The More Successful You Are The Longer You’ll Live: Will Storr

Aug 8, 2022 1h 45m 12 insights
Will Storr, an award-winning author, discusses how societal individualism and the self-esteem movement have led to perfectionism and unhappiness. He explores the pervasive, often subconscious, role of status in human behavior, its impact on health, and offers insights on self-acceptance, effective communication, and fostering healthy competition.
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Self-Acceptance, Not Self-Love

Instead of believing you can be anything, accept yourself as a flawed and limited individual, understanding your true strengths and weaknesses to find suitable paths in life. This mindset fosters a more realistic and healthy self-view than the self-esteem movement’s message of unlimited potential.

2. Change Your Environment, Not Yourself

To consistently maintain desired behaviors and achieve goals, focus on altering your external environment rather than relying solely on willpower to change your internal self. Our surroundings significantly control our behavior, making environmental adjustments a powerful tool for self-improvement.

3. Prioritize Emotion in Communication

When communicating, especially in business or marketing, lead with emotion and connect with your audience’s feelings, values, and tribal identity. The brain processes reality through feelings and stories, not just facts and data, making emotional connection crucial for persuasion.

4. Position Your Brand as a Light Figure

In storytelling for business, present your company or yourself as a ’light figure’ who helps the audience (the hero) achieve their goals, rather than as the hero of the story. This approach resonates more deeply as people primarily want to know how you can help them.

5. Give Status Freely to Others

Recognize that status is a fundamental human need and often more valued than money; be generous in giving status to employees and those around you. This fosters positive relationships, motivates others, and can indirectly enhance your own social standing.

6. Encourage Rivalry, Not Competition

In organizational settings, foster rivalry (one-on-one or team-on-team challenges) rather than all-against-all competition. Rivalry is a healthy and massive motivator that drives innovation, while unchecked competition can lead to toxic and corrupt corporate cultures.

7. Diversify Your Status Games

To increase personal stability and happiness, engage in multiple status games and belong to various groups. Having diverse sources of status provides resilience against setbacks in any single area of life.

8. Manage Your Inner Critic

Cultivate an internal voice that acts as a firm but kind and understanding parent, rather than a harsh judge or a constant validator of emotions. This balance helps in learning from mistakes and achieving personal growth.

9. Identify and Encourage Strengths

For children and adults, move beyond the myth of unlimited control and instead identify what individuals are passionate about and genuinely good at. Encourage them specifically in these areas to foster true talent and fulfillment.

10. Prioritize Social Connection Intentionally

Recognize that men, in particular, often have an instinct to ‘go it alone,’ but actively fighting for and being intentional about social connection is crucial for well-being and happiness. Make efforts to attend social gatherings and volunteer to build community.

11. Seek Male-Friendly Mental Health Solutions

Instead of simply telling men to be ‘more like women’ in expressing emotions, focus on developing solutions specifically designed for men’s social and psychological tendencies. This tailored approach is more effective in addressing issues like male suicide.

12. Leverage Creation for Well-being

When feeling depressed or low, engage in creative work or ‘art’ that you can be proud of. This act of creation can provide a significant psychological status boost and help pull you out of negative emotional states.