How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant
Ryan Serhant, real estate broker and founder of SERHANT., shares how to sell effectively by building genuine connections and helping first. He discusses the psychology of attention, his "1,000 minutes a day" time management framework, and the importance of embracing embarrassment and overcoming ego in business.
Deep Dive Analysis
17 Topic Outline
Embracing Embarrassment for Financial Gain
The 'Future Me' Mindset vs. 'Fake It Till You Make It'
Ryan Serhant's Start in Real Estate and Million Dollar Listing Audition
The Value of Theater and Improv for Sales Skills
The 1,000 Minutes a Day Time Management Framework
Optimizing Meetings and Valuing Time
The Art of Selling Without Selling
The Three F's of Follow-Up: Forever, Through, Back
Using Google Alerts for Client Engagement
The Craziest Real Estate Deal Story
Overcoming Ego in Negotiations
Hitting Rock Bottom and Finding Resilience
The Power of Content and Distribution for Business Growth
Building a Personal Brand in a New City
The 'Hook, Help, Ask' Sales Framework
The Drive for Growth and Unending Satisfaction
Responsibility and the 'Past Explains, Not Excuses' Philosophy
6 Key Concepts
Future Me Mindset
A philosophy where one embodies the person they aspire to become in the future (e.g., 12-24 months) today, rather than 'faking it till you make it.' It involves writing down goals and acting with the confidence and competence of that future self to manifest that reality.
1,000 Minutes a Day Framework
A time management approach that treats the approximately 1,000 productive minutes available each day as a valuable currency. The goal is to use these minutes wisely, not letting small setbacks derail the entire day, and to 'invest' unused minutes into the next day.
The Art of the Non-Sale
A sales philosophy centered on building authentic relationships and disarming potential clients by not explicitly 'selling.' It involves finding common ground, offering compliments, asking open-ended questions, and focusing on the client's needs and desires, rather than pushing a product.
The Three F's
A comprehensive strategy for client engagement, encompassing 'Follow Up' (persistent contact until a client buys or declines), 'Follow Through' (delivering on all promises), and 'Follow Back' (maintaining relationships with those who have chosen to work with you).
Hook, Help, Ask
A sales and relationship-building framework. First, 'hook' someone by finding common ground and establishing a relationship. Second, 'help' them with something unrelated to your business to build trust. Third, and only then, 'ask' for something related to your business.
Past Explains, Not Excuses
A mental model emphasizing that while one's past experiences and challenges can provide context for their character and resilience, they should not be used as an excuse for negative or unprofessional behavior in the present.
9 Questions Answered
By being willing to embarrass yourself, take risks, and face criticism, as those who overcome the fear of embarrassment often achieve greater financial success.
'Fake it till you make it' implies lying, which is detrimental. A better approach is to adopt a 'future me' mindset, acting today as the confident and competent person you intend to become in the near future, which attracts opportunities.
Treat your productive minutes (approximately 1,000 per day) as a bank of money, valuing each minute and refusing to let small setbacks or unproductive moments consume the rest of your day.
Focus on building authentic relationships by finding common ground, offering compliments, and asking open-ended questions to learn about them. Sell the lifestyle and dream first, not just the product's features.
Follow up consistently and forever, but with personalized notes about market updates or relevant news (e.g., using Google Alerts), never asking for anything directly until trust is established.
Over-communicate, be respectful, and focus on ensuring the other side wins, understanding that in most business transactions, your win is contingent on their win.
Leverage content creation on visual platforms like Instagram and YouTube to build a concentrated audience, creating a distribution funnel that pulls people into your story and turns attention into commerce.
Use the 'Hook, Help, Ask' method: first, hook them by establishing a relationship; second, help them with something unrelated to your business; and third, once trust is built, make your business-related ask.
In business, if you're not growing, you're dying. Growth is essential for long-term success, as expenses and taxes constantly increase, and it's also intrinsically linked to human happiness and evolution.
13 Actionable Insights
1. Embrace Embarrassment for Success
Be willing to embarrass yourself, face poor comments, and take risks. Those who are okay with being embarrassed often make more money because they are willing to put themselves out there.
2. Act Like Your Future Self
Instead of ‘fake it till you make it,’ embody the person you aspire to become in the next 12-24 months. Write down who you want to be and act with that confidence and competence today, as the world is attracted to these qualities.
3. Value Time as Currency
Treat your daily productive minutes (around 1,000 for many) like money in a bank. Don’t let small setbacks or unproductive moments ’take’ the rest of your time; instead, invest unused time into tomorrow.
