Move More... But for the Right Reasons
Dr. Laurie Santos hosts yoga teacher and author Jessamyn Stanley, who shares her journey of decoupling exercise from body shaming. They discuss how reframing movement as a path to self-acceptance and spiritual growth, rather than aesthetic change, can profoundly boost happiness and well-being.
Deep Dive Analysis
12 Topic Outline
Introduction: Exercise for Happiness vs. Body Image
Jessamyn Stanley's Early Experiences with Exercise and Body Shaming
First Disappointing Bikram Yoga Class Experience
Second Chance at Yoga: A Turning Point in Self-Talk
Practicing Yoga at Home and Confronting Self-Hate Through Photos
Yoga as a Spiritual Path and Mindfulness Practice
Applying Yoga Principles to Life's Challenges
Yoga for Body Acceptance and the Idea of Taking Up Space
The Universal Nature of Body Image Issues and Self-Criticism
Self-Compassion as a Gift to Oneself and Others
Accepting Darkness as Part of the Self-Acceptance Journey
Finding Personal Movement Joy Beyond Yoga
4 Key Concepts
Body Shaming
The experience of feeling insufficient or fundamentally wrong with one's body, often stemming from societal ideals and lack of representation, leading to self-hatred and avoidance of physical activity. Jessamyn describes it as a pervasive feeling that even if physical changes occur, they would never be enough because of a deeper sense of not being good enough.
Tapas (in Yoga)
Loosely defined as 'fire,' this concept in yoga refers to stepping into intense or challenging situations to burn away parts of oneself that are no longer needed. It suggests that strength and depth are honed through complicated, messy, and unpleasant experiences, requiring willingness to withstand intensity.
Taking Up Space
A concept learned through yoga practice, where physically allowing one's body to occupy its natural space (e.g., stomach in the way of a pose) translates to emotionally and spiritually allowing oneself to exist without trying to be small or inoffensive. This practice resonates beyond the mat, empowering individuals to assert their presence in all aspects of life.
Self-Compassion
The act of giving oneself grace, kindness, and understanding, even when facing challenges or perceived imperfections. The episode highlights it as a powerful tool for personal happiness that, when practiced, naturally extends grace and empathy to others, fostering a more accepting environment for everyone.
6 Questions Answered
For many, exercise is driven by a desire to change their bodies to meet idealized standards, leading to self-loathing and a focus on looking better rather than enjoying movement or feeling good.
By shifting focus from how the body looks to what it can do and how it feels, practicing mindfulness, and challenging negative self-talk, as Jessamyn did during her yoga practice when she decided to 'just try' despite fear of judgment.
Yoga is presented as a spiritual life path and a practice of mindfulness, allowing individuals to be present with their experiences, strengthen internally through challenges, and accept themselves exactly as they are.
No, body shaming and self-criticism are universal issues, affecting people across all body types and appearances, including those traditionally seen as attractive, because everyone struggles with some aspect of themselves.
When an individual accepts themselves, it creates a ripple effect, reverberating energy that allows others to accept themselves, influencing them in ways that may never be fully understood.
No, self-acceptance is an ongoing, lifelong journey with new challenges and ways it manifests, requiring continuous acceptance of what the universe brings rather than reaching a final state of 'having it figured out'.
16 Actionable Insights
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Give yourself grace, kindness, and compassion. This act, though it may feel selfish, is a powerful gift that not only benefits you but also naturally extends grace to others.
2. Reframe Exercise for Joy
Shift your exercise goal from purely aesthetic changes to finding enjoyment and feeling better. This approach leads to a bigger well-being boost and sustained engagement, rather than an ordeal of self-loathing.
3. Accept Your Body As Is
Use physical practices, like yoga, to accept your body and reality as they are, rather than striving for an idealized ‘perfect’ state. This self-compassionate approach boosts health and happiness.
4. Embrace Self-Acceptance Journey
View self-acceptance as an ongoing, never-ending journey with evolving forms. This mindset fosters continuous growth and reduces the pressure to ‘figure it all out’ at once.
5. Recognize Universal Struggles
Understand that your personal struggles, whether with body image or emotional life, are universal and shared by many. This changes your worldview, fosters empathy, and reduces feelings of isolation.
6. Challenge Self-Criticism
When faced with a challenge, try it even if you might fall, and accept potential embarrassment. Self-criticism prevents progress and can be done anywhere, so use the opportunity to try and grow.
7. Cultivate a ‘Stoic Voice’
Develop an internal ‘stoic voice’ to reframe challenges as invited opportunities for growth. This mindset helps you work through and allow difficult experiences rather than resisting them.
8. Apply Yoga Principles to Life
Apply physical principles from challenging yoga poses (e.g., pulling into your core, staying upright while falling backward) to navigate emotional and life challenges. This practice strengthens you from the inside, making it easier to deal with hard parts of life.
9. Practice Allowing Difficulties
Consciously practice allowing yourself to be present with negative experiences and embrace difficult situations. This is a crucial aspect of mindfulness and internal strengthening, as hardship is necessary for growth.
10. Fully Acknowledge Your ‘Darkness’
Fully acknowledge and ’look at’ all aspects of yourself, including your ‘darkness,’ before attempting to change them. True change requires full awareness and acceptance of what is currently present, as darkness is integral to the existence of light.
11. Observe Self-Talk During Body Scrutiny
If you’re self-critical about your body, observe your internal dialogue when looking at yourself (e.g., in photos). This self-observation helps identify and challenge self-hate, leading to self-ownership and awareness.
12. Start a Home Movement Practice
If you can’t afford classes or prefer privacy, roll out a mat and practice familiar movements at home. Consistent practice, even limited, can serve as ‘medicine’ for well-being.
13. Focus on Body’s Capabilities
Shift your attention to what your body can do rather than just how it looks. This changes your perspective from external appearance to functional capability, which is a game-changer for self-perception.
14. Consciously Practice Taking Up Space
Consciously practice taking up space, both physically and in emotional/spiritual realms. This counters the pervasive idea of making oneself small and allows for greater presence and impact in all areas of life.
15. Do Daily Cardio
Engage in a half hour of cardio a day. Research suggests this can be as effective for reducing symptoms of depression as taking an antidepressant medication.
16. Do Not Exit Hot Yoga Prematurely
Avoid walking out of a hot yoga room during practice. The sudden transition from hot to cold can cause intense physical reactions like nausea.
6 Key Quotes
I am a body shamer at my core. Like how an alcoholic is an alcoholic forever. I'm a body shamer forever. And all I can do is just be aware of it.
Jessamyn Stanley
You run around the block, you try to turn a cartwheel, you swim in the ocean, not because something is going to change about you, but honestly to honor who you are right now.
Jessamyn Stanley
You need for things to be hard so that you can actually strengthen from the inside.
Jessamyn Stanley
And if your stomach isn't in the way, move your stomach out of the way. Make space for your stomach because your stomach is going to be there anyway.
Jessamyn Stanley
The light in me sees the light in you, but the darkness in me also sees the darkness in you.
Jessamyn Stanley
How can you change it if you don't look at all of it? All you're doing is just making a bigger mess.
Jessamyn Stanley