ of your past. Forgiveness is a powerful act of self-liberation.

6. Disregard Others’ Opinions

Work on understanding that someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business, especially if you constantly feel ’not good enough.’ This helps in overcoming self-doubt and the fear of being judged.

7. Accept Imperfection and Adapt

Recognize that nothing can be perfect and be more willing to adapt and accept that things won’t always go your way. Good things happen when you are open to this mindset.

8. Enjoy and Utilize Your Journey

Focus on enjoying the process and challenges of your journey, as the most fulfilling parts of achievement often occur along the way. Understand that the destination itself can sometimes be less exciting than the path taken.

9. Confront Your Inner Flaws

Be prepared to sit with your thoughts and confront your flaws when external distractions, like work, are removed. Continuous distraction can prevent you from addressing underlying personal issues.

10. Learn to Communicate Emotionally

Develop the ability to communicate your emotions and listen to others without immediately trying to ‘fix’ the problem. This skill is crucial for deep connection in relationships and may require learning new behaviors.

11. Prioritize Presence with Children

Be present and available for your children, actively engaging in their lives and taking on adult responsibilities. Neglecting this can lead to distance and a lack of trust in your relationships with them later in life.

12. Know Your Personal Origins

Gain a better understanding of where you come from, including your family history and values, to better understand your own traits and feelings. This provides a crucial reference point for self-awareness.

13. Don’t Rely on Material Success

Avoid hiding your true self behind material possessions or external achievements, as these are meaningless in defining your worth. True self-worth comes from within, not from what you own or achieve.

14. Build Strong Relationships and Reputation

Cultivate a reputation for humility, kindness, and giving back, treating people as well as you can. This ‘invisible PR’ helps maintain long-term relationships and support, even when you make mistakes.

15. Transform Rejection into Motivation

When faced with rejection or told you ‘can’t do something,’ use it as driving motivation to find ways to achieve your goals. Instead of giving up, silently strategize how to overcome the obstacles.

16. Demand Opportunity to Try

Advocate for the opportunity to try your ideas and bring your perspective to the table, even if there’s a risk of failure. Regret can stem from not pursuing opportunities when told ’no.’

17. Fight for Creative Integrity

When involved in creative projects, push back and fight for what you believe in, ensuring scripts are authentic and characters are well-represented. This dedication to creative input can significantly enhance the quality of the work.

18. Deeply Embody Your Role

For demanding roles or tasks, immerse yourself in experiences that help you genuinely understand and embody the character or situation. Sometimes, just technical skill isn’t enough; you need to feel it.

19. Allow for Vulnerability in Preparation

Avoid over-preparing to the point where it stifles vulnerability, especially in creative or performance-based tasks. Leave room for spontaneity and genuine emotion to emerge.