Former FBI Agent: If They Do This Please RUN! Narcissists Favourite Trick To Control You! They're Controlling You Like A Puppet!

Apr 21, 2025 2h 26m 17 insights
Joe Navarro, former FBI agent and body language expert, shares insights on decoding human behavior. He discusses strategies for building confidence, mastering negotiations through nonverbal cues and psychological comfort, and identifying toxic personalities, emphasizing the profound importance of human connection.
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Psychological Comfort

Create a welcoming environment by offering drinks, ensuring quiet surroundings, and allowing others to tell their story. Humans instinctively seek psychological comfort, and providing it first is key to successful interactions and negotiations.

2. Master Nonverbal Communication

Recognize that nonverbals are the primary means of communication, showing care, trust, and empathy across cultures. Actively use gestures, posture, and expressions to convey your message and understand others more effectively.

3. Build Confidence Incrementally

Start by becoming confident in one small, specific area, then gradually expand to others. Deep knowledge of a subject also significantly boosts confidence, allowing you to speak with authority and presence.

4. Control Negotiations Strategically

Dominate negotiations by controlling time, slowing down the pace, and carefully planning seating arrangements to subtly position yourself higher. Offer comfort items like drinks to establish an archetypal parent figure role, gaining psychological leverage.

5. Address Negative Emotions First

Allow time for negative emotions to be vented and de-escalated before transitioning to transactional discussions. The emotional brain can hijack neural activity, making productive conversation difficult until discomfort is addressed.

6. Develop Acute Observational Skills

Actively observe people, events, and opportunities, as great inventions and problem-solving often stem from keen observation. When hiring, prioritize candidates who can detail problems they’ve solved and demonstrate strong observational abilities.

7. Convey Care Through Prompt Action

Demonstrate genuine care by acting quickly and responsively, as movement is instinctively equated with caring. Avoid unnecessary delays or indifference, which can signal a lack of concern to others.

8. Avoid a Still Face in Meetings

Do not maintain a still or blank expression during meetings or virtual calls, as it can be perceived as a threat and lead to a loss of trustworthiness. Instead, nod, tilt your head, and use varied gestures to remain engaged and approachable.

9. Cultivate a Command Voice and Cadence

Develop a deeper, lower-toned voice and practice speaking with deliberate cadence, especially when conveying authority or saying “no.” This approach commands attention, allows others to process information, and enhances the power of your message.

10. Plan Interactions Meticulously

Prepare for important conversations and negotiations in exquisite detail, considering who enters first, seating arrangements, and when to offer refreshments. This meticulous planning establishes control and provides a psychological advantage.

11. Manage Narcissistic Personalities

Recognize that narcissists overvalue themselves, devalue others, lack loyalty, and are inherently toxic. Do not try to win or change them; instead, plan an exit strategy as prolonged proximity will lead to physical, mental, emotional, or financial victimization.

12. Execute a Proper Handshake

When shaking hands, keep fingers low, apply equal pressure, and avoid excessive squeezing or jerking. Maintain a firm yet gentle grip, and for closer rapport, briefly touch the other person’s upper arm.

13. Minimize In-Conversation Note-Taking

Avoid constant writing during a conversation, as it detracts from crucial observation and facial interaction. Make only brief notes for critical points, prioritizing engagement and nonverbal communication over extensive record-keeping.

14. Use Steepling for Emphasis

Employ the “steeple” gesture (fingertips touching, palms apart) at key moments to project confidence and emphasize important points. Reserve this powerful nonverbal for strategic impact rather than constant use.

15. Utilize Open Hand Gestures

When pointing, use your full hand in a vertical position rather than a single finger, which is more aesthetically pleasing and commanding. Spread your fingers wide to convey care and confidence, as opposed to keeping them tightly together, which can signal fear.

16. Communicate Respect with Eye Contact

Maintain appropriate eye contact by focusing on the other person’s face, avoiding downward gazes that can be misconstrued. Use eye gaze to emphasize points or subtly convey opinions, but also look away naturally when thinking to avoid intimidation.

17. Avoid Neck Touching and Ventilating

Refrain from touching or covering your neck, or engaging in ventilating behaviors (like fanning yourself) during negotiations or stressful situations. These actions transmit weakness and reveal psychological discomfort.