Does the You of Today Hate the You of Tomorrow?
Dr. Laurie Santos and UCLA's Hal Hershfield, author of "Your Future Self, How to Make Tomorrow Better Today," discuss how we often treat our future selves poorly. They explore strategies like writing letters or using AI chatbots to connect with and be kinder to our future selves, balancing present and future happiness.
Deep Dive Analysis
13 Topic Outline
Introduction: The Problem of Being Mean to Your Future Self
The Psychological Distance from Our Future Selves
Consequences of Disconnecting: Procrastination and Overcommitment
The 'Yes Damn Effect' Explained
Communicating with Your Future Self: The Power of Letter Writing
Vivid Interactions: Virtual Reality and Future Self
Introducing the MIT Media Lab's 'Future You' Chatbot
Laurie's Experience Chatting with Her Future Self
Re-evaluating Future Self Preferences: Beyond Productivity
Understanding Hyperopia: The Danger of Being Too Future-Oriented
The Procrastination of Positive Experiences
Finding Balance: Helping Both Present and Future Selves
Conclusion: Shared Goals and Self-Compassion
5 Key Concepts
Future Self as a Stranger
People often perceive their future selves as distinct, separate individuals rather than a continuous version of themselves. This psychological distance can lead to present selves making decisions that don't adequately consider the future self's preferences or well-being.
Yes Damn Effect
This phenomenon describes the feeling of regret experienced when a future obligation, enthusiastically agreed to in the present, arrives and is no longer appealing. It highlights how current desires or social pressures can lead to overcommitment for one's future self.
Myopia (Short-sightedness)
In the context of future planning, myopia refers to the tendency to prioritize immediate gratification and present desires over long-term benefits. This often results in procrastination and neglecting future well-being, such as saving money or exercising.
Hyperopia (Extreme Farsightedness)
This concept describes acting in ways that are excessively future-oriented, often at the expense of present happiness and well-being. It can ironically make life worse in the present and potentially later by delaying positive experiences or over-prioritizing productivity.
Procrastination of Positive Experiences
A specific form of hyperopia where individuals delay enjoying positive things or experiences, waiting for 'the right time' that often never comes. This can lead to missed opportunities for present happiness and regret in the future.
6 Questions Answered
We tend to perceive our future selves as separate, almost like strangers, and we are also poor at predicting what our future selves will truly want, often relying too heavily on our current feelings and preferences.
The 'yes damn effect' is when you agree to a future commitment (saying 'yes') and then regret it when the time comes ('damn it'). It illustrates how our present selves overcommit our future selves, who then have to deal with the burden.
Yes, studies show that vivid interactions, such as writing a letter to your future self or seeing a virtual reality version of your older face, can encourage more future-oriented choices like exercising more or saving money.
The 'Future You' chatbot uses AI (like ChatGPT) combined with personal information (answers to questions, photos) to simulate a written conversation with a future version of yourself, providing a lifelike interaction that can prompt reflection and motivate positive changes.
Hyperopia is being too future-oriented, constantly prioritizing future benefits at the expense of present happiness. It's a problem because it can lead to an overwhelmed present life and the 'procrastination of positive experiences,' where enjoyable moments are delayed until 'the right time' that may never come.
Instead of viewing it as 'now or later,' strive for 'now and later' by finding ways to benefit both present and future selves simultaneously. This might involve dialing back excessive future-oriented actions to allow for present enjoyment and relationships.
10 Actionable Insights
1. Chat with AI Future Self
Engage in a written conversation with an AI chatbot designed to simulate your future self, like the MIT Media Lab’s ‘Future You.’ This provides personalized suggestions and motivates you to adopt positive habits and cherish what truly matters, based on a lifelike interaction.
2. Visualize Your Older Self
Use virtual reality or aging apps (e.g., Snapchat’s time machine filter) to see a realistic version of your older face. This vivid interaction can lead to more future-oriented choices, such as increased saving or investment, by putting you in the mindset of your future self.
3. Write a Letter to Future Self
Pen a short note to your future self about an upcoming decision or current life perspective. This practice forces you to take your future self’s perspective, encouraging better treatment and more future-oriented behaviors like increased exercise.
4. Adopt ‘Now and Later’ Mindset
Consciously shift your thinking to consider how actions can benefit both your present and future self simultaneously, rather than viewing them as competing interests. This mindset helps you make decisions that foster overall happiness and well-being across time.
5. Strive for Present-Future Balance
Actively seek ways to balance immediate gratification with long-term goals, such as spending less time on work to nurture relationships or investing in experiences now that you’ll fondly remember later. This approach ensures you are truly kind to your future self by allowing happiness in both the present and future.
6. Stop Delaying Positive Experiences
Avoid putting off enjoyable activities, using special items, or nurturing friendships by waiting for the ‘perfect’ moment, as this time may never arrive. This ensures you savor life’s positive moments and maintain important relationships, preventing future regret over missed opportunities.
7. Re-evaluate Productivity vs. Presence
Question whether constant ‘productive’ actions (e.g., checking emails during family time) are truly what your future self will value, or if being fully present in meaningful moments would be more cherished. This helps shift focus from relentless efficiency to creating valuable memories and experiences.
8. Avoid ‘Yes Damn Effect’
Before committing to future obligations, consider what your future self would genuinely want to do, rather than automatically saying ‘yes’ in the present moment. This prevents chronic overcommitment and future regret, leading to a happier, less stressed future self.
9. Combat Extreme Farsightedness (Hyperopia)
Recognize and actively counter the tendency to be excessively future-oriented, which can ironically make life worse in both the present and the future. This awareness prevents you from sacrificing current happiness for an imagined future benefit that may not materialize or be appreciated.
10. Internalize Future Self Perspective
After using tools like AI chatbots or letter writing, practice simulating conversations or reflections with your future self internally. This develops a continuous ability to consider your future self’s desires without constant reliance on external technology.
6 Key Quotes
Decades of psychological studies have found that many of us treat our future selves like crap.
Laurie Santos
Our future self often is this totally silent partner. If not even that they want to speak and can't, they literally don't have a voice at the table.
Hal Hershfield
It's the best named effect in all of psychology, in my opinion, because it's so descriptive. It's that moment that you say yes to the thing and then it arises and you say, damn it, I wish I hadn't signed myself up for that.
Laurie Santos
Coming face-to-face with that future self, meeting them, thinking about them, seeing them, can really help put someone in the mindset of, you know, who will I be, and what will I want, and what will I feel down the line?
Hal Hershfield
Future Peggy never demands that current Peggy study more or work harder. The Future You chatbot seems much more worried that current Peggy isn't taking enough time for breaks or finding time for activities that she loves.
Laurie Santos
How can I look at both now and later rather than make it a conversation about now or later?
Hal Hershfield
2 Protocols
Communicating with Your Future Self (Letter Writing)
Hal Hershfield- Write a letter to your future self.
- Explain which topics are currently important to you.
- Describe how you see life right now.
Using the MIT Media Lab's 'Future You' Chatbot
Pat Pateranutaporn, Peggy Yin (described by Laurie Santos)- Answer a series of questions about yourself (e.g., name, age, hopes for the future, ideal financial situation).
- Upload a photo of yourself.
- Engage in a written conversation with your AI-generated future self, asking questions and receiving advice.