World No.1 Divorce Lawyer: This Is A Sign You’ll Divorce In 10 Years!

Feb 12, 2026 2h 5m 19 insights
James Sexton, a divorce lawyer, shares insights on maintaining love and avoiding divorce, drawing from his 25 years of experience. He emphasizes the importance of consistent effort, communication, and realistic expectations in relationships.
Actionable Insights

1. Weekly Love and Improvement Check

Once a week, tell your partner three things you love about them and three things they could have done better. This systematic approach helps maintain connection, prevent slippage, and fosters open, non-defensive dialogue about relationship health.

2. Consistently Prioritize Your Partner

Make a conscious effort to consistently fit your partner into your busy schedule, even with small gestures like a quick text or call. This prevents them from feeling neglected and addresses a top complaint leading to divorce among high-achievers’ partners.

3. Address Small Disconnections Early

Confront small relationship “slippages” or changes as soon as they appear, framing them as observations rather than accusations. This prevents minor issues from accumulating into major, unresolvable chasms, overcoming the natural aversion to temporary discomfort.

4. Clarify Communication Needs

Recognize that partners may have different communication needs during distress (e.g., listening vs. problem-solving). Explicitly state your needs or offer a “menu” of support options to ensure you’re providing comfort in the way your partner desires.

5. Practice Humility and Apologize First

In disagreements, be the first to apologize, even if it’s for inadvertently offending or interrupting. This act of humility can disarm defensiveness, calm the conversation, and open the door for productive discussion on preventative maintenance.

6. Embrace Relationship Discomfort

Understand that true connection and growth in a relationship often involve temporary discomfort, such as having difficult conversations or acknowledging vulnerabilities. Embrace this discomfort as a sign of courage and a necessary step for long-term health, rather than avoiding it.

7. Foster Authentic Self-Growth

In a relationship, commit to helping your partner become their most authentic self, rather than trying to change them into who you want them to be. This involves seeing their blind spots and supporting their genuine growth, leading to a deeper, more appreciative bond.

8. Prioritize Internal Feelings

Shift your focus from external metrics of success (e.g., wealth, followers) to your internal feelings and those of your partner. Prioritizing how you genuinely feel is a more accurate measure of well-being and a key to fostering deeper connection in relationships.

9. Be Present and Listen Intently

Ensure dedicated time where you and your partner give each other full, undivided attention, free from distractions like phones. Intent listening and presence are crucial for deep connection and effective problem-solving, preventing feelings of being “together but not together.”

10. Identify and Feel Emotions

Instead of trying to control or suppress your feelings, or telling others to control theirs, focus on identifying what you are truly feeling and allowing yourself to experience it. This approach fosters emotional intelligence and deeper connection.

11. Be Honest About Struggles

Resist the societal pressure to always appear “fine” or “crushing it.” Instead, create space for honesty about your struggles and vulnerabilities, as this authenticity fosters deeper connections and allows for genuine support and problem-solving.

12. Avoid Marriage Assumptions

Do not assume that marriage will either change your partner or that nothing in the relationship will change. Both assumptions are dangerous and can lead to disappointment and conflict, as individuals and relationships naturally evolve.

13. Acknowledge Need for Help

Recognize and acknowledge when you need help, even if past experiences have conditioned you towards extreme independence. This self-awareness is crucial for fostering deeper, more supportive relationships and overcoming personal obstacles.

14. Reconcile with Past Self

Acknowledge and make peace with past versions of yourself, especially those that developed coping mechanisms like extreme independence due to early life experiences. This allows you to understand their influence without letting them drive your current behavior, fostering healthier relationships.

15. Integrate Opposing Self-Aspects

Instead of viewing seemingly contradictory traits within yourself as warring forces, recognize them as authentic aspects that can coexist and even enhance each other. This integration leads to a more authentic and effective self in all areas of life.

16. Seek Therapy for Relationship Issues

If significant relationship problems arise, or if you find yourself in a dire situation, consider individual or couples therapy. Professional intervention can help you view the relationship differently, address underlying issues, and potentially prevent divorce.

17. Create a Prenuptial Agreement

Get a prenuptial agreement to define financial rules (yours, mine, ours) in advance, rather than letting the state legislature dictate them. This protects both partners from potentially chaotic and expensive asset division in the event of divorce, fostering financial safety and clarity.

18. Prioritize Love for Fulfillment

Recognize that moments of feeling or giving love are often the highest points in life, surpassing material or professional accomplishments. Prioritize cultivating love and deep connection as the ultimate source of fulfillment and meaning.

19. Create a Petnuptial Agreement

If you share a pet with a partner, create a “petnup” to establish rules for their care and custody in case the relationship ends. This prevents emotionally charged disputes over beloved animals, which are often treated like children in separations.