Moment 35 - Why You’re (Not) A Failure: Elizabeth Day

Dec 9, 2021 9m 34s 8 insights
This episode explores how societal expectations shape our definitions of failure and success, often leading to unhappiness. The guest discusses her journey of redefining personal success, embracing vulnerability, and finding internal validation to live an authentic, integrated life.
Actionable Insights

1. Challenge Societal Life Plans

Actively question if your life’s plan truly reflects your desires or if it’s a byproduct of external societal conditioning, as these external pressures can lead to feelings of failure.

2. Seek Internal Validation

Shift your source of self-worth from external opinions and achievements to internal validation and the opinions of your cornerstone relationships, as outsourcing self-worth leads to a never-ending pursuit of approval.

3. Redefine Failure and Success

Understand that failure is often a byproduct of social expectations, and success is about being your authentic, integrated self across all areas of life, rather than meeting external benchmarks.

4. Embrace Vulnerability for Connection

Practice vulnerability in your interactions, as it is presented as the genuine source of true connection with others.

5. Find Meaning in Adversity

Believe that traumatic or devastating experiences hold meaning that will unfold over time, offering lessons you needed to learn, even if not immediately apparent.

6. Embrace a Plan-less Future

View having no concrete plan for the future not as terrifying, but as an enormous opportunity to redefine your life according to your true self once pretenses are stripped away.

7. Avoid People-Pleasing

Recognize and actively work against the tendency to be an “inveterate people-pleaser,” which often stems from early conditioning and can lead to outsourcing your sense of self-worth.

8. Learn Lessons From Repetition

Pay attention to recurring challenges or “lessons” in your life, as the universe may keep sending them until you truly learn what you need to.