The Body Language Expert: 4 Body Language Tricks That Will Make Them Love You And Respect You! - Doctor Amy Cuddy

Aug 31, 2023 1h 28m 16 insights
Dr. Amy Cuddy, an expert on the behavioral science of power, discusses how body language impacts our feelings, first impressions, and life outcomes. She explains how small physical changes can foster a sense of personal power, reduce imposter syndrome, and improve communication and attractiveness.
Actionable Insights

1. Fake It Till You Become It Mindset

Adopt expansive behaviors not to deceive others, but to genuinely feel powerful, understand your true self, and overcome fears, ultimately transforming into the person you aspire to be.

2. Cultivate a Positive Self-Narrative

Actively shape the story you tell yourself about your capabilities and worth, as positive personal narratives are linked to living longer and experiencing better health outcomes.

3. Practice Value-Based Self-Affirmation

List your top 2-3 core values, then write about a time you expressed one and how it felt; this anchors you in your identity, reducing stress and improving performance in challenging situations.

4. Expand Physically and Temporally

Integrate expansiveness into daily life by taking longer strides, swinging arms more, talking more slowly, and breathing deeply, which changes your feeling of agency and personal power.

5. Adopt Open, Interested Body Language

Consciously use open postures like leaning forward with palms up, avoiding closed-off positions, to signal comfort and interest, encouraging others to mirror your openness and feel more at ease.

6. Implement Tiny Tweaks for Improvement

Instead of grandiose resolutions, focus on making one small behavioral change in challenging situations (e.g., adjusting breathing or hand placement) to gradually build confidence and improve performance.

7. Prioritize Building Trust for Influence

Recognize that establishing trust is the essential conduit for your ideas to travel and influence others; without it, even the best ideas will be ineffective.

8. Ask Questions to Build Trust

In interactions, especially in business or negotiations, prioritize asking questions and listening to learn about the other person, which demonstrates interest and builds trust before you respond.

9. Expansive Posture for Mental Health

Consciously opening your posture for even a couple of minutes can reduce symptoms of depression and PTSD, restoring a sense of personal power and agency.

10. Leaders: Be Mindful of Body Language

If in a leadership role, be aware of your body language when interacting with employees, as an open posture can make them feel comfortable and encourage them to share openly.

11. Audit Your Default Posture

Regularly check your physical posture, even when seated or alone, to identify unconscious signals of powerlessness (e.g., shoulders forward, collapsed chest, wrapped limbs) that you might be sending to yourself.

12. Morning Starfish Stretch

Upon waking, especially from a fetal position, stretch out into an expansive ‘starfish pose’ in bed before getting up, to start your day with a feeling of openness and reduced anxiety.

13. Deep Breathing for Calm

When feeling anxious, consciously switch to slower, deeper breathing to trigger a nervous system response that promotes relaxation, confidence, and a sense of safety.

14. Force a Smile to Lift Mood

Engage the muscles involved in a genuine smile (around the mouth and eyes), even if forced, as studies show this can lift your mood and make you feel happier.

15. Learn to Read Body Language

Educate yourself on nonverbal cues using resources like Joe Navarro’s ‘What Every Body Is Saying’ to better understand what others are communicating in interactions.

16. Sit Up Straight for Self-Respect

Encourage yourself or others to sit up straight not just as a sign of respect for others, but as a way to be more open, less defensive, and allow your true self to emerge.