Why Smaller Goals Can Lead to Bigger Changes with Eric Zimmer
In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos chats with author Eric Zimmer about his new book, "How a Little Becomes a Lot." Eric, a former heroin addict, shares insights on why big changes often fail and how making consistent, low-resistance small changes can lead to lasting transformation in any area of life.
Deep Dive Analysis
20 Topic Outline
Eric Zimmer's Journey to Sobriety and Change
The Parable of the Two Wolves
The Myth of Big Dramatic Change
Change as a Learnable Skill, Not Willpower
Understanding Biological Resistance to Change
Overcoming Resistance with the Little-by-Little Approach
The Danger of Overly Ambitious Goals
The Power of 'Make Haste Slowly'
Calibrating Goals to Be 'Too Small to Fail'
Avoiding Self-Improvement Binges and Scattered Efforts
Prioritizing Foundational Changes
Cultivating Momentum Over Strict Habits
Celebrating Small Wins and Overcoming Perfectionism
Distinguishing Values from Desires
Navigating Values-to-Values Conflicts
Identifying Your True Values (Buckhead vs. Punk Rock)
Reframing 'Have-To' Goals into 'Want-To' Goals
Setting Up Your Environment for Success (SPAR Acronym)
The Importance of Social Support in Change
Applying the Little-by-Little Approach to Writing a Book
9 Key Concepts
The Two Wolves Parable
This parable illustrates the internal conflict between 'good' (kindness, bravery, love) and 'bad' (greed, hatred, fear) forces within us. The one that wins is 'the one you feed,' emphasizing that our choices and actions determine which aspects of ourselves grow stronger.
Change as a Skill
The idea that the ability to change behavior is not an innate trait like willpower or discipline, but rather a learnable skill. By understanding how change works and acquiring the right strategies, anyone can become more effective at making desired life changes.
Homeostasis (in Change)
An oversimplified concept suggesting that our bodies and minds naturally resist change, preferring to maintain equilibrium. When we start doing new things, discomfort arises, prompting a desire to revert to familiar patterns and creating internal resistance.
Resistance
The internal feeling we experience when it's time to do something important but we don't want to do it. It's a natural part of the change process, especially for creative or beneficial tasks, and persists even as actions become easier.
Little-by-Little Approach
A strategy for behavior change that involves taking low-resistance actions consistently over time in the same direction. This method builds motivation and confidence by ensuring achievable successes, making it easier to sustain progress.
Make Haste Slowly (Justina Lente)
A Roman saying meaning that one can often achieve goals faster by slowing down and taking deliberate, smaller steps. This counter-intuitive approach prevents burnout and allows for consistent progress, ultimately leading to quicker long-term success.
Momentum (in Change)
The feeling of continuous progress that makes it easier to keep going with a desired behavior, even if it's not a fully automatic habit. It's maintained by doing smaller versions of an activity when the full version isn't possible, ensuring 'a little bit of something is better than a lot of nothing'.
Values vs. Desires
Values are deeply embedded principles or aspirations that the 'wisest part of us' deems important, representing 'what I want most.' Desires are fleeting wants that arise spontaneously, often representing 'what I want now.' Understanding this distinction helps resolve internal conflicts and pursue meaningful goals.
Values-to-Values Conflicts
Tensions that arise when two deeply held values are in opposition, such as adventure versus contentment, or family versus career. These conflicts are often not 'solved' but rather managed through ongoing negotiation and conscious choice.
6 Questions Answered
Our attempts often fail because we aim too high too soon, expecting big, dramatic transformations rather than understanding that lasting change comes from thousands of small, consistent choices. We also tend to blame a lack of willpower instead of recognizing change as a learnable skill.
Our nervous system and body exhibit a process similar to homeostasis, where things prefer to remain as they are. Change makes us uncomfortable, creating a 'resistance' that makes us want to revert to what's familiar, making new behaviors inherently challenging.
Setting overly ambitious goals often backfires because high difficulty requires extremely high motivation, which is rarely sustainable. When we inevitably fall short, we focus on the failure, reinforcing negative self-beliefs and eroding our trust and agency, making future change harder.