4. Optimize Meeting Efficiency
Reduce meeting durations by being clear about the call to action and respecting everyone’s time. This encourages conciseness and allows for more to be accomplished without unnecessary ’no talk,’ while still permitting productive small talk.
5. Master the Art of the Non-Sale
Approach selling by not explicitly ‘selling’ anything. Build authentic relationships by finding common ground, offering compliments, and asking open-ended questions to let people talk and build trust.
6. Sell the Dream, Not the Product
When selling, focus on the lifestyle, opportunity, and dream the product provides first, rather than just its features or physical attributes. People buy into the dream before the tangible item.
7. Follow Up Relentlessly and Smartly
Follow up consistently until a client buys, dies, or explicitly declines. Use tools like Google Alerts to find relevant updates about potential clients and send personalized, non-demanding messages to stay top-of-mind.
8. Prioritize Others’ Wins in Negotiation
Over-communicate and ‘kill them with honey’ in negotiations. Focus on ensuring the other side wins, as true business transactions result in a win for both parties, which ultimately leads to your own success.
9. Leverage Content for Distribution
Build a personal brand by consistently creating content that pulls people into your story. This creates a distribution funnel for your business, turning attention into community and ultimately commerce.
10. Become a Community Hub
To build a brand in a new city, interview small business owners, create content about them, and build a website that serves as a public resource for the community, becoming a trusted local expert.
11. Hook, Help, Then Ask
When meeting new people, first ‘hook’ them by finding common ground and establishing a relationship. Then ‘help’ them with something unrelated to your business to build trust. Only after building trust can you make an ‘ask’.
12. Embrace Growth as Essential
Understand that in business, if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Continuously push boundaries and strive for more, even if it’s just 1% more each day, as growth is intrinsically linked to happiness and evolution.
13. Past Explains, Not Excuses
Recognize that your past experiences and struggles explain who you are, but they do not excuse negative behavior. Use resilience gained from challenges to drive positive actions and avoid being an ‘asshole’.
9 Key Quotes
If you're willing to embarrass yourself, you make more money every time.
Ryan Serhant
I'm not faking anything. I know to my core, the person I'm going to show you right now is the person I'm going to become 12 to 24 months from now.
Ryan Serhant
The world is attracted to confidence and competence. And so if you can be competent while being humbly confident, people will give you the things that you want, the things that you ask for.
Ryan Serhant
You have to treat those 1,000 minutes like money. It's the only way you won't waste it.
Ryan Serhant
People don't want to be sold, but they love shopping.
Ryan Serhant
Ego kills more deals than anything. Ego kills more careers. More relationships.
Ryan Serhant
The only way out is through.
Ryan Serhant
The most valuable asset in any business is distribution.
Ryan Serhant
Your past explains you, but it does not excuse you.
Ryan Serhant
4 Protocols
Ryan Serhant's Million Dollar Listing Audition Strategy
Ryan Serhant- Identify the ideal persona of the person you want to become (e.g., a successful agent on a TV show).
- Borrow resources (e.g., a luxury car) to project that image.
- Coordinate impressive listings to showcase.
- Schedule early morning meetings (e.g., 5 a.m.) to tire out the crew and demonstrate commitment.
- Act without filter (e.g., showering on camera) to show authenticity and fearlessness.
- Arrange for frequent 'calls' to simulate a busy schedule.
- Recruit a friend to act as a difficult, high-profile client for a showing.
- Create an unexpected exit or 'surprise' (e.g., leaving abruptly) to make them double down their focus on you.
Ryan Serhant's Daily Productivity Structure (1,000 Minutes a Day)
Ryan Serhant- Wake up and acknowledge you have a 'bank' of 1,000 fresh minutes (or dollars) for the day.
- Structure your day into three parts: 'find business,' 'keep business,' and 'do business.'
- Act as the CEO, CFO, and COO of your own life within these time blocks.
- Use minutes wisely, treating them as a valuable currency.
- If minutes are unused, 'invest' them into tomorrow.
- If someone 'ruins' some minutes, don't let it affect the rest of your day.
The Three F's of Client Engagement
Ryan Serhant- Follow Up: Persistently contact potential clients until they buy, die, or explicitly decline to work with you.
- Follow Through: Deliver on every promise and commitment you make.
- Follow Back: Maintain relationships and engagement with all clients who have chosen to work with you.
Hook, Help, Ask Sales Framework
Ryan Serhant- Hook Them: Find something in common and a reason to establish a relationship, making them part of your orbit.
- Help Them: Provide assistance or value unrelated to your core business (e.g., an introduction, a discount, tickets).
- Ask Them: Once trust is built through the first two steps, you have earned the right to make a business-related ask.