Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024!

Dec 4, 2023 1h 36m 12 insights
Mel Robbins, an expert on confidence and motivation, joins to discuss how to overcome feeling stuck and make significant life changes. She shares the 'Let Them' theory, strategies for discerning right decisions, and the importance of action over motivation, alongside personal insights into ADHD and menopause.
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace the ‘Let Them’ Theory

Stop trying to control everyone around you, as this wastes immense energy and ruins relationships. By saying ’let them,’ you acknowledge what’s happening, reduce personal stress, and are forced to look back at yourself and take responsibility for your own needs and desires.

2. Prioritize Action Over Motivation

Do not rely on motivation, as it’s often absent when needed. Instead, make a decision to act like the person you want to become, even if you don’t feel like it. Consistent action changes how you view yourself, leading to faster personal transformation.

3. Listen to Your Inner Compass

Trust your natural intelligence and inner compass, which constantly signals what is uniquely aligned for you. The challenge isn’t the signal’s accuracy, but your courage to follow it, as it often requires stepping into the new and uncertain.

4. Discern Decisions by Feeling

When making a decision, get quiet and notice how it feels. A decision aligned with your true self will bring a sense of expansion and possibility, even if scary, while a wrong decision will evoke feelings of shrinking, constraint, or depletion.

5. Reverse the Action Chain

Understand that sensations, perceptions, feelings, and thoughts typically precede action. To change unwanted patterns, reverse this order by taking action first, rather than waiting for positive emotions or thoughts to drive your behavior.

6. Accept Discomfort for Growth

Recognize that you may never ’like’ doing certain necessary things (e.g., exercising, healthy eating), but you can still choose to do them. This commitment to action, despite discomfort, prevents emotions and fears from controlling your life.

7. Prioritize Your Peace

Actively choose to ‘stay in your peace and stay in your power’ by not allowing yourself to be agitated or frustrated by others’ actions. This involves letting people have their emotional reactions without taking responsibility for managing them.

8. Audit Your Life Before Setting Goals

Before setting new goals, conduct an honest assessment of where you currently stand in various life categories (e.g., relationships, health, finances) by ranking them. This provides a clear starting point and helps define realistic next steps for improvement.

9. Use Jealousy as a Dream Indicator

Pay attention to who you are jealous of or inspired by, as jealousy is often ‘blocked desire.’ This emotion can reveal authentic dreams and desires, pointing you in a new direction by showing you what you genuinely want but might subconsciously believe you can’t have.

10. Address Underlying Trauma for ADHD

If you or a loved one has an ADHD diagnosis, especially as an adult woman, consider the potential link to childhood trauma. Understanding this connection can help address underlying issues like anxiety and guide a more effective path to healing and symptom management.

11. Rewire Your Nervous System

Undertake the long-term challenge of rewiring your nervous system to deprioritize pathways driven by trauma, fear, or anxiety. This involves gaining self-awareness and utilizing tools like therapy and behavioral activation to prevent these default responses from controlling your life.

12. Cultivate Hope for Change

If you feel stuck or on a downward spiral, actively seek out stories of others who have overcome similar challenges. This can ignite a ‘what if?’ moment, providing the hope necessary to believe that change is possible and worth pursuing.