A goal is likely 'too small to fail' if you are succeeding consistently, not perfectly. If you find yourself consistently failing or missing your target, the goal is probably too big and needs to be scaled down, as it's easier to add to success than recover from failure.
True values are deeply embedded and consistently resurface, regardless of external influences, representing what you 'want most.' Fleeting desires, in contrast, tend to appear only when you are exposed to them or are around certain environments or people, representing what you 'want now.'
The 80% rule suggests that if you achieve your desired behavior roughly 80% of the time, you are successful and will gain all the benefits. Focusing on the 20% you miss can derail the entire project, so it's crucial to move away from all-or-nothing thinking.
10 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Small, Low-Resistance Actions
Focus on making low-resistance actions consistently over time in the same direction. This ’little-by-little’ approach builds motivation and makes success more likely by keeping tasks at a manageable difficulty level.
2. View Change as a Learnable Skill
Recognize that change is a skill that can be learned, rather than a reflection of personal failing or lack of willpower. This shift in perspective empowers you to acquire the necessary resources and attitude for successful change.
3. Start Smaller Than You Think
When setting goals, err on the side of starting too small, such as meditating for just three minutes a day. It’s easier to add to a successful habit than to recover from the demotivation of failing at an overly ambitious goal.
4. Prioritize One Key Change
Avoid self-improvement binges by focusing on one or two most important changes at a time. This concentrated attention allows the priority goal to solidify and act as an ’enabler’ for other desired changes.
5. Cultivate Momentum, Not Just Habits
Focus on maintaining momentum, especially when perfect adherence to a habit isn’t possible due to shifting contexts. Do a smaller version of your activity (e.g., walking hospital halls instead of a full workout) to keep progress going, as ‘a little bit of something is better than a lot of nothing’.
6. Celebrate Tiny Accomplishments
Acknowledge and internally celebrate every time you do what you said you would, no matter how small. Noticing the subtle good feeling of internal alignment reinforces positive behavior and increases motivation.
7. Adopt the 80% Rule
Strive for consistency, not perfection, by aiming to achieve your goal roughly 80% of the time. Focusing on the 20% you miss can derail the entire project, while 80% consistency still yields full benefits over time.
8. Clarify Your True Values
Reflect on whether your goals align with your deeply embedded values (what you truly want) versus fleeting desires (what shows up when exposed to external influences). This helps ensure you’re pursuing what genuinely matters to you.
9. Reframe ‘Have-To’ Goals as ‘Want-To’ Goals
Reconnect with the underlying reasons why you’re doing things you perceive as ‘have-to’s’ (e.g., taking kids to activities). By identifying the values driving these actions, you can perform them with a more motivated and intentional spirit.
10. Seek Social Support for Change
Actively ask for and leverage social support from friends, partners, or groups. Having others in your corner significantly increases your chances of achieving your goals, even if it’s just for encouragement or accountability.
6 Key Quotes
In life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love. And the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandchild stops, they think about it for a second, they look up at their grandparent, and they say, well, which one wins? And the grandparent says, the one you feed.
Eric Zimmer
Most of us are taking it as there's something wrong with us, right? If I handed you a trombone right now, you're not a trombone player, right? If I handed you a trombone and you picked it up and started playing, it would sound terrible. We wouldn't conclude that you were a bad person. We just conclude you don't know how to play the trombone. But when it comes to our own behaviors and our own emotions, we take it very personal.
Eric Zimmer
Justina Lente, make haste slowly.
Eric Zimmer
My mind's got a mind of its own.
Eric Zimmer
If you hang around the barbershop long enough, you're going to get a haircut.
Eric Zimmer
A little bit of something is better than a lot of nothing.
Eric Zimmer
1 Protocols
SPAR Process for Structural Success
Eric Zimmer- Specificity (S): Be clear about what needs to be done; avoid ambiguity that leads to decision fatigue.
- Prompts (P): Set up reminders or cues to initiate the desired action (e.g., an alarm for exercise).
- Alignment (A): Optimize your environment to make the desired action easy and reduce friction (e.g., lay out exercise clothes, keep a guitar on a stand).
- Resilience (R): Plan for when things go wrong by anticipating failures and having alternate strategies or accepting that some days will be 'a wash'.