BITESIZE | How the Modern Epidemic of Perfectionism is Impacting Our Health | Will Storr #433
In this episode, award-winning journalist and author Will Storr discusses how human programming to compare ourselves to others fuels perfectionism and mental health issues. He explains that modern culture sets an unrealistically high bar for status, and offers strategies to mitigate its negative effects.
Deep Dive Analysis
9 Topic Outline
Introduction to Will Storr and The Status Game
How Culture Sets Unrealistic Status Bars
The Mental Health Impact of Unrealistic Expectations
Evolutionary Roots of Status and Modern Disconnect
The Subconscious Impact of Social Media Perfection
Understanding the True Meaning of Status
The Enormous Scale of Modern Status Games
Finding Status Through Multiple Groups and Volunteering
Practical Advice for Managing Status Games
3 Key Concepts
Social Perfectionism
This is a heightened sensitivity to failure within one's environment, driven by an internal ideal of who one should be. When societal and cultural standards for 'good enough' are set unrealistically high, individuals constantly feel they are falling short, leading to significant stress and mental health issues.
The Status Game
This refers to the inherent human drive to achieve a level of value and recognition from others, which involves both comparing oneself to peers and evaluating others. At its core, status is the fundamental feeling of being valued within one's social group or 'tribe,' rather than solely celebrity or wealth.
The Status Bar
This represents the constantly shifting and often unrealistically high standard for what is considered 'good enough' or 'successful' in society. This bar is heavily influenced by culture, media, and social platforms, causing individuals to feel inadequate when they perceive themselves as not meeting these elevated ideals.
5 Questions Answered
Perfectionism is on the rise because modern culture sets an unrealistically high 'bar' for what is considered good enough, constantly exposing individuals to ideal selves and heroic figures through media, leading to a pervasive feeling of being 'less than' or failing.
Humans evolved to play 'small status games' within small, local tribal groups, where exposure to 'perfection' was limited. Today, we are constantly exposed to 'insanely high' levels of perfection from global figures and social media, which our brains are not naturally equipped to handle.
While we can rationally understand that people present only their best selves online, our subconscious still internalizes these curated images as reality, leading to feelings of inadequacy and comparison, as demonstrated by personal experiences even among those who understand the phenomenon.
Status is fundamentally the feeling of being valued by others, a sense of being a valuable person. It's a basic human need, alongside connection and belonging, and can be derived from moral qualities, competence, or contributions to a group.
Yes, absolutely. Playing multiple 'status games' by belonging to various groups or volunteering can provide alternative sources of status, offering a sense of value and contributing to greater happiness and emotional stability.
5 Actionable Insights
1. Limit Your Status Competition
Recognize that you are not competing with everyone in the world, but rather playing a ’little status game’ within your local context. This understanding can be a liberating mindset shift to reduce pressure and help you focus in.
2. Mute Painful Social Media
Mute or unfollow social media accounts that cause feelings of inadequacy or pain, even if you rationally know they only share successes. This is a crucial way to protect yourself, as your subconscious still takes in these signals, and you should do it proudly.
3. Play Multiple Status Games
Actively participate in multiple social groups or communities to gain diverse sources of status and value. Research indicates that belonging to more groups leads to greater happiness and emotional stability.
4. Volunteer for Status & Value
Engage in volunteering to create a new ‘status game’ for yourself, providing a valuable signal to your subconscious that you are of value to other people. This is especially beneficial if you feel a lack of status in other areas of your life.
5. Cultivate a Skill for Status
Find something you are reasonably good at and develop it, as competence in a skill can provide a sense of value and status. This feeling of being valued is more crucial for happiness than wealth.
5 Key Quotes
What perfectionism is, is a sensitivity to failure in your environment.
Will Storr
Even if we know that's happening, I think our subconscious still takes in the message that that's their life. That's their life. That's their life.
Dr. Chatterjee
Status is simply the feeling of being valued. It's the sense of, I'm a valuable person.
Will Storr
69 out of the hundred biggest economies in the world aren't nations, they're companies.
Will Storr
You don't need to be rich to be happy. You don't need to be rich to feel like you're of value. You just need status. And actually it ain't that hard to come by. Just find something that you're quite good at and you'll get it.
Will Storr
1 Protocols
Protecting Yourself from Social Comparison
Will Storr- Recognize that you are not competing with everybody in the world; your status game is local.
- Mute or distance yourself from social media accounts or people whose constant display of success makes you feel bad or inadequate.
- Find something you are quite good at to create a new source of status and feel valued.
- Belong to multiple groups to have multiple sources of status and emotional stability.