Unlock Your Hidden Potential with Adam Grant and Maya Shankar
Maya Shankar talks to psychologist Adam Grant about his new book "Hidden Potential," discussing how to filter unhelpful feedback, embrace imperfectionism, and give soft skills more respect to unlock greater achievements.
Deep Dive Analysis
8 Topic Outline
Introduction to Hidden Potential and Learning
Redefining Potential: Growth vs. Starting Point
Overcoming the Fear of Embarrassment in Learning
The Importance and Malleability of Character Skills
The "Sea Sponge" Metaphor: Filtering Feedback
How to Find Effective Coaches and Mentors
Embracing Imperfectionism for Growth
Helping Others Unlock Their Hidden Potential
7 Key Concepts
Growth is about distance traveled
This mental model suggests that true potential and growth are not determined by one's starting point or natural talent, but rather by the progress made and the distance one can travel from that starting point, often overcoming initial struggles.
Brain plasticity
The brain's ability to change and adapt. It is boosted when individuals fail at tasks, as errors signal to the brain that something is wrong, triggering the release of neurochemicals that help reshape and improve brain function.
Character skills
These are learnable capacities to put one's principles into practice, often mislabeled as 'soft skills.' They include traits like leadership, collaboration, proactivity, discipline, and determination, and are crucial for success.
Effective sponge
This metaphor, inspired by sea sponges, describes being proactive not only about absorbing useful information but also about actively filtering and expelling harmful or unhelpful input, rather than passively taking everything in.
Tutor effect
This phenomenon highlights that one of the most effective ways to learn something is by teaching it. The act of explaining and retrieving knowledge for others deepens one's own understanding and memory.
Coach effect
This refers to the process where coaching, whether oneself or others, helps individuals discover that they already possess some of the necessary knowledge or skills, thereby building confidence and motivation.
Imperfectionism
This is a mindset focused on accepting imperfections that are not essential to achieving excellence or are necessary for growth. It is distinct from lowering standards and helps prevent the stunted growth often caused by the fear of failure inherent in perfectionism.
10 Questions Answered
People often assess potential by where they start, assuming a high ceiling if something is easy or giving up if they struggle early, overlooking that growth is about the distance one can travel.
No, a lack of natural talent at the start does not prevent overcoming obstacles and making significant progress, as demonstrated by Adam Grant's experience in springboard diving.
The root of motivation matters significantly; intrinsic excitement and a strong pro-social purpose (like connecting with family) can make learning a language in adulthood much more meaningful and successful than just checking a box for a requirement.
The term originated from the U.S. Army, where "hard skills" referred to operating machines made of metal, and everything else like leadership and collaboration was grouped into the "soft skills" bucket.
Character skills are almost two and a half times more important for predicting future success than cognitive skills, as shown by research on the lasting advantage provided by experienced kindergarten teachers.
Yes, evidence suggests adults can improve character skills; for example, a one-week training program for entrepreneurs in their 40s and 50s in West Africa led to significant business growth.
Useful input is typically evaluated based on three key questions: whether the person giving it has expertise in the domain, whether they know you, and whether they genuinely care and are trying to help you improve.
Asking for "feedback" makes people rewind to the past and focus on what was done wrong, potentially leading to rumination, whereas asking for "advice" makes people look ahead and suggest what to adjust next time, which is less threatening and more optimistic for improvement.
Often, the best mentor is not the most accomplished expert, but rather someone who is just a couple of steps ahead of you, especially if they struggled, because they remember the basics and had to learn how to improve.
Imperfectionism is about accepting imperfections that are not essential to excellence or are necessary for growth, rather than lowering standards. It aids growth by allowing individuals to work on new things where they might fail, preventing stunted growth caused by avoiding anything less than perfect.
18 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Discomfort for Learning
Actively put yourself in uncomfortable situations, as this is where true challenge and learning occur. The fear of embarrassment often prevents big leaps, but discomfort signals to the brain that changes are needed, boosting brain plasticity.
2. Reframe Potential by Growth
Stop assessing potential by where you start or natural talent. Instead, focus on the distance you can travel and the progress you make, as growth is determined by effort and improvement over time, not initial aptitude.
3. Cultivate Intrinsic Learning Motivation
Ensure your motivation for learning is rooted in genuine interest or a pro-social purpose, rather than external requirements. This makes the learning process more meaningful and enjoyable, leading to greater engagement.
4. Embrace Failure for Growth
View failure as a crucial signal for brain growth, as errors trigger neurochemical releases that reshape the brain. This indicates that the current setup is insufficient and prompts necessary changes for improvement.
