Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety
Psychotherapist, author, and meditation teacher Andrea Wachter shares a suite of tools to navigate anxiety. She explains how to face anxious thoughts and sensations head-on using self-compassion, mindfulness, and specific techniques like "The Work" to find calm and clarity.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Introduction to Anxiety and Personal Experience
Understanding Anxiety: Physical and Mental Manifestations
The 'Path of Anxiety' Metaphor and Choosing a New Path
The Body's Protective Fight or Flight Response
The Importance of Self-Compassion for Anxious Feelings
Why Resisting Painful Feelings is Counterproductive
Tools for Managing Anxious Sensations: Breath, Movement, Observation
Self-Havening Technique for Calming the System
Mindfulness and Focusing on Sensory Information
Strategies for Dealing with Anxious Thoughts and 'Mind Movies'
Creative Ways to Talk Back to Anxious Thoughts
Byron Katie's 'The Work' for Questioning Thoughts
Practical Strategies for Remembering and Using Anxiety Tools
Conclusion: Embracing Anxiety and Upcoming Topic on Anger
6 Key Concepts
Anxiety Manifestations
Anxiety can appear as worrisome 'what if' thoughts, often about the future, and physical fight-or-flight sensations. These physical symptoms include a pit in the stomach, chest tightness, shaking, nausea, headaches, fatigue, and brain fog.
Fight or Flight Response
This is the body's natural attempt to protect or prepare for perceived danger, releasing stress hormones. The mind doesn't differentiate between actual danger and merely thinking about danger, leading to the same physiological response during worry or obsession.
The Path of Anxiety Metaphor
This metaphor describes a state where one is caught in anxious sensations, worrisome thoughts, self-blame, and disapproval of anxiety itself. Becoming aware of being on this path presents a 'fork in the road,' offering the choice to use anxiety relief tools and choose a new direction.
Mind Movies
This term refers to the convincing and often captivating anxious thoughts or scenarios that play out in one's mind, often pulling attention away from the present moment. Learning to question these internal narratives is a key strategy for managing anxiety.
Self-Havening
Developed by neuroscientist Ronald Rudin, this technique involves using sensory touch on specific body areas—the palms of the hands, upper arms, and sides of the face—often combined with calming words and images. It aims to calm the nervous system and induce delta brainwaves, promoting relaxation.
The Work (Byron Katie)
This is a method developed by Byron Katie that uses four simple questions and a 'turnaround' to examine and question a thought that is causing anxiety. It helps individuals realize that their distress often comes from their thoughts about a situation, rather than the situation itself.
8 Questions Answered
Anxiety manifests as worrisome thoughts, often 'what ifs' about the future, and physical fight-or-flight sensations like a pit in the stomach, chest tightness, shaking, nausea, headaches, fatigue, and brain fog.
While we can't control what thoughts pop up, we can control how we respond to them by questioning them, practicing mindfulness, and bringing in compassion.
Treating anxious feelings with compassion, like a scared child, helps us soften and feel soothed, whereas anger or more worry would only tighten and stress us further.
Resisting painful feelings, though understandable, is counterproductive; instead, we need to befriend, accept, and tend to them until they pass, similar to dealing with internal 'weather patterns.'
Deepening and slowing the breath acts as an anchor to the present moment, brings oxygen into the body, and literally calms and slows down the nervous system, which is typically shallow when anxious.
'Mind movies' are convincing anxious thoughts that hijack our minds; we can deal with them by becoming aware they are just thoughts, separating from them, and learning to question their truthfulness.
We can use different 'voices' – strong (e.g., 'That's not happening right now'), soft (e.g., 'I know you're scared'), silly (e.g., 'Oh, you again?'), or silent (shifting focus to a healthy distraction).
It's recommended to gather a list of favorite tools, practice them until they're second nature, keep the list easily accessible, and set reminders (phone, Post-its, jewelry).
26 Actionable Insights
1. Face Feelings Head-On
Commit to getting curious about uncomfortable sensations and facing them head-on, as this might be an unexpected key to a happier life.
2. Practice Being Present
Engage in practices that bring you into the present moment, as this can be life-changing and help alleviate being haunted by worrisome thoughts.
3. Control Thought Response
Recognize that while you cannot control thoughts that pop up, you can control your response to them by bringing in compassion, questioning your thoughts, and practicing mindfulness.
4. Choose New Path Consciously
Wake up from the ’trance of anxiety’ by becoming aware you’re lost in worry, and consciously choose to use an anxiety relief tool at that moment, even if you still feel anxious sensations.
5. Treat Anxiety with Compassion
Approach your anxious feelings with the same self-compassion and kindness you would offer a scared child, as this soothing approach helps you soften rather than tightening up with anger or more worry.
6. Befriend Unpleasant Feelings
Instead of resisting or stuffing down painful feelings, learn to befriend, make peace with, welcome, accept, and tend to them in a soothing way until they pass, promoting emotional health.
7. You Are Not Your Thoughts
Actively remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, which helps to create separation and allows you to choose a new path towards calm and clarity.
