Moment 103 - Trauma Expert: How To Take Back Control Of Your Life: Gabor Mate

Mar 31, 2023 13m 21s 9 insights
This episode explores how unconscious trauma acts as a "puppet master" controlling our lives. It delves into understanding addiction as an attempt to escape pain, emphasizing awareness and various therapeutic modalities for liberation.
Actionable Insights

1. Shift Addiction Inquiry

Instead of asking why an addiction exists, ask why the underlying pain exists. This reframes the problem to address the root cause of suffering, rather than just the coping mechanism.

2. Identify Addiction’s Hidden Benefit

When addressing an addiction, first ask what benefit it provides, as this reveals a valid human need. Then, explore healthier ways to fulfill that need without causing long-term harm.

3. Cultivate Awareness of Trauma

Recognize that unconscious trauma can act as a ‘puppet master’ driving your reactions. This awareness alone slackens the strings of past trauma, reducing its automatic control over your present behavior.

4. Befriend Your Trauma Response

View the ‘puppet master’ of trauma as a desperate part of yourself that once tried to help you survive. Make friends with it by acknowledging its past role and gently relieving it of its duties, asserting that you can handle things now.

5. Redefine Addiction as Relationship

Understand that addiction is not in the behavior itself, but in your relationship to it. If an activity provides temporary relief or pleasure, but causes long-term harm and you can’t stop, it’s an addiction, regardless of the activity.

6. Recognize Suffering as First Step

The initial step towards relieving suffering is recognizing its source and acknowledging that your current reality does not have to be the way it is. This realization is a huge leap towards change.

7. Explore Diverse Paths to Awareness

Utilize various modalities such as yoga, meditation, nature, bodywork (somatic experiencing, craniosacral, massage), journaling, and therapy to deepen your self-awareness and address underlying issues.

8. Avoid Resisting Trauma Directly

Do not try to push against the strings of trauma, as this keeps you reactive and in a state of automatic resistance. True freedom comes from awareness and integration, not forceful opposition.

9. Recognize Work as Potential Addiction

Be aware that even work can become an addiction, providing temporary relief or a sense of worth while causing long-term harm. Workaholism can chase the same brain chemicals as other addictions.