Moment 109 - How to Overcome & Push Through Your Hardest Times: John Eckbert

May 12, 2023 15m 16s 10 insights
The speaker recounts navigating a painful divorce and the "Leave to Remove" process, which separated him from his children. He discusses how work provided stability and purpose during this time, and shares insights on coping with chaos, focusing on controllables, and fostering an honest work culture.
Actionable Insights

1. Focus on Controllable Factors

Allocate your mental energy and time solely to things you can control, as focusing on uncontrollable aspects leads to distraction and distress. This is your job as a human, and ignoring it is “arrogance and ignorance.”

2. Prioritize Present Moment Focus

On tough days, commit 100% of your mental energy to what you can control today. Dwelling on the past can lead to depression, and worrying about the future causes anxiety, whereas focusing on the present is conducive to both success and mental health.

3. Leaders Publicly Own Mistakes

As a leader, publicly acknowledge and own your mistakes, such as admitting you were wrong or “off your game” in a previous meeting. This gives everyone else permission to be honest, challenge power with truth, and fosters a culture where changing one’s mind is acceptable.

4. Cultivate Truth-Telling Culture

Actively foster an environment where team members can confront power with truth, telling leaders when they’ve “fucked up” or made unhelpful comments. This prevents the “emperor has no clothes” syndrome, which is dangerous for a business by addressing blind spots.

5. Practice Daily Consistency

In difficult times, adopt the habit of “just keep showing up” and doing the next thing, even when motivation is low. Consistent daily effort, like practicing an instrument, can lead to competence and help you navigate through challenging periods.

6. Utilize Work as Productive Escape

During periods of intense personal anxiety or chaos, immerse yourself in productive work for several hours a day. This can be “enormously relieving” by allowing you to set aside personal anxieties and focus on something you’re good at that makes a difference.

7. Maintain Human Connection

Recognize human connection as a core purpose in life and actively work to maintain it, even through difficult separations. Being present and in touch with loved ones, even imperfectly, is crucial.

8. Reframe Adversity for Growth

View deeply upsetting life events as opportunities for personal growth and “the making of you.” Experiencing loss can enable you to connect more deeply and empathetically with others facing similar challenges.

9. Seek Community and Shared Purpose

Find satisfaction and belonging by being part of a larger community or organization that shares a common vision and mission. Working towards a collective goal can provide enormous satisfaction and a sense of belonging.

10. Trust in Higher Power/Life

When faced with uncontrollable circumstances, cultivate a belief in a higher power or trust that “something” will make things okay. This mindset can provide comfort and help navigate uncertainty.