#78 - Sasha Cohen: The price of achievement, and redefining success
Sasha Cohen, former US Olympic figure skater and 2006 silver medalist, discusses the immense pressures and expectations of Olympian life, including her unforgettable 2006 performance. She shares insights on the hollowness of achievement and the critical importance of redefining success and identity post-career, a common struggle for many Olympians.
Deep Dive Analysis
14 Topic Outline
Sasha Cohen's 2006 Olympic Experience and Expectations
Figure Skating Program Structure and Scoring
Coping with Falls and Pressure During Olympic Performance
The Hollowness of Achievement and Post-Olympic Identity Loss
Fan and Media Expectations vs. Athlete Reality
Childhood Hyperactivity and Finding Figure Skating
Physical and Mental Challenges of Elite Training
The Narrow Window of Peak Performance for Olympians
The Financial and Support Landscape for US Olympians
Artistry vs. Technicality in Figure Skating
The Transition from Athlete to 'Normal' Life
The Weight of Gold Documentary and Olympian Depression
Redefining Success Beyond Public Validation
Lessons for Life and Approaching Motherhood
5 Key Concepts
Athlete's Denial Mechanism
Athletes develop a strong denial mechanism to block out fear, emotions, and doubts during competition. This allows them to suppress feelings that would otherwise be too overwhelming to process in the moment, enabling continued performance despite internal struggles.
Hollowness of Achievement
This concept describes the feeling of emptiness or lack of sustained fulfillment experienced by elite athletes, even after achieving their lifelong goals like an Olympic gold medal. The intense focus on a singular moment means that once it passes, a new purpose or identity is needed, often leading to a sense of loss.
Identity Loss Post-Career
Many Olympians struggle with a profound loss of identity after retiring from their sport. Their entire lives, often from a young age, are dedicated to training and their athletic persona, leaving them without developed outside interests, friendships, or a clear sense of self once that athletic identity is removed.
Being vs. Doing
This philosophical distinction highlights that in sports, value is often placed on 'doing' (performance, winning, achieving) rather than 'being' (inherent self-worth, relationships, contentment). This can lead to a conditional sense of value for athletes, where their worth diminishes as their performance declines or ends.
The Second Mountain
Referencing David Brooks' concept, this describes a phase of life where individuals move beyond the initial pursuit of external success and public validation (the first mountain) to seek deeper meaning, purpose, and fulfillment through relationships, community, and internal values (the second mountain).
7 Questions Answered
The short program is about 2 minutes and 50 seconds with specific requirements (3 jumps, footwork, spirals, 3 spins), demanding zero margin for error. The long program is over 4 minutes, allows more jumping passes and combinations, and involves more endurance and flexibility, with its score weighted more heavily.
Skaters are trained to 'bounce' up immediately, finding their physical position and matching the music's timing. They must quickly block out the implications of the fall and the audience's reaction to continue the program, relying on years of habituation and suppressing emotions.
Olympians often sacrifice everything for their sport, developing a myopic identity tied to being an athlete. Upon retirement, they lose this core identity, their purpose, and their support system, often feeling years behind their peers in other careers, leading to feelings of insignificance and isolation.
The window for peak performance in figure skating, especially for women, is relatively small, often peaking between 15 and early 20s. Many athletes only attend one Olympics, and bodies change significantly through puberty, making sustained elite performance challenging.
In the US, the Olympic and Paralympic Committee funds athletes without government involvement, relying on donations. In contrast, countries like Russia and China often provide significant government funding, including stipends, apartments, and cars for successful athletes, offering more resources and financial security.
The evolving scoring system places a heavy emphasis on technical abilities and rotations, which rack up more points. This can de-emphasize artistry and personality, leading to younger athletes peaking earlier but potentially sacrificing the development of well-rounded performance and emotional expression.
The documentary explores the mental health struggles of Olympians, particularly the depression and identity loss experienced after their careers. It was inspired by the suicide of bobsledder Steven Holcomb and features other athletes sharing their experiences with the immense pressure and the aftermath of the Games.
29 Actionable Insights
1. Redefine Success for Happiness
Shift your definition of success from external, competitive achievements to internal measures of happiness and fulfillment, recognizing that societal definitions of success can be fleeting and may not align with personal well-being.
2. Challenge Societal Values
Be willing to let go of societal values and external projections of success (e.g., youth, thinness, beauty, material possessions) that are often profitable illusions, and instead focus on internal self-reflection and changing your relationship with yourself and the world.
3. Prioritize Relationships for Health
Recognize and prioritize the importance of strong relationships with family and friends, as a lack of social connection can exacerbate mental health challenges and lead to feelings of isolation.
4. Cultivate Diverse Interests
Develop a balanced life with diverse interests and strong friendships outside of your primary pursuit, as relying on one identity can lead to significant challenges when that pursuit ends.
5. Accept Limits of Control
Recognize and accept that you cannot control everything, especially in high-stakes situations, despite the natural tendency to believe you can prevent all negative outcomes.
