Moment 113 - Why You're Not Having Sex & How To Get It Back: Jay Shetty

Jun 9, 2023 17m 8s 9 insights
This episode discusses the declining rates of sex in relationships, emphasizing that genuine intimacy, self-care, and open communication are foundational for a healthy sex life. It also examines the impact of porn on expectations and offers strategies for fostering deeper connection.
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Vulnerability Through Conversation

Engage in difficult and vulnerable conversations with your partner, as this emotional openness is a necessary precursor for deep physical intimacy and connection.

2. Water Your Relationship Daily

Actively develop intimacy through shared experiences, education, and engaging in service together, as these actions foster closeness that naturally leads to physical intimacy.

3. Interview, Don’t Interrogate Your Partner

Approach sensitive discussions with your partner, like porn use, with empathy and curiosity, aiming to understand their perspective rather than judging or accusing them.

4. Practice Dating Celibacy

Consider refraining from sex for a committed period when dating a new person to make clearer decisions about true intimacy and connection, as sex can impair judgment.

5. Redirect Sexual Energy Creatively

Re-utilize the energy typically spent on romantic pursuits or sexual activity towards creative endeavors and self-work, which can accelerate personal growth and achievement.

6. Sex is a Byproduct of Connection

Understand that great sex naturally arises from a foundation of strong connection, intimacy, and mutual growth in a relationship, rather than being a standalone source or replacement for it.

7. Avoid Sex as a Relationship Crutch

Do not use sex to resolve arguments or problems, as the chemicals released can create a false sense of closeness without addressing underlying emotional issues.

8. Avoid Porn for Intimacy

Recognize that using porn as an escape can rewire your brain, leading to unrealistic sexual expectations and potentially diminishing pleasure from conventional sex.

9. Challenge Social Media Sex Perceptions

Be aware that social media often presents a false image of widespread sexual activity; statistics show people are having less sex, which can help manage personal expectations.