Why We're Mean to Our Future Selves (LIVE from Boston)
Dr. Laurie Santos and Harvard Professor Jason Mitchell discuss why our brains treat future selves like strangers, leading to procrastination and poor decisions. They explore how to overcome these biases to make future us happier.
Deep Dive Analysis
15 Topic Outline
Introduction to Happiness Lab Live and Guest Jason Mitchell
Laurie and Jason's Friendship Origin Story
Defining Cognitive Neuroscience and its Revolution
Brain Regions Involved in Social Interaction
How Brains Differentiate Similar vs. Dissimilar Others
Understanding the Fundamental Attribution Error
The Brain's Misunderstanding of Our Future Selves
Procrastination as Offloading to Future Selves
Treating Future Self Like a Stranger: Emily Pronin's Study
Future Anhedonia: The Spock-like Future Self
Situational Constraints and Decisions for Future Self
Future Time Slack: Overestimating Future Free Time
Strategy: Simulating Future Self by Asking 'Do I want to do this now?'
Strategy: Using Language to Connect with Future Self
Strategy: Knowing Current Preferences and Allowing Negative Emotions
5 Key Concepts
Cognitive Neuroscience
This field studies how the brain's physical 'hardware' gives rise to the mind's 'recipe' for understanding the world, forming thoughts, and generating feelings. It emerged in the 90s, allowing researchers to observe the living, healthy brain in action.
Theory of Mind
This refers to the human ability to understand and predict others' behavior by inferring their mental states, such as thoughts, feelings, goals, and intentions. It involves using one's own experiences as a starting point to make sense of what's going on inside another person's head.
Fundamental Attribution Error
This is the tendency for humans to attribute other people's behavior primarily to their internal mental states or personality (who they are deep down) rather than considering the situational constraints or context that might be influencing their actions. It makes it hard for us to see how environments shape behavior.
Future Anhedonia
This bias describes how people tend to think of their future selves as a 'Spock-like' character, incapable of experiencing high highs or low lows. Consequently, they predict their future selves will feel less good about positive events than their present selves would.
Future Time Slack
This concept explains the tendency to believe that one's future self will have significantly more free time than they actually do. This often leads to overcommitting to future events or tasks because a future calendar appears empty, only to become full as the time approaches.
8 Questions Answered
Cognitive neuroscience is a field that seeks to understand how the brain's physical structures and processes (the 'hardware') give rise to our thoughts, feelings, and understanding of the world (the 'recipe').
The brain uses a 'theory of mind' to understand others by inferring their mental states like thoughts, feelings, and intentions. It often starts by predicting how oneself would respond in a similar situation, assuming a degree of similarity with the other person.
The fundamental attribution error is a psychological bias where people tend to explain others' behavior based on their internal characteristics (personality, mental states) rather than considering the external situational factors that might be influencing them.
We often procrastinate because we offload unpleasant tasks to our future selves, mistakenly believing that our future selves will be more willing, less miserable, or better equipped to handle them, even though we ourselves don't want to do them now.
Our brains often treat our future selves like complete strangers, not using the same brain regions to think about their likes, dislikes, and goals as we do for our current selves. This leads to making decisions that favor our present self.
Future anhedonia is the bias of assuming that one's future self will experience less intense emotions, both positive and negative, than one's present self. For example, people predict their future self will be less excited by finding money than their present self would be.
Future time slack is the tendency to overestimate the amount of free time one's future self will have. This leads to overcommitting to future plans because a distant calendar appears empty, even though it will inevitably fill up.
Strategies include asking yourself if you'd be willing to do the task *now* to simulate future commitment, using first-person language to describe future events ('This is happening to me'), and being mindful of your current preferences to avoid committing to things out of social pressure.
7 Actionable Insights
1. Simulate Present Self for Future
When considering future commitments or tasks, ask yourself if you would be willing and able to do it right now. If it feels too busy or unenjoyable in the present, it’s likely your future self will feel the same, helping to combat future time slack and mispredictions.
2. Use First-Person for Future Self
To foster a stronger connection with your future self, use first-person pronouns like ‘I’ and ‘me’ when thinking about future experiences or choices. This helps bridge the psychological distance, making your future self feel less like a stranger.
3. Sit with Present Discomfort
When faced with an unpleasant task, allow yourself to experience and sit with any negative emotions like anxiety or aversion in the present moment. This helps you tackle the task now, preventing prolonged dread and protecting your future self from the burden.
4. Know Your True Preferences
Cultivate mindfulness to accurately identify your genuine preferences and desires, rather than automatically saying yes to commitments to avoid social awkwardness or guilt. This ensures decisions align with your well-being, rather than offloading unwanted experiences onto your future self.
5. Practice Mindfulness for Decisions
Actively notice and acknowledge feelings of regret, aversion, or ‘ickiness’ when making a decision about a future commitment. This mindful awareness helps determine if you are genuinely interested or merely avoiding present social discomfort.
6. Maintain Future Self Relationship
Constantly remind yourself that you are in an ongoing relationship with your future self, who has feelings and deserves to be treated as a friend. This mental model encourages continuous effort to make better, more empathetic decisions for your future well-being.
7. Recognize Situational Influences
Be aware of the fundamental attribution error, understanding that behavior (including your own future behavior) is heavily influenced by situational constraints, not just inherent personality. This helps avoid misjudging others and overcommitting your future self without considering future circumstances.
5 Key Quotes
If I'm given a choice between having some delicious cake right now or an even better one this time next week, screw that future guy. He's not going to enjoy that dessert nearly as much as I'm going to enjoy it right now.
Jason Mitchell
We tend to make these decisions that favor our current self. In part because we just simply have the wrong theories about who we're going to be in the future.
Jason Mitchell
We tend to think that our future self is going to be the kind of guy who doesn't mind getting up early. Going for a run on a 25 degree dark morning in Boston.
Jason Mitchell
I am in a relationship with my future self, that he has feelings, too, and would like to think that I'm a friend.
Jason Mitchell
It's very hard for me to actually simulate or imagine what my future self is going to be like.
Jason Mitchell
3 Protocols
Simulating Future Self Decisions
Jason Mitchell- When asked to commit to a future task or event, avoid thinking about whether your future self will be happy to do it.
- Instead, ask yourself: 'If I had to do this right now, would it work for me? Would it be something that I get enjoyment out of?'
- If the answer is no (e.g., you feel too busy or it would be too stressful now), it's very likely to be true for your future self as well, indicating you should decline or reconsider.
Connecting with Your Future Self Through Language
Jason Mitchell- Instead of referring to your future self in the third person (e.g., 'June Laurie's problem,' 'that guy'), consciously use first-person pronouns.
- Think and say phrases like: 'This is happening to me. This is my choice. I'm the person who's going to be experiencing these events.'
- This linguistic shift can help bring your future self into the orbit of similarity, making you treat them more like your present self and fostering better decisions.
Making Better Decisions by Knowing Current Preferences
Jason Mitchell- Practice mindfulness to truly know and notice what you like and dislike in the present moment.
- Be aware if you are saying 'yes' to something not because of genuine preference, but to avoid immediate social awkwardness or guilt.
- Allow yourself to sit with uncomfortable or negative emotions (e.g., awkwardness, guilt, dread) in the present to make a decision that genuinely protects and benefits your future well-being, rather than offloading the discomfort.