E51: The Certainty Of Unexpected Chaos

1. Prioritize Long-Term Values

Actively keep your long-term values and highest aspirations at the forefront of your mind, especially during chaotic times, to resist the pull of unhelpful short-term desires and ensure your actions align with your deeper goals.

2. Control Thoughts and Actions

Focus on controlling your thoughts and actions, as these are the only things truly within your power, especially during periods of isolation or uncertainty, to shift from a victim mindset to mastering your destiny.

3. Practice Metacognition

Develop the habit of “thinking about your thinking” (metacognition) by analyzing your thoughts, assessing their quality and usefulness, and intervening to correct negative patterns, as worry is an activity you can learn to do less often.

4. Own Your Reaction

In times of crisis, take full responsibility for your reactions and actions, focusing on what you can control and planning practical steps forward, rather than trying to control external circumstances or falling into blame.

5. Cultivate Self-Compassion

When you make mistakes or fail, practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same honesty, support, and understanding you would offer a good friend, rather than engaging in destructive self-criticism.

6. Define Your Own Desires

Actively define your own desires based on your intrinsic self, rather than allowing societal pressures, peer influence, or consumerism to dictate what you should want, to avoid future dissatisfaction and midlife crises.

7. Choose Intrinsic Desires

Be highly selective about your desires, ensuring they are intrinsically motivated and align with your truest self, rather than external validation or societal pressures, to avoid perpetual dissatisfaction and find genuine fulfillment.

8. Invest in Happiness Dividends

Intentionally seek out and invest in things that pay continuous “happiness dividends,” such as relationships (children, pets, friends), helping others, the process of striving, and gratitude, rather than perishable goods or material possessions that offer fleeting pleasure.

9. Systemize Value Reinforcement

Create systems, like a daily updated net worth document for financial values, to constantly remind yourself of your long-term values, making it easier to resist short-term temptations and align daily actions with your aspirations.

10. Reframe Difficult Environments

View challenging or restrictive environments, like isolation, as opportunities for personal growth, spiritual development, mental resilience, and physical health improvement.

11. Establish Core Principles

Develop a set of clear, inflexible principles to guide what you believe when consuming information and engaging in self-talk, which helps manage emotions and improves thinking, especially in a world of misinformation.

12. Unoptimize Daily Life

Intentionally “unoptimize” aspects of your life by re-engaging in basic human activities like cooking, walking, and in-person conversations, to rediscover lost pleasures and reconnect with what truly matters.

13. Exercise for Mental Health

Prioritize daily exercise, ideally in nature, not just for physical appearance but primarily for its profound benefits on mental well-being, especially when external activities are restricted.

14. Practice Morning Stillness

Dedicate time each morning, especially upon waking, to create a moment of stillness and focus on your breathing to clear your mind and positively impact the rest of your day.

15. Journal for Self-Therapy

Regularly write, journal, or use another medium to express yourself, as this practice serves as a cost-effective way to process thoughts and act as your own psychological therapist.

16. Gamify Habit Formation

Use a habit-tracking app, like “Streak,” to gamify the process of building daily routines by visually reinforcing your progress and making it easier to stick to desired behaviors.

17. Create Bespoke Relationship Models

Challenge traditional relationship structures and societal expectations by designing “bespoke” models for your romantic relationships that genuinely fit your and your partner’s individual needs, goals, and personalities.

18. Keep Relationships Intrinsic

Maintain the intrinsic and private nature of your romantic relationships, avoiding excessive public sharing on social media, as external validation can detract from the genuine internal belonging and love that should be its core purpose.

19. Appreciate Core Privileges

Cultivate gratitude for fundamental privileges such as a functional society, good health, and youth, recognizing their immense value, especially when they are threatened, to inspire a more purposeful and less risk-averse approach to life.