5. Practice Character Skills
Actively practice character skills like proactivity, discipline, and determination. These ‘soft skills’ are learnable capacities that significantly predict future success and can lead to substantial personal and business growth.
6. Filter Feedback Strategically
Be proactive in filtering feedback by considering the source’s expertise, familiarity with you, and genuine intent to help. Do not absorb all information indiscriminately, as not all critics are constructive or have your best interests at heart.
7. Don’t Blindly Accept Feedback
Recognize that even feedback from admired or respected individuals may reflect idiosyncratic tastes or subjective reactions. It’s acceptable to reject feedback that doesn’t resonate with your personality or goals.
8. Ask for Advice, Not Feedback
When seeking input, ask ‘What’s the one thing I can do better?’ or for advice, rather than general feedback. This forward-looking approach helps you focus on future adjustments and improvement without becoming defensive or ruminating on past mistakes.
9. Seek Mentors Just Ahead
Prioritize mentors who are only a few steps ahead of you or who have struggled in the domain. They often remember the basics and the process of improvement better than top experts who may have forgotten what it’s like to be a beginner.
10. Guide Others to Self-Discovery
When teaching or mentoring, ask guiding questions that prompt individuals to come up with their own answers. This activates the ’tutor effect,’ helping them learn, remember, and build confidence by explaining concepts to themselves.
11. Practice Strategic Imperfectionism
Learn to accept imperfections not essential to excellence or necessary for growth. Calibrate standards based on stakes, aiming for ‘good enough’ (e.g., a ‘seven’ or ’nine’) rather than an unattainable ‘perfect ten’ in all areas.
12. Define ‘Good Enough’ Roles
For important life roles like parenting, consciously define what ‘good enough’ (e.g., a ’nine’) looks like by identifying the core behaviors that truly matter. This helps manage expectations, reduces self-beratement, and promotes healthier growth.
13. Accept Not Pleasing Everyone
Acknowledge that you cannot satisfy everyone’s standards or expectations. Decide which standards are most important to you and be willing to disappoint others where those standards conflict, rather than striving for universal approval.
14. Conduct ‘Reflected Best Self’
Reach out to people who know you well and ask them to share stories about a time when you were at your best. Collect these stories, identify patterns in your strengths, and compose a self-portrait to reveal hidden potentials you might not be aware of.
15. Help Others See Potential
Proactively write and share stories with others about a time when they were at their best. This act of friendship and investment helps them identify their hidden potential and underutilized strengths, making them more visible.
16. Manage Overused Strengths
Recognize when a personal strength is being overused or misapplied in the wrong situations. The goal is not to eliminate the strength but to ensure it’s used appropriately and not excessively, which can lead to downsides.
17. Be Open, Then Filter
When entering new domains or early in development, err on the side of being too open to feedback. It’s easier to learn to filter later than to regain access to information once people perceive you as unreceptive.
18. Speak New Language Early
When learning a foreign language, overcome the fear of embarrassment and start speaking it out loud and using it as early as possible. This active engagement is the only way to truly master the language, rather than waiting to memorize everything first.
8 Key Quotes
Growth is not determined by where you start. It's about the distance you can travel.
Adam Grant
So much of learning requires us to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations because that's where the challenge lies. But the fear of embarrassment, of feeling incompetent, of looking stupid, holds us back.
Adam Grant
The best way to boost brain plasticity is to fail at things because when you fail, those errors signal to the brain that something's wrong.
Maya Shankar
Not all critics are thinking critically. Not all critics are speaking constructively. And I think a huge part of being an effective sponge is being proactive not just about what you take in, but also what you expel out.
Adam Grant
It's okay to not assign equal weight to every piece of feedback given to you by someone that you admire.
Maya Shankar
Those who can do often can't teach the basics.
Adam Grant
If perfectionism were medication, it would come with a warning label that says, warning, may cause stunted growth.
Adam Grant
You cannot please everyone. So you might as well decide who you're willing to disappoint.
Adam Grant
2 Protocols
Reflected Best Self Portrait Exercise
Laura Morgan Roberts (described by Adam Grant)- Reach out to some people who know you well in different walks of life (e.g., family, friends, colleagues).
- Ask them to tell a story about you at a time when you were at your best.
- Collect all the stories.
- Recognize the patterns in the collected stories.
- Compose a self-portrait of who you are at your best.
Giving the Gift of Reflected Best Self Portrait
Adam Grant- Pick a bunch of people who matter to you.
- Write them a story about a time when they were at their best.
- Email it to them out of the blue.