Sex Scientist: Phone Addiction Is Killing Your Sex Life More Than Porn!

1. Develop a Personal Code

Establish a personal code based on positive masculine attributes: be a provider (economically relevant), a protector (develop skills to protect others), and a procreator (channel desire for relationships to become a better man). This code helps in making a higher proportion of good decisions daily.

2. Prioritize Service Over Attention

Strive to add surplus value by creating more tax revenue and jobs than you absorb, listening more than you complain, and loving more than you are loved. This shift in focus is key to becoming a man and finding deep satisfaction.

3. Embrace Rejection for Growth

Actively seek out situations where you might be told ’no,’ viewing rejection as a goal to build resilience and perseverance. This willingness to anticipate and endure ’no’ is crucial for success in all aspects of life.

4. Reallocate Time from Digital Distractions

Identify and drastically reduce time spent on addictive digital platforms like TikTok, X, porn, and gambling sites (e.g., 8 hours weekly). Reallocate this time into productive activities like fitness, work, and social engagement.

5. Build Physical Strength and Fitness

Work out at least three times a week, focusing on building strength or endurance, as physical activity is a powerful antidepressant and foundational for male well-being. Aspire to be physically capable and strong.

6. Gain Economic Experience Outside Home

Seek employment outside your home, even in entry-level positions, to gain a taste for earning money and learn about capitalism. This economic viability is crucial for self-esteem and societal esteem for men.

7. Engage in Group Activities with Purpose

At least three times a month, participate in group settings like nonprofits, church groups, or sports leagues to achieve something great in the agency of others. This fosters connection and a sense of belonging.

8. Practice Social and Romantic Approaches

Actively approach people to express friendship or romantic interest, understanding that respectful overtures are generally well-received and rejection builds character. This helps develop essential social skills.

9. Modulate Big Tech Product Use

Consciously manage your engagement with big tech products to avoid being sequestered and to ensure you develop real-world relationship skills. Big tech algorithms are designed to monetize your time, often at the expense of genuine connection.

10. Seek Male Mentorship for Young Men

Men should actively step up to mentor young men who lack male role models, offering simple guidance and showing genuine interest in their lives. This is an easy and highly rewarding way to add value and address a societal need.

11. Cultivate Courage by Accepting Impermanence

Embrace the understanding that in 100 years, no one will care about your mistakes or perceived failures, which can provide immense courage to take risks and express genuine emotions. This mindset liberates you from excessive self-consciousness.

12. Be Accountable and Proactive in Relationships

Embrace accountability, empathy, and proactive romantic gestures (e.g., giving flowers, compliments) in relationships, rather than avoiding difficult conversations or obligations. This fosters deeper connection and mutual respect.

13. Recognize Porn’s Impact on Motivation

Be aware that excessive consumption of lifelike porn can reduce the healthy motivation to engage in real-world dating, take social risks, and develop essential relationship skills. This can lead to a lack of ‘healthy fire’ for real connection.

14. Consider Alcohol for Social Connection

For individuals without a history of addiction, alcohol in moderation can serve as a social lubricant that lowers inhibitions and facilitates bonding in group settings. However, avoid using substances alone or when needing to be on point the next day.

15. Approach Cannabis Use with Awareness

THC use is highly individual; young males with predispositions to psychosis or bipolar disorder should be cautious, and those struggling with apathy, obesity, or addiction should avoid it. High-agency individuals may use it for focus or sleep, but be aware of its impact on REM sleep.

16. Leverage Testosterone Therapy

For appropriate individuals, testosterone replacement therapy can enhance physical strength, sexual function, and overall vigor, making you feel younger. Always pursue this under the guidance and supervision of a doctor.

17. Embrace Aspirational Masculinity

Celebrate positive masculine traits like initiation, healthy aggressiveness, and the willingness to take good risks for the benefit of the community. This involves threading the needle between valor and cruelty, aiming to be invaluable in a shipwreck but acceptable at a dance.

18. Be Wary of Anger’s Self-Reinforcement

Understand that the brain’s circuits for anger and frustration are highly self-reinforcing and do not satiate, creating a constant state of arousal. Cultivate self-awareness to manage this, as it can be exploited by platforms and lead to depletion.

19. Challenge Unrealistic Dating Expectations

Recognize that many fears around dating, such as being labeled ‘creepy’ or ‘canceled,’ are often exaggerated; respectful approaches are generally fine. Statistically, the risks of harm on dates with strangers are significantly lower than commonly perceived.