Laurie's Personal Tips

Overview

Dr. Laurie Santos, host of The Happiness Lab, joins Dr. Katie Milkman on Choiceology to discuss actionable strategies for protecting mental well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. She shares insights from her happiness course and personal routines to combat anxiety and stress.

At a Glance
28 Insights
35m 52s Duration
12 Topics
6 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Inspiration for the Science of Happiness Course

Protecting Mental Health During COVID-19

Prioritizing Social Connections in Isolation

Practicing Gratitude for Well-being

Finding Hope and Kindness Amidst Crisis

The Benefits of Pro-Social Behavior and Helping Others

Maintaining Physical Exercise Habits

The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness

Managing News and Social Media Consumption

Prioritizing Sleep for Mental Health

Coping with Personal Stressors and Adversity

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Fresh Start Effect

This psychological phenomenon describes how new situations or temporal boundaries, such as a new year or a period of social isolation, can serve as opportune moments to establish and commit to new, healthier habits, like starting an exercise routine.

Sympathetic Nervous System

This is the body's 'fight or flight' system, which activates in response to perceived threats, leading to increased stress and anxiety. Chronic activation, as can occur during a prolonged crisis, is detrimental to immune function, digestion, and overall health.

Parasympathetic Nervous System

This system acts as a counterbalance to the sympathetic nervous system, promoting 'rest and digest' functions. It can be intentionally activated through practices like deep belly breathing, helping to calm the body, reduce stress hormones, and restore balance.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

A secular and scientifically-backed form of meditation that trains the brain to focus on the present moment, often using breath awareness. It helps reduce rumination on negative thoughts, improves concentration, and aids in emotional regulation.

Loving Kindness (Metta) Meditation

This meditation practice cultivates compassion by intentionally wishing well to oneself and others, often using specific phrases. It helps individuals engage with suffering without experiencing burnout, fostering caregiving emotions and motivating pro-social actions.

Pro-Social Behavior

These are actions intended to benefit other people. Research indicates that engaging in pro-social acts, such as spending time or money on others, significantly boosts the well-being of the giver more effectively than self-focused activities.

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What inspired the 'Science of Happiness' course at Yale?

Dr. Laurie Santos created the course after observing a significant mental health crisis among Yale students, including high rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, and wanted to provide actionable tips for improving well-being.

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How can we protect our mental health during a stressful time like COVID-19?

The science of happiness offers simple, actionable interventions that require intention and work, such as prioritizing social connections, practicing gratitude, engaging in pro-social behavior, exercising, meditating, and managing media consumption.

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Why are social connections so important for well-being, especially during isolation?

Social connection is crucial for both mental health and immune function, as loneliness and social isolation can significantly impair the immune system. During social distancing, intentional efforts to connect virtually are vital to counteract these negative effects.

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How can gratitude help improve mood during difficult times?

Research shows that regularly scribbling down three to five things you are grateful for can significantly boost your mood, helping to counteract negative thinking and allowing you to savor blessings even amidst challenging circumstances.

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How does helping others (pro-social behavior) impact our own happiness?

Engaging in pro-social behavior, such as spending time or money on others, has been shown to boost personal well-being more effectively than self-focused activities. It creates a virtuous cycle where giving benefits both the giver and the recipient, and can provide a sense of meaning.

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How can exercise contribute to mental well-being, and how can we maintain it during social distancing?

Exercise is vital for both physical health (including immune function) and mental health, with a single cardio session providing a mood boost for over a day. Maintaining it requires intentionality, using 'fresh start' moments (like a new living situation) to establish new habits, and leveraging technology for social workouts as a commitment device.

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How does meditation help with anxiety and stress, particularly during a crisis?

Meditation, especially deep belly breathing, activates the parasympathetic 'rest and digest' nervous system, counteracting the 'fight or flight' response triggered by chronic threats. It trains the brain to focus, reduces rumination on negative thoughts, and can regulate emotions like depression and anxiety.

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What is 'loving kindness' meditation and how can it be useful during a time of widespread suffering?

Loving kindness (metta) meditation involves cultivating compassion by wishing well to oneself and others. It helps individuals engage with the suffering of others by fostering caregiving emotions without experiencing burnout, motivating pro-social action rather than avoidance.

