Coach Yourself Through a Crisis
Ethan Kross, Professor at the University of Michigan's Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory, shares concrete strategies for emotion regulation. He explains how to self-coach using psychological distancing techniques to approach upsetting problems calmly and make reasoned decisions during times of crisis.
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Host's Personal Experience with Crisis Anxiety
Introducing Expert Ethan Kross and Emotion Regulation
How Intense Emotions Impair Decision-Making and Relationships
Understanding Emotion Regulation and Its Purpose
The Concept of Psychological Distance
LeBron James and the Inspiration for Self-Talk Research
The Linguistic Shift: Using Your Own Name for Self-Coaching
Empirical Evidence for Third-Person Self-Talk
Applying Self-Distancing to Children (Batman Effect)
Linguistic Shifts During the Ebola Crisis
Temporal Distancing: Mental Time Travel for Perspective
Combining Different Distancing Strategies
Personal Application of Emotion Regulation Tools
6 Key Concepts
Intense Emotions' Impact
Intense emotions like anxiety narrow focus to the threat, consuming mental resources and hindering decision-making. They also propel excessive sharing, potentially leading to social isolation, and chronically activate the fight-or-flight response, which can harm physical health over time.
Emotion Regulation
Emotion regulation is the ability to align one's feelings with desired emotional states, typically by reducing negative emotions or amplifying positive ones. It's not about suppressing emotions entirely but rather reining them in to an adaptive level suitable for the situation.
Psychological Distance
A mental state achieved when one views their own problems more objectively, similar to how they would advise a friend on their problems. This distance allows for more rational and less emotionally charged decision-making.
Linguistic Shift
A technique where individuals refer to themselves using their own name or non-first-person pronouns (e.g., 'you,' 'he,' 'she') when introspecting. This linguistic change helps create psychological distance, enabling a more objective perspective on one's own thoughts and feelings.
Batman Effect
A specific application of the linguistic shift, particularly useful for children, where they imagine themselves as a superhero (like Batman) to tackle difficult tasks or regulate emotions. This technique helps them gain distance and perform better under stress.
Temporal Distancing
A strategy involving mental time travel, where individuals project themselves into the future (e.g., six months or two years from now) to consider how they will feel about a current problem. This highlights the impermanence of present difficulties and helps alleviate anxiety.
7 Questions Answered
Intense emotions like anxiety narrow our focus to the threat, consuming mental resources and hindering decision-making. They also propel excessive sharing, potentially leading to social isolation, and chronically activate the fight-or-flight response, which can harm physical health over time.
Emotion regulation is the ability to align how you're feeling with how you want to feel, often by reducing negative emotions or amplifying positive ones. Its goal is not to turn emotions off, but to rein them in to an adaptive point that is most helpful for the situation.
We can gain psychological distance by using evolved tools to adopt more distanced stances, such as thinking about our own life more objectively, similar to how we would advise a friend on their problems, even when external support is also stressed.
When we use our own name or non-first-person pronouns to refer to ourselves, it leads us to think about ourselves more like we think about others. This linguistic shift provides psychological distance, enabling more objective problem-solving, reduced shame, and less rumination.
Yes, techniques like the 'Batman effect' demonstrate that children can benefit from self-distancing. By imagining themselves as a superhero, they gain perspective, perform better on stressful tasks, and regulate their emotions more effectively.
Temporal distancing involves mentally time traveling to the future (e.g., six months or two years from now) to consider how one will feel about a current problem. This strategy highlights the impermanence of present difficulties, helping to alleviate anxiety and provide a broader perspective.
Yes, some level of anxiety can be beneficial as it motivates necessary actions, such as staying home during a pandemic to flatten the curve. The aim of emotion regulation is not to eliminate anxiety entirely, but to prevent it from becoming overwhelming and counterproductive.
6 Actionable Insights
1. Use Third-Person Self-Talk
When feeling anxious or overwhelmed, silently refer to yourself by your own name or ‘you’ (e.g., ‘Why is Ethan feeling this way?’ or ‘Lori, you’re going to make a good decision’) to gain psychological distance, think more objectively, reduce rumination, and make better decisions.
2. Practice Temporal Distancing
Mentally fast-forward to a future point (e.g., two years from now) and consider how you will feel about the current situation then; this highlights the impermanence of current challenges and can alleviate anxiety.
3. Employ ‘Batman Effect’ for Kids
When a child faces a stressful task, encourage them to imagine they are a superhero like Batman and think about why their superhero persona would work on the task; this helps them perform better and feel better by creating psychological distance.
4. Use ‘We’ for Collective Distance
When contemplating shared challenges, use ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ (e.g., ‘We’re going to get through this’) to foster a sense of collective experience and distance from individual burden, which can reduce anxiety.
5. Select Best Distancing Tactic
Actively choose the most appropriate psychological distancing technique (e.g., third-person self-talk, temporal distancing) for your current situation to effectively rein in negative emotions and improve functioning.
6. Manage, Don’t Eliminate, Anxiety
Recognize that some anxiety is adaptive and necessary (e.g., for staying home during a pandemic), but focus on regulating it to prevent it from exploding and becoming counterproductive.
5 Key Quotes
In this current crisis, none of us seem able to make reasonable decisions because we're all too anxious and overwhelmed.
Lori
So intense emotions like anxiety can have a powerful effect on how we think, feel, and behave.
Ethan Kross
One thing that I didn't want to do was make an emotional decision. And I wanted to do what was best, you know, for LeBron James and what LeBron James is going to do to make him happy.
LeBron James (quoted by Ethan Kross)
The idea is that when we use words like names or words like you or he or she, we almost exclusively use those parts of speech when we think about and refer to other people. And so the idea is that when we use those parts of speech to refer to ourselves, that should lead us to think about ourselves more similar to how we think about others.
Ethan Kross
Taking the edge off just a little bit can often be the difference, I think, between getting your work done and not getting it done, being happy and cheery around your family and not.
Ethan Kross
2 Protocols
Third-Person Self-Talk for Emotion Regulation
Ethan Kross- Identify a stressful situation or intense emotion you are experiencing.
- Silently ask yourself questions about your feelings or the problem, using your own name or non-first-person pronouns (e.g., 'Why is [Your Name] feeling this way?' or 'What should [Your Name] do?').
- Introspect using this linguistic shift to gain distance and objectivity.
Temporal Distancing (Mental Time Travel)
Ethan Kross- Identify a current problem or intense emotion you are experiencing.
- Mentally project yourself into the future, considering a point in time like six months, one year, or two years from now.
- From this future perspective, reflect on how you will feel about the current problem, recognizing its impermanence and how it will likely have subsided.