Do We Need a New Word for 'Happiness'? Katie Couric talks to Dr Laurie Santos
Laurie Santos, a cognitive scientist and Yale professor, is interviewed by Katie Couric, discussing how we often misunderstand happiness. They explore defining true flourishing, the role of resilience, and evidence-based practices to cultivate well-being, including managing social media and self-talk.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Introduction: Laurie Santos interviewed by Katie Couric
Defining Happiness: In your life vs. With your life
Rethinking 'Happiness': Flourishing and Eudaimonia
The Concept of a Happiness Set Point and Heritability
Post-Traumatic Growth: Finding strength after trauma
The Impact of Serving Others on Happiness
Critique of the Self-Care and Wellness Industry
The Striving Mindset and its Effect on Happiness
The Mental Health Crisis Among College Students
Parenting Styles and Youth Mental Health
Teaching Happiness Skills to Teenagers
Strategies for Mindful Social Media Use
Insights from Global Happiness Surveys
The Pandemic's Impact on Happiness and Work Culture
Recognizing and Addressing Burnout
Final Advice: Challenging Intuitions About Happiness
6 Key Concepts
Happiness (Social Science Definition)
Social scientists define happiness as encompassing two dimensions: being happy in your life (experiencing positive emotions like joy and laughter) and being happy with your life (feeling satisfied with your life overall). These two aspects can sometimes diverge, where one might be high while the other is low.
Eudaimonia / Flourishing
Derived from ancient Greek philosophy, 'eudaimonia' or 'flourishing' is suggested as a more accurate term than 'happiness.' It implies a state of true well-being that allows for the normal experience of negative emotions and challenges, rather than requiring constant positivity or a 'toxic positivity' mindset.
Happiness Set Point / Heritability
This concept suggests that individuals may have a genetically influenced baseline level of happiness. Studies on identical and fraternal twins indicate that approximately 30% of the variance in happiness levels across a population can be attributed to genetic factors, implying a significant role for both nature and nurture.
Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG)
While trauma can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), post-traumatic growth describes the positive psychological changes that can occur after experiencing a traumatic event. Individuals may report feeling stronger, more resilient, and more deeply connected to others as a result of their ordeal.
Journey Mindset
This mental model emphasizes focusing on the learning and experiences gained throughout a process, rather than solely fixating on the end goal or destination. It contrasts with a 'careerist' approach where individuals are constantly striving for the next accolade without appreciating the present.
Burnout
Burnout is characterized by three main symptoms: emotional exhaustion, cynicism (a short fuse with others), and a sense of personal ineffectiveness (feeling that one's best efforts are insufficient). It signifies a state of profound mental and physical depletion often stemming from prolonged stress.
11 Questions Answered
Social scientists define happiness as having lots of positive emotions in your daily life ('happy in your life') and feeling satisfied with your life overall ('happy with your life').
The word 'happiness' can be misleading because it suggests a constant state of high emotion; 'flourishing' or 'eudaimonia' might be better terms as they encompass navigating challenges and negative emotions as part of a good life.
Yes, there's evidence for a 'happiness set point' with heritability estimates around 30%, suggesting a genetic component, but nurture plays a larger role in overall happiness.
Yes, beyond post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), there's a phenomenon called post-traumatic growth, where individuals emerge stronger, more resilient, and more connected after trauma.
The current emphasis on self-care can be problematic because it often promotes self-focus, whereas scientific evidence suggests that doing nice things for others is a more universal path to happiness.
Despite achieving their goals, these students often sacrifice essential elements like sleep, physical health, and social connection due to their driven 'hustle' and 'careerist' mindsets, leading to mental health challenges.
College students are facing a significant mental health crisis, with high rates of depression (40% too depressed to function), anxiety (over 60% overwhelmingly anxious), and suicidal ideation (more than 1 in 10).
One strategy is to use the 'WWW' acronym (What For, Why Now, What Else) to mindfully assess the purpose, trigger, and opportunity cost of picking up one's phone.
The survey shows that countries like Denmark and Norway consistently rank high due to structures that support social connection, presence, and exercise, while wealthy nations like the U.S. rank surprisingly lower (around 16th).
Surprisingly, the pandemic did not decrease happiness metrics in many countries and, in some ways, acted as a reset, fostering post-traumatic growth, increased social connection, gratitude, and a reevaluation of work-life balance.