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How can we manage our consumption of news and social media to protect our mental health?

Be mindful of how social media makes you feel, as it often spikes anxiety during a crisis. Consider setting a moratorium on social media after a certain time (e.g., 6 p.m.) and replace the habit of checking it with more positive actions like texting a friend or reading a physical book. Limiting news checks to one brief session a day can also help.

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Why is sleep particularly critical for mental health during a stressful period?

Sleep is fundamentally important for mental health, with insufficient sleep potentially leading to mood and emotional issues that mimic clinical conditions. Prioritizing sleep and establishing good sleep habits, especially in new situations, is crucial for overall well-being and immune function.

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How can individuals cope with significant personal stressors like job loss or illness during a crisis?

If dealing with others' suffering, channel thwarted altruism into alternative helpful actions. If facing personal hardship, recognize that the situation is temporary and that people often report growth after adversity. Employ 'future-oriented processing' by imagining how you will have dealt with the setback a year from now to gain perspective.

1. Prioritize Social Connections

Intentionally maintain social connections using technology (phone, FaceTime, Zoom) to combat loneliness and social isolation, which can tank immune function, especially during stressful times.

2. Practice Daily Gratitude

Practice the ’three gratitudes exercise’ daily by writing down three to five things you are grateful for, even small ones, to significantly boost your mood and overall well-being.

3. Engage in Pro-Social Behavior

Engage in pro-social behavior by finding ways to contribute and be generous to others, as this ‘other-oriented’ approach boosts personal well-being more effectively than self-care.

4. Maintain Exercise Intentionally

Be intentional about maintaining your exercise routine, even if it means adapting to new situations like being home, as it is crucial for both physical and mental health, including immune function and mood.

5. Practice Deep Belly Breathing

Practice deep belly breathing for two to three minutes to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest system), counteracting the ‘fight or flight’ response and reducing stress hormones.

6. Meditate Daily for Focus

Meditate for a few minutes daily to train your brain to focus on what you want (e.g., your breath or a mantra), which can increase concentration, regulate emotions, and decrease anxiety and depression.

7. Prioritize Intentional Sleep

Prioritize sleep by being intentional and forming new habits, recognizing its critical role in mental health and immune function, especially during stressful times.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

Practice self-compassion by acknowledging that it’s okay to feel bad during difficult times and to give yourself and your family members more understanding and benefit of the doubt.

9. Replicate Social Interactions Virtually

Replicate pre-crisis informal social interactions using technology, such as virtual water cooler meetings, family dinners with remote guests, or online shared activities, to maintain vital social ties.

10. Leverage Fresh Starts for Habits

Leverage ‘fresh starts’ like social isolation or sheltering in place as opportunities to establish new, beneficial habits (e.g., a morning cardio routine) by treating these new situations as temporal boundaries.

11. Combine Exercise and Socializing

Combine exercise and social connection by working out with friends virtually (e.g., sharing an online yoga class over Zoom), which boosts well-being and acts as a commitment device.

12. Use Social Commitment

Use social commitment as a device to ensure follow-through on new habits, such as agreeing to meet a friend for an online class, making you more likely to stick to it.

13. Find Purpose in Helping

Find meaning and curb existential anxiety during the crisis by actively focusing on your purpose to help others and make their lives better.

14. Utilize Time for Altruism

Utilize any ’time windfall’ (e.g., saved commute time) to help others, such as calling people in need, doing chores for them, or writing gratitude letters for healthcare workers, to boost your own well-being.

15. Use Savings for Others

Use any ‘financial windfall’ (e.g., money saved from not buying daily coffee) to help others, such as buying groceries for someone in need or gift cards for local businesses, creating a win-win situation for your well-being and community support.

16. Seek Out Kindness Stories

Intentionally seek out stories of human kindness and compassion, such as by searching for #COVIDkindness on social media, to counteract negative news and realize that people come together in crises.

17. Start Meditation with One Minute

Begin your meditation practice with just one minute of focused breathing, as even this short duration can be powerful and makes the habit more accessible for beginners.