8. Apply External Compassion Inward
When struggling with challenging feelings and thoughts, ask yourself how you would speak to or treat a loved one or a child, then apply that same compassion to yourself.
9. Question Anxious Thoughts
Become aware that anxious ‘mind movies’ are just thoughts and not necessarily true, then question them to reduce their power and separate from them.
10. Question Thoughts with “The Work”
Apply Byron Katie’s ‘The Work’ to an anxiety-causing thought by asking: 1) Is it true? 2) Are you absolutely sure it’s true? 3) How do you feel when you believe it? 4) Who would you be without that thought? Then, explore the turnaround (opposite) of the thought.
11. Separate Sensations from Stories
Learn to notice anxious sensations in your body with neutrality and without judgment, effectively separating them from the stories your mind creates about them.
12. Calm with Deep Breath
Utilize deep and slow breathing as an anchor to the present moment, as it brings oxygen into your body and literally calms and slows down your system.
13. Move Body Lovingly
Engage in exercise that involves moving your body in a loving way, which can help to let the fight or flight system run its course.
14. Tune Into Your Needs
Practice tuning into yourself and your body’s needs, similar to how a loving parent tunes into a child’s needs, to determine what tool or approach is most helpful in a given moment.
15. Observe Sensations Neutrally
Practice observing anxious sensations without judgment, like you would a painting on the wall, allowing you to be a neutral observer once you let go of the idea that they are bad.
16. Dialogue with Sensations
Engage in a compassionate dialogue with your anxious sensations, perhaps by placing a hand on your stomach or chest and reassuring them, ‘I am with you. You’re okay,’ to soothe them.
17. Practice Self-Havening
Engage in self-havening by using sensory touch on the palms of your hands, upper arms, and sides of your face, potentially adding calming words and images, to calm your system and induce delta brainwaves.
18. Mindfulness Through Senses
Practice basic mindfulness by focusing on your current sensory input, such as what you see, hear, touch, and your breath, to bring yourself back to the present moment and counter ‘mind movies’.
19. Talk Back to Thoughts Creatively
Experiment with different ‘voices’ – strong, soft, silly, or silent – to talk back to your busy or unkind mind, such as firmly redirecting thoughts or using humor, to manage their power.
20. Create Personal Tool Kit
Compile a list of your favorite anxiety relief tools that resonate with you, and practice them regularly until they become second nature, ensuring they are accessible when anxiety strikes.
21. Set Toolkit Reminders
Keep your personal anxiety relief toolkit list in an easily accessible place and set reminders (e.g., on your phone, Post-its, jewelry) to prompt you to use a tool when needed.
22. Practice Anxiety Relief Tools
Consistently practice anxiety relief tools that resonate with you until they become second nature, so you can effectively use them when anxiety takes over.
23. Persist in Practice
Continue to practice your anxiety relief tools even if you still feel anxious, as consistent effort in quieting your mind, questioning thoughts, and soothing your body will eventually diminish the anxiety.
24. Use Healthy Distraction
When overwhelmed by sensations, shift your focus to a healthy distraction or another anxiety relief tool.
25. Sit with Anxiety Kindly
Make the conscious choice to sit with your anxiety, agreeing to listen to it and talk to it kindly, which can help you learn what the sensation is trying to teach you.
26. Avoid Unhealthy Coping
Refrain from using substances or harmful behaviors like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or eating disorders in an attempt to cope with or tamp down anxiety, as these strategies are ineffective and detrimental.
5 Key Quotes
Nobody decides I'm going to wake up at two in the morning and worry. Nobody decides I'm going to have a pit in my stomach all afternoon and feel shaky. It's just, it's these takeover mechanisms that happen automatically and unconsciously.
Andrea Wachter
We can't control what thoughts pop up in our minds, but we can control how we respond to them. And that's the work.
Andrea Wachter
The mind doesn't know the difference between really being in danger or thinking we're in danger.
Andrea Wachter
It's not going to be 70 with a light breeze every day. We have to deal with weather patterns and we have internal weather patterns.
Andrea Wachter
It's so easy to think that our problem is what's going on in the world or our bodies. But the problem is what we think about what's going on in the world or our bodies.
Andrea Wachter
1 Protocols
Byron Katie's 'The Work' for Anxious Thoughts
Andrea Wachter- Take a specific thought that is causing you anxiety (e.g., 'I'm never going to be okay').
- Ask yourself: 'Is that true?' and answer with a simple yes or no.
- Ask yourself: 'Are you absolutely sure it's true?' giving yourself a second chance to deeply consider.
- Ask yourself: 'How do I feel when I believe that thought?' and truly feel into the emotions it evokes.
- Ask yourself: 'Who would you be without that thought?' and meditate on imagining life without that specific belief.
- Perform a 'turnaround' by playing with the opposite of the original thought (e.g., 'I am okay,' 'I'm always going to be okay,' 'My thoughts are never going to be okay') and observe how that feels.