The first piece of work is recognizing that one's natural intuitions about what will make them happy are often wrong, and that science suggests different behaviors for true well-being.
17 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Challenges & Failure
Understand that true flourishing involves taking on challenges, embracing failure, and navigating negative emotions, rather than expecting constant happiness.
2. Actively Work on Happiness
Recognize that while there’s a genetic predisposition to happiness, everyone can put in the right work to change and improve their happiness levels.
3. Practice Kindness for Happiness
Engage in doing nice things for other people, as this is a cross-cultural universal in happiness science proven to make you happier.
4. Prioritize Helping Others
Shift focus from self-care and wellness towards doing for others, as data suggests this leads to greater happiness.
5. Serve Others for Fulfillment
Translate personal experiences, even traumatic ones, into a form of service to others, as this can be very grounding, satisfying, and fulfilling.
6. Adopt a Journey Mindset
Focus on what you learn and gain along the way, rather than solely on the final destination or next accolade, by being present throughout the journey.
7. Appreciate Your Accomplishments
Avoid constantly striving for the next thing; instead, pause to reflect on and appreciate the accomplishments you’ve already achieved.
8. Parents: Reduce Academic Pressure
Parents should work with their kids to scale back academic pressure, emphasize learning along the journey, assure unconditional love, and avoid pushing them solely for accolades.
9. Challenge Happiness Intuitions
Recognize that your natural intuitions about what makes you happy are often wrong, and science suggests doing something different.
10. Choose Active, Social Leisure
After a long day, instead of passive activities, engage in more challenging forms of leisure such as calling a friend, going for a walk, or learning something new, becoming more other-oriented.
11. Stress-Reducing Behaviors
When feeling stressed, engage in behaviors like moving your body, contacting a friend, getting sleep, taking a walk, or thinking about what you can do for someone else, as these are effective in the moment.
12. Change Negative Self-Talk
Actively work to change negative thought patterns and shut off the self-critic in your head, as what you say to yourself affects performance and physiology.
13. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
When facing personal shortcomings, talk to yourself with the same gentle, proactive, problem-solving, and curious tone you would use with a friend.
14. Focus on What’s Controllable
Concentrate your energy and efforts on things that are within your control, as this approach leads to better outcomes and well-being.
15. Mindful Social Media Use
Be more mindful about how social media and digital devices are making you feel, rather than denying their benefits or blindly using them.
16. Use WWW for Phone Mindfulness
Whenever you find your phone in your hand, use the ‘WWW’ acronym (What For, Why Now, What Else) to be more mindful of your usage, its triggers, and the opportunity costs.
17. Donate to Charity
If you have income, donate more of your money to charity, as people who do so tend to be happier.
5 Key Quotes
True flourishing is taking on challenges, embracing failure, you know, navigating these negative emotions that might be normative.
Laurie Santos
Happily ever after only exists if you have like three minutes left to live. Like it's just not a destination.
Laurie Santos
One of the biggest cross-cultural universals in happiness science right now is that doing nice things for other people makes you happier.
Laurie Santos
I think many people are starting to realize that they're frantically climbing up this ladder that they might not even want to be on in the first place.
Laurie Santos
The best advice is to talk to yourself like you would a friend.
Laurie Santos
2 Protocols
Mindful Social Media Use (WWW Acronym)
Laurie Santos (attributing Catherine Price)- When you find your phone in your hand, ask 'What For?' to identify the purpose (e.g., checking email, texting a friend, or just an addictive go-to).
- Ask 'Why Now?' to recognize the trigger (e.g., a task, anxiety, boredom, or avoiding real-life social connection).
- Ask 'What Else?' to consider the opportunity cost – what you are not doing because you are on your phone (e.g., taking a deep breath, talking to a friend, sleeping, or engaging with your surroundings).
Responding to Stress and Negative Emotions
Laurie Santos- Recognize that your natural intuitions about what will make you feel better (e.g., plopping down to watch Netflix, having a glass of wine) are often wrong.
- Instead, engage in simple behaviors that are scientifically proven to work better, such as moving your body, contacting a friend, getting some sleep, or taking a walk.
- Consider becoming more other-oriented by doing something nice for someone else.
- Work on changing negative thought patterns by talking to yourself like you would a friend: with curiosity, gentleness, and a problem-solving orientation, rather than harsh self-criticism.