18. Utilize Beginner Meditation Resources

For beginners, start meditation with resources like ‘beginner mindfulness-based stress reduction’ guides, apps like Calm or Headspace, or by simply Googling ‘beginner mindfulness-based meditation’.

19. Practice Loving Kindness Meditation

Practice loving kindness (metta) meditation by thinking of people and wishing them well with phrases like ‘May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free from harm,’ to cultivate compassion and engage with suffering without burnout.

20. Mindfully Assess Media Impact

Be mindful and self-aware when checking social media or news; pay attention to how it makes you feel and if it spikes anxiety unnecessarily, recognize it as unhelpful.

21. Implement Social Media Moratorium

Implement a ‘social media moratorium’ after a certain time (e.g., 6 p.m.) and physically remove your phone from your immediate vicinity, especially before bed, to reduce anxiety and improve sleep.

22. Read Physical Books Before Bed

Replace screen time before bed with physical books to avoid the urge to check social media, which helps reduce anxiety and promotes better sleep.

23. Limit News Consumption

Limit news and social media consumption to a single, brief check (e.g., half an hour in the morning) to stay informed without becoming overwhelmed or unnecessarily anxious.

24. Replace Social Media with Connection

Replace the habit of checking social media with a more positive alternative behavior, such as texting a friend or family member, to transform an anxious cue into a social connection opportunity.

25. Prepare Alternative Behaviors

When trying to break a habit, ensure you have an appealing alternative behavior ready to slot in, making it easier to replace the old habit with a new, beneficial one.

26. Channel Thwarted Altruism

When unable to directly help someone you care about (thwarted altruism), channel that urge into other forms of altruism, such as donating to a good cause or checking in on an elderly neighbor.

27. Remember Crises Are Temporary

If facing personal crises like job loss or illness, promote resilience by reminding yourself that the awful situation is temporary and that people often report growth after overcoming difficult life circumstances.

28. Practice Future-Oriented Processing

Practice ‘future-oriented processing’ by imagining yourself a year from now, having successfully dealt with a current setback (e.g., job loss), to gain a meta-view and realize things will eventually be okay.

If there's one thing scientifically that completely tanks immune function, it's feeling lonely and feeling socially isolated.

Laurie Santos

If we want to be happier, we need to be other-oriented rather than self-focused.

Laurie Santos

The simple act of doing something nice for others, whether spending money on others or spending your time on other people, can boost your well-being more than if you spent that money or time on yourself.

Laurie Santos

Go look for the heroes.

Laurie Santos

It's okay to feel crappy. Like, it's okay to not be working. It's okay to give yourself and your family members a little bit more self-compassion and a little bit more of a benefit of the doubt than you usually would.

Laurie Santos

Gratitude Exercise

Laurie Santos
  1. Scribble down three to five things you are grateful for.

Activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System

Laurie Santos
  1. Take two to three minutes to do deep belly breathing.
  2. Take air in through your stomach and let it out slowly.

Managing Social Media and News Before Bed

Laurie Santos
  1. Put a moratorium on any social media after around 6 p.m.
  2. Place your phone in a designated spot far away from your bed.
  3. Read physical books instead of digital devices to avoid the urge to check social media.

Replacing Social Media Habits

Laurie Santos
  1. When you feel the urge to go on social media, instead, text a friend or family member.
three to five
Number of things to scribble down for the gratitude exercise Can significantly bump up mood in a couple of weeks.
five to 10 minutes a day
Approximate time commitment for the gratitude exercise Completely free and simple to do.
half hour
Duration of cardio exercise for a well-being boost A Monday morning session can provide an endorphin boost lasting until Tuesday at 2 p.m.
two to three minutes
Recommended time for deep belly breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system A simple way to calm the body and reduce stress.
a minute
Recommended starting duration for meditation, especially for beginners Even a short period of focusing on breath can be powerful.
around 6 p.m.
Suggested cut-off time for social media consumption before bed To avoid spiking anxiety and disrupting sleep.
one half hour check in the morning
Suggested optimal news consumption for the day To stay informed without becoming overwhelmed or freaked out.
three to four hours a night of sleep for a week or so
Amount of sleep deprivation that can spike mood and emotions to a clinical level Highlights the critical importance of prioritizing sleep for mental health.