Moment 27 - How To Become The Person You Want To Be: Prof. Steve Peters

Oct 14, 2021 11m 43s 6 insights
This episode explores the mind's "human" (rational) and "chimp" (emotional) circuits, explaining how they influence self-image, values, and behavior. It provides a method to identify your true character traits and manage the chimp's interference.
Actionable Insights

1. Define Your Ideal Self

Write down the perfect person you want to be, focusing on character traits like compassion, honesty, and integrity, rather than achievements or external drives. This list reveals your true self, representing your core human circuit.

2. Manage Your Inner Chimp

Take 100% responsibility for managing your “chimp” circuit, which can cause immediate, emotional reactions. When your chimp interferes and leads to undesirable behavior, apologize and correct it, as it’s not an excuse for your actions.

3. Identify True Intrinsic Drives

Distinguish between genuine intrinsic drives (e.g., need for security, food) and external values or behaviors (e.g., desire for recognition, approval) often influenced by social pressures. This helps you understand what truly motivates you versus what you’ve adopted.

4. Limit Approval Seeking

Recognize that the innate drive for approval, stemming from primitive needs, should be limited to your “immediate troop” (close circle). Disregard the need for approval from the wider world, especially on social media, as it’s not relevant to your core well-being.

5. Separate Hopes from Demands

Differentiate between what you hope to achieve (human circuit, accepting potential failure) and what you feel you “have to” achieve (chimp circuit, leading to stress). Accepting that desired outcomes may not happen allows for a more rational and less stressful approach.

6. Recognize Chimp Interference

Be aware that your “chimp” circuit can interfere with your true, compassionate intentions, causing immediate, unthoughtful reactions. Understanding this neuroscience helps you avoid self-blame when your actions temporarily don’t align with your core character.