6. Recognize Fleeting Achievement
Understand that even peak achievements are temporary moments that pass, and relying solely on them for identity or proof of worth leads to a constant need for new validation.
7. Choose Peak Performance or Well-being
Understand that achieving ‘best in the world’ status often requires sacrificing emotional well-being, social connections, and other aspects of a well-rounded life; you may need to choose between peak performance and holistic human functioning.
8. Learn to Ask for Help
Break the habit of always projecting strength and self-reliance; learn to ask for help and share vulnerabilities, as constant self-blame and suppression can be detrimental.
9. Balance Effort and Serendipity
Seek a balance between actively making life happen and allowing for serendipity and unexpected opportunities, recognizing that not everything can be controlled.
10. Prioritize Personal Desire
Reflect on what you genuinely want to do versus what you believe will impress others, aligning your actions with your ’eulogy’ values rather than just your ‘resume’.
11. Engage in Mindfulness for Perspective
Explore practices like meditation and studying philosophical texts to gain a broader perspective on life, counteracting the tendency to be singularly absorbed in immediate concerns.
12. Avoid Impossible Standards
Do not set impossible standards for yourself, as defining success too narrowly (e.g., only first place is acceptable) creates a small margin for feeling successful and leads to fleeting satisfaction.
13. Destigmatize Mental Health Talk
Talk openly about mental health issues to reduce stigma, as suppressing these struggles, especially as an athlete, can undermine performance and well-being.
14. Reframe Expectations for Appreciation
Shift your perspective from rigid expectations (e.g., ‘if I don’t win, I’m a failure’) to a lens of appreciation for the journey and the opportunity, especially as you mature.
15. Relearn Human Functioning Post-Focus
After a period of intense, singular focus (like elite athletics), consciously dedicate time to relearn and cultivate normal human functioning, including emotional expression and social connection, which may have been suppressed.
16. Cultivate Obstinacy, Adapt for Life
Develop obstinacy and persistence (not accepting failure, showing up repeatedly) for athletic greatness, but recognize that in life, this mindset needs adaptation to avoid rigidity and allow for new paths.
17. Break Down Overwhelming Tasks
To manage immense pressure and expectations, break down overwhelming tasks into simple, immediate steps, focusing only on what needs to be done in the present moment.
18. Recover Instantly from Setbacks
When faced with a physical or mental setback, immediately get back up and resume action without dwelling on the fall.
19. Use Self-Guidance During Performance
During a performance, use specific, word-by-word self-guidance to stay focused and execute tasks, especially after a mistake.
20. Block Negative Thoughts During Performance
During a performance or critical task, quickly block out negative thoughts and implications of mistakes to maintain focus and continue with the task at hand.
21. Balance Training to Prevent Injury
Navigate the delicate balance of training harder without pushing yourself to the point of injury, which can set you back.
22. Project Confidence in Competition
In competitive environments, project a brave face and conceal weakness, as showing fear can give opponents confidence and undermine your own performance.
23. Embrace Parenthood for Perspective
Embrace parenthood as an opportunity to shift from a self-centered worldview, reawaken a sense of play, and learn from a child’s fresh perspective on the world, moving beyond rigid expectations and responsibilities.
24. Foster Exploration in Children
Expose children to the world through travel and exploration, emphasizing life as an adventure filled with love rather than solely focusing on becoming a product or excelling at one specific thing.
25. Avoid Conflicts of Interest
To maintain trust with your audience, avoid advocating for products or services when you are being paid by the company that makes them, as this can undermine credibility.
26. Advocate Genuinely Valued Products
Only advocate for products or services that you are genuinely enthusiastic about, as it is difficult to speak enthusiastically about something you don’t truly believe in.
27. Build Subscriber Support Model
Consider a subscriber support model to maintain a simple and honest relationship with your audience, ensuring that value exchange is direct and transparent.
28. Watch Key Performance Videos
To gain context and a deeper understanding of a discussion about a specific performance, watch the relevant video beforehand.
29. Listen to ‘This Is Water’
Listen to David Foster Wallace’s ‘This Is Water’ talk daily for a week, then weekly for three months, and monthly thereafter, to gain perspective on self-worship and meaning.
5 Key Quotes
You have to walk a pirate's plank and you know that you kind of have to just jump into the sharks and you don't feel prepared or equipped to handle it, but the show must go on and you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Sasha Cohen
If you're a medal contender, failing is getting second. Very few people will say, oh, congratulations. You, you have an Olympic medal. It's more that you lost the gold.
Sasha Cohen
You can be a healthy, functioning human being, or you can be the best in the world at something. But you can't be both.
Sasha Cohen
As an athlete, if you are, have fear, any feeling, you have to shut it down. You have to be impervious. You're always fine. You're a robot. You're projecting confidence. And as an actor, you have to take in every emotion from the outside, every vulnerability, cultivate feeling.
Sasha Cohen
It's like all the blood, sweat, and tears creating this social cultural value by winning. And as soon as you stop winning, the value just like, you know, it just disintegrates so quickly.
Sasha Cohen